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Business Jokes

Tickle me Elmo Doll Factory

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday, almost quitting time, when the boss hurriedly told the lady to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.

On Monday they started up the line and after twenty minutes they had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.

The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two - 'Test' - tickles."


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Boss's Rolls Royce

A Secretary and her Boss were sitting in a modern office facing each other. The Boss, an absent-minded man, forgot to zip his fly and wear his underpants that morning. When she saw the Boss had not wore his underpants and forgot to zip his fly, the Secretary was embarrassed to inform him of his unpleasantness, so the Secretary tried to put it in a nicer way.

Secretary: "Boss, this morning, I passed your house your garage was opened." The surprised Boss said that when he came out, the garage was properly locked.
Secretary: "I'm sure your garage was open this morning."

So the Boss called his wife to checked whether the garage was open or not. His wife told him that the garage was locked the whole morning. After a while, the Boss was searching his pockets for a cigarette when he found out he had not wore his underpants and his zipper was undone. In order to save his own embarrassment, he asked the Secretary.

Boss: "You said my garage was open this morning, did you see my ROLLS ROYCE?"
Secretary: "No sir, all I saw was an old Mini with TWO SLOPPY PUNCTURED tires."
Boss: "[Shit!!!]...In that case, how about a ride on my Mini tonight?"
Secretary: "I can't. I have driving lessons tonight. My boyfriend's teaching me "parallel parking" in his MERCEDES BENZ tonight..."
Boss: "It must be difficult to find parking space for a Mercedes Benz."
Secretary: "Yeah, especially when it occupies 2 MINI car parking space."


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I Slept with my Patient

Howard had felt guilty about it all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him. "Howard, Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients and you won't be the last." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality. "Howard, you're a veterinarian."


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