When we got to the boat deck the davits were empty. Alarmed, I told Jack the boats were gone. I saw Col. Gracie escorting two frightened women and I asked him if there were any more boats and he said that are a couple all the way forward. Jack grabbed my hand and we ran past them. I was fighting to keep the fear at bay. My heart was pounding wildly and a part of me wanted to scream. My clothes were wet and I was shivering from the cold night air. I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare I was having.

There was a lot of commotion as we approached the boats. The officers were shouting women and children only, and the crowd seemed to be one of confusion and fear. One officer got so excited that he started to fire his pistol above the crowd to keep them away from the boats.

There were two small girls being loaded into a boat with their mother and I noticed their tearful faces as they asked why their daddy was not coming. I looked at their father and saw the sadness in his face as he told his little girls he would be along in another boat. My heart was breaking for those children because they would never see their father again. That is when I looked at Jack. I knew if I got on that boat, I would never see Jack alive again. I told him I would not leave without him. He told me I had to get on the boat, but again I refused. I told myself that I would rather take my chances with Jack on the ship then have him die without me.

Then Cal's voice startled me as he repeated what Jack had just told me. When I saw Cal, I moved closer to Jack for protection. Cal's jaw clenched as he saw the two of us together but he forced a smile as he said that He and Jack had another boat waiting. Jack's reply was encouraging, and I finally, but with hesitation got into the boat. The officer helped me to get seated and then he lowered the boat. I felt it jerk beneath me as the pulleys slowly lowered the boat to the frigid water below.

The sky lit up from the emergency rockets as I looked into Jack's face and saw the sadness in his eyes. My sense of reality seemed to be passing in slow motion as that boat made its way downward. I stood transfixed looking at Jack. The look of sorrow in his face at seeing me leave, betrayed his wanting me to get on the boat. I knew I could not leave without him. If Jack was going to die, then I wanted to die with him.

I leaped from the boat, nearly missing the ship as I struggled to climb back aboard. I heard Cal shouting for people to stop me but as soon as my feet touched the deck of the ship, I ran back to the upper level. People were too astonished to stop me as I made my way back.

At the grand staircase, Jack came running towards me. We both fell into each other's arms kissing and hugging. My emotions got the best of me and the tears flowed freely. Jack cupped my face in his hands and asked why I did such a stupid thing. I smiled through my tears and said, You jump I jump right? He kissed me again and I told him I could not leave him. He told me it was all right and that we would find a way.

Suddenly Jack shouted run and I heard a sharp cracking noise and then the carving at the bottom of the banister seemed to explode. Jack practically was dragging me down the steps and as I glanced behind me, I saw the reason for his concern. Cal had a gun and was shooting at us. There were several more shots fired and we fled further down the staircase, crossing the flooded dining room and then headed below deck where we hid hoping Cal would not find us. I heard him shout I hope you enjoy your time together. We waited a few more minutes until we were sure Cal was no longer following us.

Cal had taken complete leave of his senses. I wondered where Cal could have gotten a gun but then I remembered that Lovejoy always wore one. Damn both Cal and Lovejoy, I was lucky that Cal was a poor shot. Otherwise, he would have killed us both.

We were about to climb back up the stairs, when we heard wailing. We both turned towards the direction of the noise and there was a small child standing alone in water up to his knees. I told Jack we could not leave him and he ran after the child and picked him up. Then we ran down to the end of the corridor. The door was groaning dreadfully and both of us sensed danger so we turned around.

Rushing water blocked the way and as we again turned around, a man appeared. He grabbed the child from Jack, I assume he must have been his father, and shouted at him in another language. He ran back towards the door and I just knew something horrible was about to happen. I shouted at him that he was going the wrong way, but he did not understand me. He seemed to pause a few seconds wondering what to do.

Then the door burst open and I watched in horror as an immense wall of water rushed in burying both the man and the child and headed straight for us. We turned down a side corridor as the main force swept past us. The secondary stream followed us up the stairway and slammed us against the gate.

I was stunned for a moment and saw Jack grab a pipe overhead and move towards a stairwell that the water had not yet submerged. I followed him and we climbed the stairs to another gate, which was also locked. On the other side, there was a steward about to leave when he saw the rising water. I called out to him to please help us. He stood there for a second as if contemplating a decision, then ran over to unlock the gate. He was nervous and afraid as he fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the gate. He dropped the keys and ran off.

The water was rising higher each second. Jack submerged to retrieve the keys and when he surfaced, the water was nearly up to our chests. He asked me which key as he tried all the keys. I told him to try the short key. The short key fit, but would not turn. The water was rising now up to our necks. I was silently praying to God not to let us die here when the key turned and the lock opened. Jack pushed open the gate and we made it through up to the next deck.

