Pavaratti, NO! Beethoven, UH-UHH! Pearl
Jam, Not Even Close!
Zachariah is the most entertaining
musical talent ever. Many bands say its about the music. Well, with
us, we don't sing or play instruments, and what the hell is it anyway!
THIS IS ZACHARIAH
One day Adam and Rich were
watching their favorite TV show, Sabado Gigante with special guest Cookie
Rojas and those Spanish girls with large round hips, big bouncy breasts
and even bigger IQs when the idea began to take shape.
"Why don't we become contestants
on America's #1 Spanish gameshow?", Rich said.
"No Dumbass, we should become
hosts of America's #1 Spanish gameshow!", Adam corrected.
"Arf Arf" Adam's dog Zack chimed
in.
"You know Adam, Zack is right,
We should start a band and name it after him.", Rich said.
"There is only one problem,"
said Adam, "and that is that we don't know how to play any instruments."
"Arf Arf"
"Zack's right again. Look at
Wayne Newton, Milli Vanilli, and Puff Daddy." said Rich.
And that is how Zachariah got
started. No instruments, no talent, and one dumb but fun idea.
The Rules Of Zachariah
-
No member can have true musical talent.
-
No member can remember how to spell
Zachariah without looking it up.
-
No member can hold a job in a management
position.
-
You must give all existing members
lots of money, or just give Rich a beer or something, and you could say
you're in the band too.
THIS IS ZACHARIAH
The Talentless
Adam-Washboard
get more
info on Adam
Adam went solo and took his
show on the road to various places like Andrews Air Force Base in Texas
and Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. Still an active member of Zachariah, Adam brings
a new dimension to the group that is similar to the Village People. He
is a man in uniforn with no musical talent.
Rich-Spoons
get more
info on Rich
Rich, alone and scared, brought
Bill-Voice Guitar
get more
info on Bill
Bill into the mix. It didn't
hurt that Bill has a computer that makes cool graphics and this awesome
web page.
Greg-Armpits
get more
info on Greg
Greg said the idea of a make
believe band was dumb, stupid, and childish, but didn't want to be left
out,
Lou-Glockenspiel
get more
info on Lou
and Lou gave Rich a beer, so
he is in.
And as for Zack, Adam's
dog, well, he's DEAD.
STENO BUM TOUR 98
January 1................Rich's Apartment-Jamaica
February 14............Greg's Couch-Harry's
Place
March 17..................................Any
Bar
July 4....................Lou's Trailer-Wurtsboro
October 31.............Bill's Garage-Mom
and Dads
December 25.............The Rose Bowl-Pasedena
CA
December 31..........Adam's Barracks-Honolulu,
HA
Where did we get "Steno Bum
from? Well, it comes from Rocky 3. Paulie messes up a line where he was
supposed to call someone a "Sterno Bum". You know those cans that you light
on fire to keep food warm. Instead Paulie says "Steno Bum". Well our manager
Ron D. 
never
misses an opportunity to use a good line, so he started using it to describe
the unemployed(which was us at the time). Actually Ron's slogan was "Sten".
For example,"Hey Rich, You Sten, Why don't you get a job?" See where I
am going with this. Well eventually we needed a tour name and the one that
fit best was "Sten". It didn't sound right so we went back to the original
"steno". Phew! Now that's the story.
Security for all Zachariah
Events has been supplied by our security force which consists of one man.
The infamous Slim.
Now would you mess with this
guy...
If you want to join the Zachariah
Fan Club Fill out
or E-mail us at brps@frontiernet.net
