Blonde Jokes



Blonde Jokes

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*Disclaimer*

The jokes contained on this page do not reflect the views of the creator of The Jokes Homepage nor are they intended to degrade other people. They are merely jokes intended for entertainment not to bash blondes, lawyers, nor people of different race or gender. If you believe these jokes to be offensives, leave this site, do not email me complaining. I don't hate anyone or group of people mentioned in these jokes. I only posted these jokes as a collection for others who can take these jokes lightheartedly.


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How do you measure a blonde's IQ?
With a tire guage!


Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.

A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny
were walking along when they saw $100. Who got the money?
The dumb blonde because the other three don't exist.

Why did the blonde dye her hair red?
Instant intelligence!

Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
So they remember 'Toe Goes in First'

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't get all that water in the little package.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
It said 'concentrate'

What do a blonde and a burnt out light bulb have in common?
One's just as bright as the other!

How do you make a blonde laugh on Sunday?
You tell her a joke on Thursday!

How can you tell if a blonde has just been using a computer?
There's white-out on the screen!

Why'd the blonde faint?
She forgot to breathe.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!!!

What do you call a blonde that just won the lottery?
Easy money!!!

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a swimming pool!

Did you hear about the blonde whose navel was surrounded by ugly bruises?
Her boyfriend was blonde, too.

How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear!

How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was run over by the zamboni machine.

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

Why do blondes take the pill?
So they know what day of the week it is.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted!

Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
So she could lip read!

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
By throwing it off of a cliff.

How did the blonde try to kill the fish?
By drowning it.

How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A space invader.

What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
Proofreading.

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide-and-seek champ.


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