**************************************

Dawson picked up the next story while Jen looked up at the clock.

Jen: Uh oh. Guys look what time it is!

None of them bothered to.

Pacey: Jen, stop worring! We have plenty of time.

Jen looked at the clock in a panic, but then started to read the story with the rest of the gang.

***************************************

Dream On
A Parody
By: Melissa and Tammy

Pacey sat in the middle of his science class, bored to death. He hated
his life. It really sucked. His family hated him, and girls ran away
from him ever since they heard a teacher legally raped him.

Dawson: That usualy does put a damper in a sex life.

His relationships with his friends were the worst. Although Dawson was his
best friend, the guy annoyed him. He had two hot girls after him, but he
remained oblivious. Pacey was convinced that Dawson was either gay

Dawson: Damn it! Not again!

or retarded. (His collie dog haircut showed how stupid he was.)

Dawson: Hey! It just so happens that some women think my hair is nice.

Pacey: Your mom doesn't count man.

The teacher interrupted his thoughts. “Class, we have a new student.
Her name is Alyssa.” The teacher glanced down at her roll sheet. “You
can sit by Pacey Witter. Pacey, raise your hand.”

“Hi, I’m Alyssa,” she introduced herself after she settled in.

“Pacey Witter.” They shook hands.

Then out of the blue, she asked, “Want to go to the community college
frat party with me tonight?”

Dumbfounded, he nodded. The bell rang. She handed him a piece a paper
with her phone number on it.

“Call me after school and we can hook up.” Alyssa left to go to class.

“Wait, are you a cheerleader?” Pacey called after her. She didn’t
answer. Oh, well. Pacey might as well go out with her anyway, even if
she wasn’t one. At least she was cute and blond.

Joey: Now there's a reason to date someone. She probably has the I.Q. of  wet mop.

Pacey: She can't be to stupid. After all, she asked me out. Smart move.


~At the Party~

Alyssa led the slightly drunk Pacey to an empty dorm room, away from
the noisy party. He collapsed on the bed. Alyssa lay down next to him.
She ran her hands up and down his chest.

“Pacey, do you like me?” she asked.

“Sure, I like you. You’re very nice,” he replied.

She smiled. “I think I’ll be even nicer to you.” She stood up and
started to unbutton the front of her dress.

Pacey: Yeah! This is my kinda story!

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Jen: Well, Pacey. If you really need us to explain..........

She didn’t answer. “Are you hot? If you are, I can get you something cold to drink.”

“Pacey, you are so funny,” she laughed. Her dress was partially
unbuttoned, so Pacey could see how she lifted and separated.

“Alyssa, I want to take it slow. How about we just talk for awhile?”

“Sure. I bet a hot guy like you has a girlfriend, right?”

Pacey: Good assumtion.

“No. Not that I haven’t bagged my fair share of women, but…” his voice
trailed off. “I just don’t like being tied down, you know?”

Pacey: Well, actually.......

“I don’t know. You might want to try it sometime,” she winked. Pacey
started to squirm. Alyssa leaned over and kissed him.

“Uh, Alyssa, what are you trying to do?”

“You.” She put her hand on his fly.

He pushed her away, so hard that she fell on to the ground. “Dammit,”
he cried. “Don’t you know no means no?”

Joey: That from the boy, and I emphasize boy,  who slept with his over the hill english teacher.

Two frat brother burst in on the not-so-happy couple. They saw Alyssa
lying on the floor and assessed the situation. They immediately kicked
Pacey out.

Pacey walked home, tired and confused. Why had he rejected Alyssa? A
beautiful woman was throwing herself at him, but he had pushed her away.
After all, he was not one to turn down free hooch.

Pacey: Of course not.

~Pacey’s House~

He wearily climbed the stairs and went into his room. He pulled back
the sheets and let out a girly scream.

Pacey: I, do not scream like a girl.

Joey was in his bed, wearing nothing but his Mighty Ducks shirt.

Pacey: Those ducks have been very good to me.......

“Jo! What the hell are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?” she asked nonchalantly. “I sleep with Dawson all
the time, why not you?”

Jen: Yup. That was nonchalant, alright.