It seemed like we climbed numerous stairwells until we came into the smoking room. I saw Mr. Andrews standing in front of the fireplace and told Jack to stop for a second. I gently took Mr. Andrews arm and asked him if he were not going to make a go for it. I will never forget his face and the look in his eyes as he turned to face me. It was one of deep hurt and sorrow as if he had lost something very dear and close to him. He replied, I'm sorry I did not build you a stronger ship young Rose.

I looked at Jack and he told me that we needed to hurry because the ship was going fast. The loud creaking of the ship confirmed Jack was telling the truth. Mr. Andrews then said good luck and I kissed his cheek and told him, The same with you Mr. Andrews. I turned to follow Jack and Mr. Andrews said he had something for me. He picked up his life belt and gave it to me. My last view of him was as he was standing at the fireplace, a vacant expression in his eyes.

As we left the smoking room, I asked Jack why Mr. Andrews was choosing to die. He told me he did not know but that perhaps he was choosing to go down with the ship because he was an honorable man who could not leave the thing he most loved. I looked at Jack and my eyes filled with tears. I replied, Yes of course, now I understand. We looked into each others eyes as the meaning of what Jack had said was silently communicated to both our souls and then we embraced. Jack kissed me and whispered, We will make it Rose, trust me.

When we returned to the boat deck, the scene was one of terror and confusion. I could see people running madly about looking for boats, but alas, all the boats were gone. There were some throwing deck chairs overboard and anything else that could float in an effort to save themselves.

Then I felt the ship lurch upward. There were more screams of panic as people began rushing towards the back of the ship in an effort to escape the encroaching freezing waters. Jack led me by the hand as we followed the crowd. Looking at the mob of people, Jack said we would have to find another way back and he jumped down to the deck below. He shouted at me to jump and I jumped. When I landed, I lost my balance and fell in a heap on the deck. I could sense my strength was beginning to fail me and I struggled to bring myself up.

Another hand gripped my own and a strange voice said, I've got you miss. I looked up and saw a large man who smelled of whiskey and from the way he was dressed I guessed he was a cook or baker. I thanked him for his assistance and I followed Jack up another stair well to the upper deck. level.

The crowd was thinner here and we passed a group of people huddled around a priest, in the act of praying. The priest was reciting from the book of Revelations in the bible and he almost lost his footing as the ship tilted even further upwards.

Suddenly I heard a commotion and as I turned my face towards the noise I noticed Cal in a boat madly swinging an oar over his head and shouting, You'll swamp the boat. It is remarkable how adversity reveals the true character of a person. Cal was nothing but a sniveling coward. Jack was courageous and noble even in the face of death.

When we reached the stern, memories of the past two days flashed rapidly through my mind. Here is where it all began. This is where I first held Jack's hand and looked into his eyes. This is where we exchanged names. This is where Jack had saved my life. Now we were both here again, our futures uncertain. I felt a lump in my throat as I told Jack that this is where we first met. He looked at me without answering and he kissed me on the forehead.

I glanced around me and saw a girl no older than myself clinging to a rail. There were tears in her eyes as she looked to me for help. I could do nothing; she was too far out of my reach.

The ship tilted further upward and Jack said we needed to climb around. As we moved to the other side. I noticed the ships propellers were rising up out of the water. Then I watched in horror as a man lost his grip and fell striking the propeller and bouncing like a rag doll into the water.

There was a loud noise and what sounded like thunder and then all the ship's lights went out. We were in total darkness. Suddenly there was a horrible ripping noise and the ship shook violently. More people fell including the girl who had been clinging to the rail. As she fell, I closed my eyes. I could not bear to watch her and the others die. I watched frozen in fear as the ship split right in two.

During my time on Titanic, I had heard many people; Cal included boast that God himself could not sink this ship. Now it seemed as if God was answering the challenge. We were being punished for our arrogance. Water sprayed up like geysers as the back end of the ship fell and hit the ocean. For a minute it seemed that the ship had righted itself and I heard some explain that we were saved. Jack just looked and me and shook his head. Then the stern rose upright again until we were perpendicular with the water.

We bobbed on the surface like a cork and then I felt a lurch as the stern started to descend. It felt like an elevator, but this was an elevator right into the jaws of hell. The sea sat waiting to claim us. Jack shouted to me that the suction would pull us down and to hold tightly to his hand. He said on his signal to take a deep breath and hold it. He told me were going to make it and to trust him. I said I trusted him and squeezed his hand tightly.

Seconds before the stern went under, Jack shouted Now! and I inhaled and held it just as the water struck my body. I felt the pain as the freezing water knifed its way through my body and then the suction ripped my hand from Jack's and sent me spinning. I was disoriented and terrified as I fought my way to the surface again.