In My Own Word
Righteousness
Not just me who live here
in this state of mind that take my being,
I bleed and die from the hate of those people
i feel the fear in there eyes.
i have the weight of the world on my back,
in my heart, and no one loves the Dyke,
and i'm not good enough for god
who has made me in his image
as the pastor teaches hate
from the book of love
but i an not bitter
just sadden  by  people
who hate out of righteousness
BLACK ROSES

black roses grow at the foot of my bed
in silent they whisper around me
the glares of stares crawl up my skin
as if spiders were consuming my flesh
my life has become a painting
without any shades of color just darkness
I laugh with great pain
at the thoughs  forgotten days
that leaves my eyes tearful
the rows of roses grow dead before they bloom
already picked by the world
to quick to smile with sharp lips
that kills even the strongest of soul
I was placed here I said in a tired voice
to explain my being
that seemed to make people question my existent
or is this the time or place to grow my roses
I was born with a seed dark and hard
placed in my soul and called it a heart
and every lost loved watered it with my tears
now black rose grow beside my bed
in rows of forever
as silent whisper burn my ears
and stares crawl up my skin like spiders
Human Emotion
I cried for the past
lonely and sad
the place that held my pain
where dreams fade in to the dark place of nothingness
where my displacement was brought upon
by travels of endless broken promises
a place where love never could have found me
I hid in my shadow of thing that should have been
and found fear
I held on tight to that
the only thing I knew
leaving me in uncontrollable tears
it took over my being
torched my soul
and left me breathless
and all my hopes faded
and my dreams scarred
then I stop to remember
I am only human
Counted
can you count to a million on your fingers
a figure that claimed my pain
in  weekest i see the bleakest of the number
in war i see the masses of the figures
a statistic
to large to comperhend
can you count to a million in you mind
remembering  the dead as if dead was here
who could figer the living would mourn
life that once was
and parents stand beside graves
and tears shed for life never lived
is peace a state of mind
never reached in revenge
for an eye for an eye
and a country for a life
we praise war
as if fighting was the key to living
can you see a million lives lost
out of pain blood is shed
war is now and million are dead
I was apart of this world
I was apart of this world once
I remember
it still makes me smile
I didn’t always stand out
I wasn’t always this lost
but who was
they made me like this
laugh at me for who I was
and I will never be again
but  I let them hurt me
and put me down
then i cry from the pain
but I was apart of this world once
I remember
like daydreams of growing up
I was happy with my youthfulness
I wanted more for myself
for my life
but thing change so fast
and I lost myself
and became unwanted
inside my self
but I was a part of this world once
I remember
like hopes of being apart again
but I cant remember the way back
to that time and place
where life wasn’t so hard
and I wasn’t so different
but I was apart of this world once
yet no one remembers me
so I can never go back again
There is no me,
She said as she smiles in a twisted sort of way, losing herself in the sadness of a broken heart.
There is no me,
She said as the reality set in, that she is not ever coming back, and the dreams of a life together have been replace with an empty feeling that leave pains in her stomach.
There is no me,
She saids, because in the end, she knew that she had lost her other half, her partner, a huge part of her soul,The one person she loved with all my heart, soul, and mind.
There is no me,
She said, staring at the floor trying to hold back the tears as her body weakens from the stress, and he mind leave her and she mutters the last of her words, There is no me, with-out her.
There Is No Me
Germiane

Across many sea many has descend
We should have never believe that these people were our friends
And the blood that was shed shown we bleed red
And for our falling king, well god bless the dead
And these life and these time has spark many rhythms
Through the rain and the shine has claimed many lives
And this pain is to deep, be carried though all of time
And they say our futures bleak, but I can’t believe these lies

You African kings have been tricked, and label addicts
Hugging your seeds through bars, claiming shit don’t really matter
But how can you fathom the plight of a black man life,
When he dreams of bling-bling and his real life stings,
And he’s back against a wall; of course he’s going to fight
While little boys learn to be men though the words of their mothers
16 hour days teaching black men to be brothers

And the trap has be set, of shit that has to change
We were taken, we were stripped and we were given slave names
And our freedom sparked a cycle of shit that never change
While the booze and the drugs were given to ease our pain
But this cycle of shit, we soon all have to face
And drugs, and welfare, and the ghetto, and jail, well it keeps it all in place
And these live and these time will never be replace
But my people will get strong and one day leaves this place
Nightmare
The only thing that I dream,
when I sleep is the sweet sweet tasted of you
the softness of you lip, the swaying of your hips
The bouncing of your…
The perfect women I thought you were
No crime shell you commit
So I woe you my princess, my Puerto Rican princess,
With your tan, skin and your wavy hair,
I felled for those green eyes that made me week in the knees
And the attraction to you was much deeper
Much much deeper then that of you out side,
The tear you shed the life you led the person personality you revealed
Could still the heart any women or man.
I gave myself raw to the game of you
Forgetting that you are only human
Lifting my walls, forgetting the falls that other have giving me
I walked blindly in to your world not stopping to think or breathe,
Never taking in the whole truth
Believing in the power of us,
But there was no us just you
So I had no power
To stop my down fall,
To release your grip,
To stop the pain of a broken heart
And the demise of my sprit
So now my day start early and my night last long,
Dreams torches my sleep of the happy times
And love plays on my self couches
Remembering the good,
But I wish in my night time rest
I could see you for what you really are
My nightmare
She doesn’t love me any more,
Her loved fade I watched it
I saw it, I try to stop it, but couldn’t
She wanted something different
Something new something not me,
But I still want her
I felt the kisses change,
And the late night talks got shorter,
She stops call me pooh bear and Corrina became more frequent,
I saw the change in the way she looked at me
Her smile where not mines any more
Her touch was not warm
And her hugs were distant
She doesn’t love me anymore or not in love with me
Her soul doesn’t burn with happiness when she sees me;
Her heart doesn’t skip a beat when I am near
She doesn’t laugh at my child composure
Or thinks it cute that she is my world,
She doesn’t love me any more
But with all that I see and all that I feel
In the end my love was still there
In the end my love was hunger,
And in the end my heart was broken
Cause she don’t love me any more
She doesn’t love me any more

Shatter glass,
Pieces shatter on the floor
Gazing pointy, sharp,
bloody bloody more bloody
tear felled  glass  lying on the floor,
shatter screaming crying
hopeless glass shatter on the floor,
in hand
through wrist,
broken veins,
broken sprit ,
broken heart,
shatter mind,
shatter body
shatter me,
shatter glass
all lying on the floor
Shatter Glass
My voice is hollow with out any steady rhythm
I don’t smile
The sunlight dances over my blanket
And I wish I hadn’t left my dream,
And then I start missing the night
Mornings