Ed Byrne

This is dedicated to my sister Lucinda

Quotes



This is taken from the 1998 Melbourne International Comedy Festival gala

"I love that bit of musical parody. I'd love to see them do like a musical parody of ironic by Alanis Morrisette, they could do a really wacky version with some irony in it.That would be an odd notion wouldn't it?

Cause that song really gets to me for that very reason cause she wrote a song about irony and filled them with things that were supposed to be ironic and none of them were. they were all just unfortunate. I always think that song should of been called 'Unfortunate'. The only ironic thing about that song is that it's called ironic and it's written by someone who doesn't know what irony is. Fairly ironic when you think about it.

I'm going to coin a new word which is 'alanic', that's things that aren't ironic but you might think they were if you were a dozy canadian bint

I'm not being harsh, if you actually listen to the lyrics to the song. "Like a traffic jam when your already late"- that's not ironic it's just a pain in the hole that's what that is. When was the last time you were late for something, got stuck in a traffic jam and said "Look on the irony on this , there's irony for ya. I'll tell ya I was in a fierce ironic traffic jam the other day iIll tell ya. The irony was ninety."

No, there's nothing ironic about being stuck in a traffic jam when your late for something. Unless your a town planner. If you were a town planner and you were on your way to a seminar of town planners at which you were giving a talk on how you solved the problem of traffic congestion in your area, couldn't get to it because you were stuck in a traffic jam, that'd be well ironic, I'm sorry I'm late you'll never guess.

"It's like rain on your wedding day", only if marrying a weatherman and he set the date. I could go on and I will.

A no-smoking sign on your ciggerette break, that's inconsiderate office management. A no-smoking sign in a cigerette factory- irony. It's not a difficult concept Alanis. It's very rare you see a ironic no-smoking sign although if you ever see one of those that say thank-you for not smoking and you are. Fairly ironic

The best line in that song has got to be the line "It's like 10 000 spoons when all you need is a knife." That's not ironic that's just bloody stupid. How big is your sink alanis? We haven't got 10 000 spoons beween us have we? What do you need this knife for? To stab the bloke who keeps leaving spoons all over your house. But we'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Imagine you needed a knife for something, couldn't find one cause all you find was 10 000 spoons, could happen. And therefore you couldn't do whatever it was you needed the knife for then the next day it turned out that a spoon would have done.

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