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Some ASKED the questions!
I remember once reading that part of the reason we overeat is because
this gives us time to focus on ourselves, time alone. I think that's
true alot of times. I know that alot of times I am really busy during
the day, having to do things for school, for family, friends, etc. If I
don't make time for myself, to just relax every day, I get very moody.
So when I have a craving and I give in to it, maybe it is a subconscious
way of reaffirming the need to have quality time (down time) for myself.
You know, I struggle with cravings alot, but I usually really like to
exercise once I get over the first few minutes because exercise is time
for yourself (even if you're in a room with other people) and I just feel
better after I exercised. It's not practical for me to say that I can
exercise when I have a craving, because I usually don't have the time to
do so. I even messed up today on my "diet" (although I don't call it
that) but I don't want to get depressed or too upset about that because
that will make me even more upset and I'll feel like shit, which will
make me not care and want to eat even more. So I'll pretend it's a new
day and I'm starting all over again. (It's got to be a new day somewhere
in the world!)
The denial cravings have big time emotions for me. I have welled up with
tears when my family has indulged with something fattening that I couldnt
have, not letting them see that I was upset but being upset just the same.
Normally this would have been met and satisfied with eating something
pleasurable in secret, then suffering even more afterward for what I had done.
>>But I personally think that the gigantic, overwhelming, painful cravings are
>>the ones that we're going to need some outside help with.
I whole heartedly agree and feel personally the need for outside help.
Sometimes I just need reminders for these types of things and that is what
is so great about this group. The great information, encouragement,
support, practical help for getting through each day is what is helping me
get way more focused in this area.
Thanks everyone for being there,
She is getting to the heart of the matter here, folks, and I'm sure we're
all waiting with baited breath to read all the answers to this one.
IMHO there are many types and shades of cravings. Different types of
cravings can be handled in different ways.
There are physiological cravings... your body is craving a specific nutrient,
water, or rest, and you misinterpret it as a craving for junk food or sugar.
There are actual hunger cravings... better feed 'em
There are emotional cravings, which all the food in the world is not going to
satisfy.
There are stress and tension cravings, which food will be able to temporarily
"fix" or alleviate, but not really solve.
There are denial cravings. This is the kind that you get when you denied
yourself something you really wanted in an act of heroism earlier, but
weren't fully happy and content with the choice to forego the treat. You
felt cheated and deprived, and it's resurfacing in a bigger nasty way.
There are all kinds of other cravings besides these. There are the gigantic
mysterious cravings which are so intense they seem to swallow you up, and it
is extremely uncomfortable, actually painful, to sit with those cravings
without giving in to them.
I believe that techniques and practical tips for dealing with cravings are
helpful for most of the types of cravings. Exercise can help with the stress
ones, calling a friend can help with the emotional ones, learning to read
one's body signals and take care of one's needs can help the physiological
ones. There are strategies to study and put into practice, if you *really*
want to conquer the craving. (Sometimes we don't want the craving to go away
because we want to be able to eat. If we overcome the craving, then we won't
get to have the cookie. So, in a sense, we want the craving to
continue.)(Kind of like the way we struggle with our virtue when we've been
passionately aroused by an amorous embrace with an inappropriate person. We
could make it easier on ourselves by stepping away from the embrace and
recollecting ourselves. It's easier to win over passion when it subsides a
little. Yet, we want to get carried away by the passion, so we can have an
excuse for having succumbed. In a similar way, our desire for the food
parallels our desire for an amorous encounter with a member of the opposite
sex. The craving = the passion. If the craving is there.... then it means
the chance to fulfill it is there.)
But I personally think that the gigantic, overwhelming, painful cravings are
the ones that we're going to need some outside help with. I think these
really monumental, unmanageable ones are the kind that indicate that
something is really empty and missing in our lives, and we've got to dig deep
to find out why these cravings are coming. I think that as long as these
type of cravings are coming, it is extraordinarily difficult, requiring an
act of courage and heroism to defeat them.
Rather than struggle with these types of cravings, I decided to go into
therapy with a woman who specializes in eating disorders. Although I've been
alternating between abusing food, and taking care of myself, as I waffle back
and forth trying to decide what I really want, I've noticed that the really
gigantic cravings.... the painful kind, have disappeared from my life. I
think this is due to making progress in my acceptance of myself.
I know she was looking for some more practical solutions to the cravings
problem (she'll probably get some phen/fen answers). Yet, I hope she doesn't
mind that I've used her as a springboard to express some of my ideas about
cravings.
She said in her reply that someone would provide some practical tips
to deal with cravings and here I am to do just that. Frances said some
very valuable things in her post so make sure to read it. As for the
practical things, here are a few tricks to try...
1) as always, drink water. Often just filling up your stomach may make the
craving disappear if it is simply a hunger/thirst craving.
2) don't deprive yourself of treats. Deprivation will lead to binges.
Plan to allow yourself the occasional treat in a proper portion size. Take
the cookie mentioned. The first thing you could have done when you
bought it was to break it in half or into quarters and throw away the
extra. I treat myself to a bagel with real cream cheese every Saturday
before my WW meeting begins (but after I weigh in). But a bagel is 4
servings of bread and I don't want to use up all those bread exchanges so
early so I only eat half of the bagel. They also put on an ice cream scoop
full of cream cheese but I scrape off all but a coating. This satisfies
me.
3) when you are going to eat a treat (by a treat I mean something you can't
have everyday) make sure you eat it slowly and really enjoy it. For
instance I have been treating myself to a WW eclair after my aerobics
classes. When I finish dinner and have done the dishes, I sit down at the
dining room table with the eclair on a plate and savor every bite, slowly
chewing, really enjoying it.
4) the next time a craving hits ask yourself why you want what you are
craving. Think about the catagories of craving Frances described and see
if you can fit the craving into one of them. If you can figure out why
you're craving someting then decide if you really need to eat it and if the
item, in a reasonable portion, can be fit into your weight loss plan.
5) exercise. Exercise really does lessen your appetite and can help work
off stress and other emotions.
6) keep a list of things to do around the house. When a craving hits grab
the list and go do one of the projects on it until the craving diminishes.
If after half an hour or so you are still hungry then have a healthy snack.
7) if you are craving sweets look for healthier alternatives. I like the
WW desserts, or low-fat or non-fat frozen yogurt, sugar-free pudding, etc.
These things may satisfy your sweet tooth without making you feel as
miserable as you did after eating the cookie.
8) practice makes perfect. Maria, think about the positive side of this
incident -- halfway through the cookie you stopped and realized you were
overeating. So in a way you dealt with your craving. You knew when to
stop. Often this can be one of the hardest things to learn. The longer
you stick with your new lifestyle the more ingrained your new eatng habits
will become, you'll give into the urges less frequently, you'll have fewer
cravings, etc.
9) if you give into your craving get right back on your program. Don't let
one craving lead to a binge.
She asked if she would have been miserable without the cookie. I doubt
you would have been as miserable as you were after you ate the cookie. The
issue though isn't the cookie. I think you might want to think about why
you would have been miserable without the cookie. Do you feel deprived, do
you feel resentful because you have to watch what you eat, what feelings
was that cookie meant to satisfy. The fact is that overweight people who
are trying to lose weight must eat differently fromthe way they did when
they were gaining weight. It can be hard to accept this but if you want to
lose weight and maintain that loss then you must change your lifestyle for
good and this includes not eating foods laden with fat, sugar, and calories
as a regular part of your lifestyle.
Pat yourself on the back for stopping to realize what you were
doing by eating the cookie. Remember that not too long ago you might have
eaten the entire cookie without a thought.
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