Under Siege 2 -Dark Territory

Staring: Steven Segal

Review by The Ranting WolfCastle

    Steven Segal movies are generally aimed at adolescent boys ages 13-15.  At least that's what I think.  Kids that age go crazy for fighting and violence.  Unfortunately Under Siege 2 is rated R, so a lot of 13-15 year olds were probably disappointed when they had to go see it with mommy.

    Steven Segal (Under Siege, Above the Law) stars as Casey Ryback a former Navy SEAL that has a knack of being in the wrong place at the right time.  He's going on a train from Denver to L.A. with his niece, on vacation.  How sweet.  Some kind of genius guy that invented a secret satellite that destroys things, fakes his death.  You might not think that these two seemingly separate stories have anything to do with one another, but you'd be wrong.  Now the genius has a plan to take over the government satellite that he designed, to make a billion dollars.  And where do you think he wants to set up shop?  You guessed it, the train that Ryback is on.  Now our hero must defy incredible odds to stop the crazy geek and his loyal droogs.

    It seems to me that Segal is only cast to show off his martial art skills.  So I would assume that this film would do that, but as I have learned from my first viewing of Under Siege 2 "Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups."  And that theory holds true in my case.  This isn't a fighting movie that Segal's fans may expect.  It's more of a shooting action type flick.  Sure there are some scenes where the bloodthirsty Segal rips the arms off of unsuspecting bad guys and shoves those limbs down their respective throats, but more over it's a shooting movie.  Kind of disappointing, because when there really isn't much of a script in an action movie, I'd much rather see the mutilation of others on a more physical basis than a firepower one.

    So what's wrong with the script, you ask?  Well nothing if the title of this movie was Under Siege or perhaps more appropriately Die Hard.   Actually I take that back, this movie can't even compare to the latter.  Die Hard is in my opinion the best action movie ever, and in fact the only thing that this film has in common with it's greater counterpart is the plot.  Take Die Hard, put it on a train, get rid of the good actors like Bruce Willis, and sub in not so good actors like Steven Segal, make the characters totally one dimensional, take away all emotional appeal, get rid of the smart dialogue, add a bit of karate type shit, and you've got Under Siege 2.  Just another script trying to tag on to the Hollywood cash cow of terrorist movies. 

    I don't even know why they made a sequel to Under Siege, that's like cloning a big pile of elephant excrement, isn't it?  Alright, maybe a little pile.  Actually I didn't mind the first film, but why make another?  It's the same script, right down the makeshift bomb.  What a waste of time.

    Another thing that puzzled me in this film, was the very end fight, where Segal and the bad guy decide to not shoot each other, as the trend of the film suggests, but to beat the living piss out of one another.  Neat.  So of course Segal gives this guy a pounding, but he just keeps ticking.  The guys like a Timex.   When I grow up I want to be a bad guy, then I can take 83 elbows to the chops, and still come back strong.  That will rule.  But the part that puzzles me, is the fast forwarding thing they did.  Did they think that we wouldn't notice?  Parts of the fight scene are obviously sped up, I don't know if this is to make us think that Segal is really fast, or if they just didn't for effect.  Either way, they are seriously underestimating us.

    This movie isn't very good.  You can sit through it if you have to, but I wouldn't recommend it.

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