She started to run her hands up and down his
chest.

“Yeah, I know. I think you should go –” Joey grabbed his head and
kissed him.

“Be my first, Pacey,” she pleaded.

“I don’t think so. Not that you’re not gorgeous and not that I don’t
want to. Wait, I don’t have a good reason. I just can’t.”

“Fine,” she pouted. Hurt and rejected, she stomped out of the house.

“Joey! You forgot your underwear!” he yelled out the window.

Dawson: So, she's walking around in a crappy movie T-shirt.

Pacey:Hey! Don't diss the ducks!

“Bite me.”

Pacey was angry at her negative attitude. “You better give me back
that shirt! If you keep it, you might curse Emilio Estevez, and he’ll
never do good movie again!”

Jen: When did he do a good one?

~Jen’s House~

Pacey waited outside impatiently. Normally he didn’t give rides to
school, but Jen had called him unexpectedly after Joey left and asked.
How could he refuse?

He honked on the horn. Jen’s face appeared briefly in the window. “I’m
running late. Why don’t you come inside and wait?”

“Okay.” He tried the front door, and guess what, it was unlocked. He
waited in the living room. “Jen? Ready yet?”

“Right here.” Jen stood at the top of the stairs, wearing nothing but
a short, silk bathrobe. She walked down the stairs slowly.

“Jen,” Pacey breathed.

Dawson: Good deduction Pace. You're sharp today.

Pacey: Very funny. And how may times do I have to tell you not to call me Pace. It makes me sound like salsa.

“Hi, Pacey,” she smiled. “Ready to unwrap your present?”

Pacey: Merry Christmas to me!

She touched the sash on her bathrobe invitingly.

Pacey tried to back away, but he ended up falling on his butt. This
encouraged Jen further. “We can’t do this,” he protested.

“Why not?” she moved his hand to her hip.

“I can’t. I mean, you’re turning me on, and damn, you look incredible,
but I can’t. I have to go.” He ran out the door.

Jen watched him go. “That bitch Joey must have gotten to him first.”

Joey: You can have him!

~Pacey’s House~

Pacey ran upstairs, as if he was being chased. He locked himself in the
bathroom. He turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face.

“What’s wrong with me?” he wondered. In the last twenty-four hours,
three girls had begged him for sex. But he kept on rejecting them. Why?

Dawson: Because you're an idiot. That's why.
He didn’t even know himself.

Pacey looked at himself more closely in the mirror. His hair was growing
long in the front, in wavy curls. They looked almost like Dawson’s.

Dawson: Well, it's about time you got a decent hair style. You've had that Julius Caeser one forever.

“That’s it! That’s why I’ve been so oblivious! That’s why I’ve been
rejecting hot girls! I’m turning into Dawson.”

Dawson: Is that such a bad thing?

He grinned, happy he solved that mystery. Then he realized what being Dawson Leery would be
like. The thought was enough to wipe the smile off his face.

“Why me, God? Why?” he cried. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Joey: I don't know. But probably for the same reasons that we do.

He couldn’t
live as Dawson. He’d rather die. Now there was an idea…


News Report: Local Boy Commits Suicide
Pacey Witter, 16 was found in his home, dead. The autopsy showed he had
slit his wrists, swallowed a gallon of Liquid Drain-O, and then laid
face down in a bathtub full of water. He left no suicide note, we all
think it’s pretty obvious he REALLY did not want to live.

Pacey: No really?

****************************

Pacey: I didn't like that one.

Dawson: I wasn't even in that one.

Joey: I do not like any story where I through myself at Pacey.

Jen: Neither do I.

************************

Jen: You know guys you really should look at the clock.

Joey, Pacey, Dawson: Oh, fine.

They all looked up and saw the same thing Jen did. The clock had an unfortunate message.

Dawson: Oh My God! It's almost 5 o'clock!

Pacey: Yeah! We get to go home! Time to get away from this hell!

Joey: Pacey, you moron! Look at the pile of stories! We've hardly made a dent!

Pacey: So, what! What is Tringle gonna do! Keep us here forever?

All four of them looked at each other. There attention turned to the door as the knob slowly began to turn.........

                     To be continued................

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