Quotes from Quark ... 330KB

More quotes from Quark ... 233KB

Even more quotes from Quark ... 375KB

Quotes from Rom ... 35KB

Misc. Ferengi ... 398KB

Misc. Ferengi ... 233KB

Misc. Ferengi ... 325KB

Misc. Ferengi ... 532KB

Misc. Ferengi ... 283KB

~~~~ RULES of ACQUISITION ~~~~

0. The "Un-written" rule. 




1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.


[Rom, "The Nagus"] 




3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.


[Quark, "The Maquis Part II"]




6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.


[Zek, "The Nagus"] 




7. Keep your ears open.


[Odo, "Hands of the Prophet"] 



8. Small print leads to large risk. 


[LotF] 




9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.


[Nog, "The Storyteller"] 




10. Greed is eternal.


[Quark, "Prophet Motive"] 




13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. 


[LotF] 





16. A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along).


[Quark, "Melora"] 




17. A contract is a contract ia a contract 

(...but only between Ferengi).


[DS9 "Body Parts"] 




18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.


[Ben Sisko & Nog, "Heart of Stone"] 




19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.


[LotF] 




21. Never place friendship above profit.


[Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"] 




22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. 


[Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 



27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. 


[LotF] 




31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother (...insult something he cares about instead).


[Quark, "The Siege"] 




33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. 


[Quark & Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 




34. War is good for business.


[Quark, "Destiny"] 



35. Peace is good for business.


[Quark & Dax, "Destiny"] 



40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. 


[LotF] 



41. Profit is its own reward. 


[LotF] 



44. Never confuse wisdom with luck. 


[LotF] 




47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.


[Quark, "Rivals"] 




48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. 


[Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 




52. Never ask when you can take. 


[LotF] 




57. Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them.


[Quark, "Armageddon Game"] 



58. There is no substitute for success. 


[LotF] 




59. Free advice is seldom cheap. 


[Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"] 



60. Keep your lies consistent. 


[LotF] 




62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. 


[Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 



65. Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff. 


[LotF] 




75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. 


[Quark, "Civil Defense"] 




76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.


[Quark, "The Homecoming"] 



79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. 


[LotF] 




82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price. 


[LotF] 



85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking. 


[LotF] 



89. Ask not what your profits can do for you,

 ask what you can do for your profits. 


[LotF] 




94. Females and finances don't mix.


["Ferengi Love Songs"] 




95. Expand ... or Die.


[LotF] 




97. Enough ... is never enough. 


[LotF] 



98. Every man has his price. 


[Quark, "In The Pale Moonlight"] 




99. Trust is the biggest liability of all. 


[LotF] 




102. Nature decays but latinum last forever. 


[Quark & Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"]




103. Sleep can interfere .... [cut off] 


[Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"] 




104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory. 


[LotF] 



106. There is no honor in poverty. 


[LotF] 




109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. 


[Quark, "Rivals"]




111. Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them!


[Ben Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"]




111. Worf's verson.




112. Never have sex with the boss's sister. 


[Quark, "Playing God"]



113. Always have sex with the boss. 


[LotF] 




121. Everything is for sale. Even friendship. 


[LotF] 




123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. 


[LotF]




125. You can't make a deal if your dead.




139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. 


[Odo, "Necessary Evil"]




139. In the Original Ferengi!



141. Only fools pay retail. 


[LotF] 



144. There's nothing wrong with charity...

as long as it winds up in your pocket. 


[LotF] 




162. Even in the worst of times someone makes a profit. 


[LotF]




168. Whisper your way to success.


[Nog, "Treachery, Faith, & the Great River"]



177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.


[LotF] 




181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. 


[LotF]




189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum. [LotF] 




190. Hear all, trust nothing. 


[Ben Sisko & Nog, "A Call to Arms"]



192. Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you can get away with it.


[LotF] 




194. It's always good business to know about new customers

 before they walk in your door. 


[Quark, "Whispers"]



202. The justification of profit is profit. 


[LotF] 




203. New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. 

They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. 


[Rom, "Little Green Men"]




208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous 

than a question is an answer. 


[Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"]




211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. 

Don't hesitate to step on them. 


[Frool, "The Bar Association"]




214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.


[Quark, "The Maquis Part I"]




217. You can't free a fish from water. 


[Quark, "Past Tense, Part I"]



218. Always know what you're buying. 


[LotF] 



223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. 


[LotF] 




229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. 


["Ferengi Love Songs"]



236. You can't buy fate. 


[LotF] 




239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. 


[Grand Nagus Gint, "Body Parts"]



242. More is good ... all is better. 


[LotF] 




255. A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant a necessity.


[LotF] 




261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. 


[LotF] 




263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.


[Rom, "The Bar Association"]




266. When in doubt, lie. 


[LotF] 




284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi. 


[LotF] 




285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. 


[Quark, "The Collaborator"]




???. Wait a minute, there are only 285 Rules of Aquisition.


[Arridor & Kol, "False Profits"]




286. When Morn leaves, it's all over. 


[Quark ... Not official, but it should be]




299. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them ... 

(that way it is easier to exploit them the next time).


[Grand Proxy Neelix, "False Profits"]