Do you know this? I did not know this.

Did you learn this? I did not learn this.

Will you remember this? I may not remember this.

[ From Parent's Handbook ]

Pesan saya: mungkin sumbangan artikel ini tidak dapat di applikasi seluruh nya, atau sebagian karena Indonesia mempunyai kultur sendiri, seperti
anak dirawat oleh suster atau PRT sebagian besar waktu. Namun di US, atau juga di Australia, setidaknya di SF deh yah, kebanyakan orang tua merawat anaknya sendiri, Ratna dan saya merawat anak sendiri, dua anak pertama, kita titipkan juga ke Day Care. Rasanya? Wah, sediiiih banget, namun gimana lagi?

Had I known about this class, I would have taken it long time ago before we
had our first kid.

Chapter One - Understanding yourself and your child.
At this chapter we learn:
* Your parenting challenge is to raise a confident, responsible child.
* Your job is to guide - not to punish or do everything for your child.
* You can expect your child to cooperate.
* Your child's behavior always has a purpose.
* Your family can work, play, and grow together.

What Style of Parenting will help me meet my goals?
Giving orders (authoritarian): this style sets unreasonable limits.
It gives children little or no freedom.
Giving in (permissive): This style gives children lots of freedom but no limits.
Giving Choices: With this style, parents help children learn a balance between freedom and limits.

Chapter Two - Understanding Beliefs and Feelings.
At this chapter we learn:
* The way to improve a child's behavior is to change your approach.
* Your child has beliefs about how to belong.
* Your child's feelings and actions come from these beliefs.
* You have feelings and beliefs too.
* You can change your feelings and beliefs so that you can help your child.

What can I do when my child misbehaves?
Do parents cause children to misbehave? No. Our children choose the
way they behave. We may reinforce the misbehavior by responding the way our children expect. By changing our responses by doing the unexpected, our children won't reach their negative goals.
If we respond as our children expect us to, they are on the way to
reaching their negative goals. Our responses help them get there. But if we
respond differently, we can send a completely different message. We can let them know by our words and actions that we choose not to support their
misbehavior. In this way, over time, we can help them choose positive goals
and positive behavior. This won't happen overnight.

Why do children become discouraged?
You have seen that children who misbehave are discouraged. Why do
children become discouraged? Two things that affect how children decide to
belong are beliefs and feelings.
Children's faulty beliefs:
* Attention: "I belong only by being noticed-even if that makes problems for dad or mom."
* Power:"I belong only by being the boss-even if that leads to a fight. If I can get mom or dad to fight with me, I have power"
* Revenge:"I am not lovable. I belong only by hurting dad or mom. I want them to feel as hurt as I do."
* Display of Inadequacy:"I belong by convincing mom or dad that I can't do things. In fact, when I try to do something and fail, I don't belong."

Each of the beliefs of the goals of misbehavior has a flip side-a positive
belief that can lead to better behavior.
Involvement: "I want to be a part of things. Please help me learn to contribute."
Independence: "I want to be independent. Please give me choices so I can
learn to be responsible."
Fairnes: "I want things to be fair. Please help me learn to cooperate."
Being competent: "I need time to think by myself. I want to succeed. Please
help me learn to trust myself."

We, as parents, should turn those faulty beliefs into the flip side positive belief:
Attention - Involvement
Power - Independence
Revenge - Fairness
Display of Inadequacy - Being Competent

[Sumbangan Artikel didapat dari The Parent's handbook karangan Don Dinkmeyer, Sr; Gary D. Mckay; Don Dinkmeyer, Jr].

Catatan Pinggir: Apa Jozef tau ini? NOOOO ! Namun sekarang tau, sebab mulai belajar. Buku ini bisa didapat dengan order di internet juga (kalo tidak salah: amazon dot com) Ada beberapa lagi topic dichapter pertama ini, namun belum sempat di ketik semua, maklum sibuk. Tiga anak, man. Terserah editor kalo mau muat langsung atau tunggu sampe saya complete isi topic chapter one. Mungkin agak lama, jadi silahkan klik edit paste deh, kalo ndak sabar untuk memuatnya. Nanti gampang saya tambahkan lagi.