My name is Gracie. I am 31 and I have Arthritis in my back, hands and knees. And despite the above picture, I am not, in fact, an Oompa-Loompa. ;-p

I have also been given a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Disc Disease. I am currently (and happily, I might add) enjoying a fullbown episode of wild denial. :)

At first, people told me "ya gotta face it, Gracie. Denial isn't good. Get to know your pain, make friends with it (huh!?), it's the only way to live with your conditions." I believed them at first. I went out and bought every book written on most of my conditions. I searched the 'Net, met others 'like me', and became "GRACIEIHAVEFIBROMYALGIA" After nearly two years with these diagnoses, I now beg to differ with those that say denial is awful. Nope, not so. For the first 6 or 7 months, I faced my illnesses daily. And I was not only miserable, but so were those around me. I had no hope and could only think "Oh my god. This isn't fair!! I'm 27!! What on earth is the rest of my life going to be like??". I still have days like that, but I have decided that a healthy dose of denial was the best prescription I could get.

Hear me out. When you have to have surgery, you KNOW there is a chance that you could die. yep, there really is...you didn't know?? Now, if you only focused on the risk of death, you might never go through with the necessary surgery. So you just push the scary thoughts out of your mind as best you can and do whatcha gotta do. This is how I approach my illnesses.

I spent the better part of that first year ticked off at the universe. I was 27 when I became ill. I had LOTS more stuff I wanted to do. Stuff that I kept putting off, cause "I have the rest of my life to (insert activity here)". I can no longer do many of the things I loved to, let alone the things that I said I would try someday even though they scared the bejeebers outta me. (read: sky-diving. Now i can say "well...i was GONNA, but....").

So. After grieving the things that I won't be able to do, and generally feeling sorry for myself, I have now done (and am about to say) the words that made me so angry less than a year ago: "I GOT OVER IT"

Here's my point. I have these illnesses, yes. No getting around them. They are visible on an X-ray and the billions of pints of blood they took from me (i have 4 drops left) show it too. These are facts. I have had to stop working, I am staying with my parents (oh the HUMANITY!!!!) while waiting to hear a big fat "NO" from social security disability. I have accepted the diagnoses, I have learned how to say 'no' to some activities so that I can say 'yes' to others. I know all about my body and what it can and can't do. Beyond that, I refuse to live as a victim. These illnesses are something I "HAVE" they are NOT who I am.

Moral to my frothing: If you don't incorporate a little healthy denial into your daily life, and push yourself a little bit (read it again: a LITTLE bit, nothin' drastic now, i don't wanna get angry viewer mail) you will never know exactly what you are able to accomplish. And you will spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself and never accomplishing a darned thing.

**NEW** Care to read an update on the joy that is me? Well of course you do!! Folllllow me.

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