My life has changed so much since that day in June. I was pretty much an emotional mess during the first six weeks. But since that is past me, I can say that I have been LIVING!!! I have lost a total of 62 pounds.
Over Labor Day weekend, I was invited to go to a nightclub with a bunch of people. I have been invited with this group of people many times but never felt like I should go because I was fat and I wouldn’t have any fun. I used to do the nightclub scene quite a bit in my skinny days and just didn’t feel like “Fat Hilary” should be having fun. I decided to go. First, I had a dilemma of what to wear. I was approaching the 50-pound weight loss mark. I found a great dress and went out. I danced for 2 hours straight. It was so much fun. I realized that the people around me didn’t have the stamina that I had. It made me chuckle to myself.
I have gone through my closet once and took out the fat clothes that didn’t fit. I have since done it again. I took out ever more clothes. It seems like I can wear them for about 5 minutes and then I am out of them. Thankfully, my mother has been able to take what has left my closet.
The first weekend in October was my best friend’s birthday. A group of people was going bar-hopping. I was so excited. There was a limo and everything. First, on my list was what to wear. I found this great “little black dress” and had to try it on. Mostly I was trying it on just to see if a misses’ size (not plus size) 16 would fit me. Guess what? It did fit. I just had to buy it. My first non-plus size purchase in 10 years. I went out with the group and they were all surprised how I looked. They hadn’t seen me since Labor Day weekend and in a month I had changed to them. We ended up at this great dance club where I danced for about 4 hours straight. I think I sat down for one song. I was even more thrilled that I didn’t feel strange about sitting in the limo. Limos can be crowded and being fat would have made me feel so self-conscious. I was able to sit on the seat and people were able to sit around me.
My birthday is in October, too. Let me tell you how FANTASIC my birthday was this year. I went to Magic Mountain (the local Six Flags amusement park) and rode roller coasters. This was so thrilling for me because I had bought a season pass for the park. I got it in April and that was my last time there. I walked very slow around the park then. Anyone who has been to Magic Mountain will tell you that it IS a mountain and you have to walk up and down and all around just to get around the park. I also needed help on the rides to get the safety bars to lock. I took the assistance with a smile but deep down it hurt. I remembered how the felt back in April when I had my surgery. I told my parents not to long after I was out of surgery that when I got under 200 pounds I would reward myself with a trip to Magic Mountain. This trip was wonderful. I had stamina to walk around the park without having to take lots of breaks. I was also able to enjoy the roller coasters like I never have before. The big test was to ride the coasters that I needed help with the safety bars and be able to use them without assistance. It was wonderful.
I got to celebrate my birthday with an “old friend”. This was food. While I have never felt deprived since my surgery, there are a few things that I avoided. While I have gone out to restaurants, I prefer to stay in and enjoy cooking a bit more. I had decided that I was craving beef. My mother suggested we go to Sizzler. There was chicken on the menu so I could always get a chicken dish for dinner. I went for the gusto and got the Steak & Hibachi Chicken combo. Now, for a Fobi patient this is A LOT of food. But, the biggest challenge was the steak. I have heard how so many have problems with steak. I took each bite carefully and enjoyed it. It was just your normal kind of steak. It tasted wonderful. The chicken was great, too. I got a doggy bag and enjoyed it again later that night. I also experienced chocolate cake for the first time since my surgery. It too was wonderful.
A few days before my birthday, I experienced a day with complete joy. I needed some new clothes bad. The ones I had were falling off me (literally). I went shopping at Ross – Dress for Less and wandered to the Plus section like I always used to do. Then it occurred to me since the dress I got in the beginning of October was a misses’ 16, maybe just maybe, I could try on some 16’s and XL and see if they fit. I almost cried in the dressing room. The 16’s and XL’s fit. I will admit to doing a pretty funny dance around the dressing room. I even found a pair of pants (elastic waist at this point) that are a size 14 and they fit.
Now, with Halloween approaching, I have made my costume and I look forward to doing some celebrating in my poodle skirt. I am actually looking forward to maybe going to a party and feeling “normal”.
There are so many changes in my life that it is hard to remember what all of them are. Here is just an example:
Each day I find something from my “old” life as a fat person that creeps into my new life. Recently, it was my fanny pack that I use when I want my hands free. I pulled it out of my closet and put it around my waist. I laughed as it fell to the ground. The last time I used it was in April. Of course, that was about 62 pounds ago.
