Astrology - Is there really something to it?

What is your Zodiac Sign

COMMENTS: Date format: "January 1, 1997" This only works with the current year, not the birthyear.



Look at the Moon!


Who you were in your last past life?

To know the answer - just type in the DAY, MONTH, and YEAR you were born in PRESENT life.

For example:
October 16, 1955 would be entered as - Day:16 Month:10 Year:55


Day:    Month:   Year: 

Attention! This esoteric algorythm is composed for our contemporaries - people born after 1922. Earlier birthdates may be processed with errors or not processed at all.


SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC

  • AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.
  • PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser.
  • ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
  • TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.
  • GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
  • CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.
  • LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors.
  • VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
  • LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.
  • SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered.
  • SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day.
  • CAPRICORN (Dec22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.


    Links to Astrology Sites

    Astrology Online
    Zodia Signs
    Dream Central
    Palmreading


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