Gabi's Anxiety/Panic and Agoraphobia Page

Assertiveness Bill of Rights

1. You have the right to be the judge of your own behavior, thoughts and emotions, and to take responsibility for them.

2. You have the right to give no reasons or excuses for your behavior.

3. You have the right to decide whether you are responsible for other peoples problems.

4. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

5. You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.

6. You have the right to change your mind.

7. You have the right to say, "I don't know".

8. You have the right to say, "I don't care".

9. You have the right to say, "I don't understand".

10. You have the right to say, "No".

11. You have the right to express how you feel.

12. You have the right to ask for what you want.

Eleven Rules for being human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error-experimentation. The failed experiments are as much apart of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.
4. A lessons is repeated until learned. A lessons will be present to you in various forms until you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here". When you're "there" becomes a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than the "here".
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have the tools and resources that you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside of you. The answers to life's questions lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.
10. You will forget all this.
11. You can remember it whenever you want.

Human Rights and Responsibilities (These rights may provide a basic framework for each individual's healthy part in any human relationship

1. The right to be treated with respect (recognizing your responsibility to treat the other with respect).

2. The right to have and to express your own feelings and opinions (recognizing your responsibility to allow the other to express feelings and opinions).

3. The right to be listened to and taken seriously (recognizing your responsibility to listen to and take others seriously).

4. The right to set your own priorities and to choose your own opportunities (recognizing your responsibility To allow others to set their own priorities and opportunities).

5. The right to say no without feeling guilty (recognizing your responsibility to allow the other to say no).

6. The right to ask rof what you want (recognizing your responsibility to allow the others the right to refuse).

7. The right to get what you pay for (recognizing your responsibility to treat the other with respect).

8. The right to ask for information from anyone (recognizing your responsibility to allow the other the right not to give that information).

9. The right to make mistakes (recognizing your responsibility to accept the consequences of those mistakes).

10. The right to choose not to assert yourself (recognizing your responsibility to allow the other not to assert also).

Accepting who I am

I'm OK just the way I am. I am lovable and capable. I am an important person. I'm already a worthy person; I don't have to prove myself. My feelings and needs are important. I deserve to be supported by those who care about me. I deserve to feel free and safe. I'm strong enough to handle whatever comes along.

Accept Me (Poem)

Accept me for what I am, appreciate me as myself. I am not perfect, it doesn't worry me. I have many failings, but I am unique, a one of a kind me, and that is something to be proud of. I can change. Let me do the changing though, for I will be responsible for the mistakes I make, and the accomplishments I achieve. I want to be the way I am, that is my decision, and if you don't see that, then don't blind me with what You think I should be, for I am me and nothing else.

Another Poem

There is inside of you all of the potential to be, whatever you want to be--, all of the energy to do, whatever you want to do. Imagine yourself as you would like to be, doing what you want to do, and each day, take one step towards your dream. And though at times it may seem too difficult to continue, hold on to your dream.

What to do if a Family Member has an Anxiety Disorder

1. Don't make assumptions about what the affected person needs; ask them.
2. Be predictable; don't surprise them.
3. Let the person with the disorder set the pace for recovery
4. Find something positive in every experience. If the affected person is only able to go partway to a particular goal, such as a movie theater or party, consider that an achievement rather than a failure.
5. Don't enable avoidance: negotiate with the person with panic disorder to take one step forward when he or she wants to avoid something.
6. Don't sacrifice your own life and build resentments.
7. Don't panic when the person with the disorder panics.
8. Remember that is's all right to be anxieous yourself;it's natural for you to be concerned and even worried about the person with panic disorder.
9. Be patient and and accepting, but don't settle for the affected person being permanently disabled.
10.Say:"You can do it no matter how you feel. I am proud of you. Tell me what you need now. Breathe slow and low. Stay in the present. It's not the place that's bothering you, it's the thought. I know that what you are feeling is painful, but it's not dangerous. You are courageous."
Don't say:Relax. Calm down. Don't be anxious. Let's see if you can do this (i.e., setting up a test for the affected person). You can fight this. What should we do next? Don't be ridiculous. You have to stay. Don't be a coward."

TEN COMMANDMENTS TO REMEMBER DURING A PANIC ATTACK

1.) It does not matter if you feel frightened, bewildered, unreal or unsteady. These feelings are nothing more than an exaggeration of the normal bodily reactions to stress.

2.) Just because you have these sensations does not mean you are very sick. These feelings are just unpleasant and frightening, not dangerous. Nothing worse will happen to you.

3.) Let your feelings come. They have been in charge of you, you have been pumping them up and making them acute. Stop pumping. Do not turn away from panic. When you feel the panic mount, take a deep breath and, as you breath out, let go. Keep trying. Stay there almost as if you were floating in space. Do not fight the feeling of panic. Accept it. You can do it.

4.) Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible without escaping. If you are in a street, lean against a post or store wall. If you are at the cosmetics dept. store find a quieter counter or corner. If you are in a boutique, tell the salesperson you do not feel well and want to sit for awhile. DO NOT jump into your car and go home in fear.

5.) Stop adding to your panic with frightening thoughts about what is happening and where it might lead. Do not indulge in self pity and think,"Why can't I be like all the other normal people? Why do I have to go through all this?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this,what you fear most will not happen.

6.)Think about what is really happening to your body at this moment. DO not think,"Something terrible is going to happen. I must get out." Repeat to yourself " I will not fall, faint, die or loose control."

7.)Now wait and give the fear time to pass. Do not run away. Others have found the strength. YOU WILL TOO. Notice that you stop adding the frightening thoughts to your panic, the fear starts to fade away by itself.

8.) This is your opportunity to practice. Think of it that way. Even if you feel isolated in space, one of these days you will not feel that way. Sometime soon, you will be able to go through the panic and say " I DID IT", Once you say this, you will have gone a long way towards conquering fear. Think about the progess you will have made. YOU ARE IN THE SITUATION!!!

9.) Try to distract yourself from what is going on inside you. Look at your surroundings. See the other people on the street , in the bus whereveryou are. They are with you not against you.

10.) When the panic subsides, let your body go loose, take a deep breath, and go on with your day. Remember, each time you cope with panic, you reduce your fear.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page