Does your
boss make you sick? |
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IV. What can it (employee
abuse) do to my body?
Your abusive
boss can kill you.
Everybody has
a "stress balloon" that will pop if it is inflated with more stress than
that person's unique mind and body can handle. Every problem and change
(good or bad) "blows" stress into that balloon. The stress will either
seep out over time or can be released with such de-stressors as laughter,
rest, recreation, rewarding relationships, and therapy. But, when the balloon
becomes over-inflated, the rubber stretches and becomes thinner, and less
resistant to things that make balloons pop. Eventually the rubber becomes
so weak it breaks or a wee incident pops it.
Normal levels
of stress are enough to keep your stress balloon inflated. Then your boss
blows in more stress every time he messes with your head. If the abusive
incidents occur too often or are too intense, and more stress is forced
in than that can seep out or than you can release, your immunity system
becomes thin and weak. You become susceptible to everything from flu viruses
to cancer, and eventually your head may "pop". The clinical term for it
is "depression".
When your balloon
gets stretched tight, you become uptight, and your mind looks for escapes--places
to hide. Some people hide in booze; others hide in bed. The ultimate hiding
place is permanent sleep: suicide. (I was not being melodramatic when I
said your abusive boss can kill you.)
Stress and depression
cause physical symptoms that tell us something is wrong, often before we
realize our minds are being affected, and it's important to pay attention
to them.
IMPORTANT: Consult your doctor
before assuming physical symptoms are caused only by stress and will go
away when the stress does, because they may also indicate serious illness.
This is especially important when you are over stressed and susceptible
to physical illness. Even when your diagnosis is stress or depression,
your doctor can prescribe non addictive medicines that will help with such
problems as sleeplessness, diarrhea or constipation, and pain, as well
as an antidepressant to help your mind function until you recover. |
For people who
have chronic conditions such as asthma, arthritis, irritable bowel syndrome,
heart disease, and back pain, the first signs of over stress are usually
an increase in the number and/or intensity of attacks or pain. (Do report
the changes to your doctor and get medical treatment!)
For instance,
I have a humungous (my doctor's word) herniated disk that only hurts when
I'm stressed. During the last few months before I left my abusive employer,
the pain was so intense that my right leg kind of dragged, even though
I was taking 8-mg. doses of Ibuprofen. About two months after I quit, I
was pain free.
However, I filed
a lawsuit against my former employer, so I've had to spend a lot of time
recalling the abusive incidents in detail, which made my leg hurt. Three
days before a 2½-day hearing, it started to ache, and it hurt so
much during the hearing that I could hardly take all the sitting. After
about three days the pain was gone.
Below is a list
of physical symptoms that commonly accompany stress, which gives you a
pretty good idea of what the stress of mental abuse can do to your body.
More important, if you have symptoms like these and there is no physical
cause, your body is telling you something's awry in your head and you probably
ought to get some professional help.
Do not try to
measure your stress or estimate how close you are to serious depression
by the seriousness of any symptoms. Mental health providers factor in such
things as other stressors in your life, and yours and your family's physical
and mental health history before they even make educated guesses about
how stressed or depressed their patients are.
These are some
common symptoms of stress and depression:
-
increased pain or attacks associated
with chronic health problems
-
sleeping too much or too little
-
diarrhea or constipation
-
loss of appetite or eating too
much
-
nausea
-
heartburn or stomach aches
-
shaking or quivering
-
paranoia
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-
panic attacks
-
frequent crying or wishing you
could cry
-
have trouble leaving home, even
for fun
-
loss of interest in activities
you used to enjoy
-
low energy
-
low motivation
-
loss of interest in grooming
-
trouble concentrating
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The sooner you get
help for stress, the better your chances for recovering quickly and completely,
and avoiding serious depression. If you are experiencing physical problems
and your doctor rules out physical causes, don't assume you have to just
put up with them because "it's all in your head." A good mental health
pro can successfully treat what's in your head.
If your abuser
is making you sick, see a pro who can help you get well. If you don't,
you are helping your abuser turn you into a submissive victim he can control.
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