I’ve just gotten back from a 10-day visit with Hilary. We did so many different things while I was there. Some we’ve never done before while I was there and some of the old stuff about visiting restaurants have been eliminated. While I was there I was contemplating a new career move. It is very exciting to me and I had to realize at one point that if this were 6 months ago I would never even have considered the possibility of doing something so "out there”. I don’t really want to talk about it yet until I’ve made some sort of decision, but I just want to say I’m excited about the “possibilities”.
When I flew down on the airplane I got so excited. When I sat in my seat, and pulled the seat belt across my lap, I didn’t even have to adjust it!! The person who sat there before me had adjusted it and it fit me perfectly. I’d say there was about 5 inches or so pulled out. These are very simple things, but to a fat person it’s the stuff we live with every day. While I was there Hilary and I went to the movies. We just sat there giggling about how well we fit in the seats, with the arms in the down position, not having our thighs pushing each other. Then on the way home some jerky guy sat in the middle seat on the plane. He took both my armrest and the one on the other side. He wasn’t fat at all, but I remembered how if I’d ever sat there, I always crossed my arms on my chest, so as not to be rude and take up more than my fair share of room. ONLY a fat person would think that way, we’re always so careful. This guy was a real ass, showing up late, leaning over the seat to talk to his girlfriend behind him. Rude comes in all sizes, but mostly it’s people who weigh normal weight. Fat people are just trying to fit in.
I’ve recently started working on the book I mentioned earlier. It’s been eye-opening for me to think about some of these things. I feel like when I had the surgery I climbed in to a swift moving river. It just keeps moving me along toward the inevitable “goal weight”. When I try to think about where it was at the beginning, or things that happened around the time of the surgery, it just seems like “that was way way upriver” I almost can’t remember it anymore. It’s been an interesting mental exercise.
Hilary and I have recently started liquidating things on eBay. We’re saving for a trip to Florida when we’ve gotten enough money. It’s been wonderful in that it forces us not to buy anything more. BELIEVE ME when I tell you it would be easy to replace your obsession with food for shopping, or any number of other things that are not healthy. I really feel like we’ve begun this while “lightening up” process. I only wish I’d known about selling my plus size clothing before I gave them all away. By the way the bags we took to the “Closet” at Dr. Fobi’s were Hilary’s things. Mine were in Northern California and I just donated them. A few days later I realized that women were selling theirs on eBay. Oh well, I’ve already started collecting more to sell. The real trick with eBay is to not BUY anything, just sell. Anyway, we’ve already made over $700 and barely scratched the surface. Florida look out, we’re coming your way! I can’t wait, considering the last time we were there I weighed about 60 pounds more than I weigh right now. It’s hard to do much walking when you’re that big, not to mention fitting on the rides and if we go on a cruise the way I think we’re planning… well we don’t even want to think about bathing suits and tiny cabins on the cruise ship.
However, the one thing that is now wonderful is BUFFETS. I just love ‘em. I get to take my time, and sample lots of stuff, a little of this a little of that. Then I just stop for awhile and let the pouch empty and wander around and look at the stuff some more and get a little of this… well you get the idea. I just love that I don’t have to fuss about the portion size, or have the waitress wonder why I didn’t eat very well, or feel bad that I’m tying up a table if we’re not fast enough. This way it’s leisurely and I’m getting to try loads of different things. Cooking is so much different now, I’m still having to work on not cooking too much. So a buffet allows me the luxury of trying loads of different things without having to cook them. I just enjoy the way things taste so much more than before. Hilary says I still eat too fast, but I’m working on it.
So, that gives you a little idea of how things are going for me. When I wake up every morning I just have that first moment of reminding myself that I’m going never going to be an overweight person again. My life is forever changed and I am grateful beyond words.
