(July 1st 2003)

I haven't updated this in a long time. I will try and fill in what has been going on in my life the best as I can remember. I have not been sick where I have had to go to the hospital and stay for over 2 yrs. I am contributing that to being mostly a hermit. Also having fish tanks which keeps moisture in the air. I haven't discussed this with my doctor yet. So I am not sure if this is a reason why I haven't been in the hospital. I have been sick, actually alot of times. But mostly been too stubborn to go to the hospital. I usually just call the doctor and he bursts my prednisone and gives me samples of antibiotics. Sometimes it helps and sometimes I have to go in and see him. 1 time he even sent me to the hospital on a stretcher but I managed to not have to stay.
The fibromyalgia is getting bad and I sleep alot. I have a choice I suppose of sleeping or taking pain pills that make me loopy. For awhile I have had bad belly pains and now am told I need my gallbladder out. I went to 3 doctors that thought with all the health problems I have, maybe I need that surgery called gastric bypass. I read up on it and after long hard consideration I have chosen not to have that. They said they could do both at the same time. But I was told there is a waiting list and lots of tests. I am just so tired of tests. I also have written to people that have had it done and they wouldn't go through it again. People do it for weight loss. alot of people just because its a new thing and want to shed 20, 30 lbs and don't have to exercise. My doctor wants me to have it because since I have been sick. I cant lose weight and alot of it is because of still being on prednisone and now possibly because my gall bladder is bad. Even if I were to have the gastric bypass surgery doesn't mean I will lose weight and doesn't mean the prednisone will let me keep it off. With this lung problems I have its hard to get around alot. In the summer I am miserable with allergies. I had surgery on my leg to lengthen an Achilles heel but because the other one wasn't done, it didn't work well. I need the other one done and then aggressive therapy on both. Ummmm anyways I go for testing on July 8th and if all goes well with that I will have my gall bladder out on the 15th of July

I have been having female problems as u have read in the past months. Now they don't know what exactly is going on. I had abnormal bleeding for 2 mths. I had an ultrasound, biopsy and they both showed abnormalities. I was told I had hyperplasia(thickening of the uterus. I was told I needed a d&c to still rule out cancer. So I went and had one done. There was no cancer. I was told that we could wait and see what happens. If a period starts then ok. If not I would be given a medication like birth control to help it start. The doctor was still uncertain what was going on. The blood tests were strange. 1 would read that I was in menopause or past menopause. The others showed my ovaries were functioning again. But through all these tests and such. I still don't know if I can have kids.

(Feb 11,2004)


Haven't written in here for a long while. Been going to doctors regularly. More than I want too. I had my gall bladder out. But it seems my stomach problems are still there. I was to have a upper GI but I cancelled it twice. I have grown to have a phobia of doctors. I stopped seeing my shrink. I get to the day of going and I get so sick. Guess I am afraid I will be told something else is wrong with me. Me and my ex bf have decided to try again. I am happy about this. Seeing we broke up because it was my fault. Nothing much else is going on. Its cold here and I am tired of winter. My breathing has been bad lately. Sleeping alot. And just trying to deal with it all.