An audio skit:  Uncle Ned and Roy are sitting in the park talking.

Uncle Ned:  “Son of a one titted whore and a three testicled gigalo!  What a beutifull day
to be in the park!  The sun is shinning, the grass is freshly mowed and officer Jenkins
isn’t on duty!  So hows about a little later you and I wip it out and give it a tug?  Come on
what doya say Roy?”

Roy:  “I’m not going to be wipen anything out today.  Or tugging it for that matter.  I feel
like shit, wich is what I think I have to do exept I’m constipated.”

Uncle Ned:  “Here eat a peach and a few prunes- that ought to unclaug the old shit
shute!”

Roy:  “Thanx Uncle Ned.”  eating noises heard  “So how long do you think before I can
set a toilet pickle free?”

Uncle Ned:  “Oh I dono.  Probably a good.....”  Roy starts makeing noises.

Roy:  “Oh! Ahh!  What’s happenning to me?!  I have to shit real bad!  It feels like I’m
haveing a baby!”

Uncle Ned:  “Dear lord!  You are haveing a baby!  (insert Roy screaming with Un
makeing noise)  I can see the head! (more noise)  Come on Roy push!  Breath! ( Bush
song)  Come on Roy!  Ohh! Here it comes!(Baby Crying)  Its a boy!”

Roy:  “I’m a mother.”

Uncle Ned:  “Well - what are ya going to name him?”

Roy:  “I think Turd is a sutable name.”

Uncle Ned:  “Wait a minut though.  Lets stop to consider.  How the hell did you have a
baby?!  Your not a woman!  It’s kinda fuckin imposible!  Thats not your baby Roy! Know
what I’m sayin?”

Roy:  “It is so my baby! Your just jeoulous caus I’m a mother.”

Uncle Ned:  “Yeah-your a Mother - fucker! But Roy!  How could you get pregnant?  I
certainly didn’t do it!”

Roy:  “I know what happened!  I must have swallowed some ovum while giveing some
good oral lovin!”

Uncle Ned:  “Good oral lovin!  You can’t get pregnant from that!”

Roy:  “My friend Bert got pregnant from anal sex.  He was reamed in the ass by a
drunken farmer one night and the next day he layed an egg.”

 
Turd:  “Mama!”

Roy:  “Look it called me mama!”

Uncle Ned:  “Stop this foolishness!  I know what happened!  You must have sat on him
and he got stuck up your ass!  He’d been stuck up there all this time and now you finally
crapped him free.  That’s a sensible explination!”

Turd:  “Uncle Ned!  Mama!”

Uncle Ned:  “Shut your cock hole!”

Turd:  “Mama! Uncle Ned!  Uncle Ned!”

Uncle Ned:  “God he’s so sexy when he says that. -I mean - uh -Shut your cock hole or
I’m going to rip it off!”

Turd:  “Uncle Ned and Roy come play with Turd!”

Uncle Ned:  “I said stuff it!”

Turd:  “Mama!”

Roy:  “Awe- he wants you to play with him.”

Uncle Ned:  “I can’t take it anymore!  I’m shoving him back up your ass!”

Turd:  “Ahh!  Umph!”

Roy:  “That feels kind of good.”