Finding Out October 8 seemed like the perfect day. Work wasn't too hectic and the weather was great. Driving home I was thinking about Lee and wondering how his trip was going. It was strange, because on Sunday, the day after he left, I had this overwhelming feeling of missing him. I even told my husband about it and how silly I was being, that I would see Lee in less than two weeks. I figured I was feeling this way because I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. As soon as I entered the house my husband Mike walked toward me and put his arms around me. I immediately knew something was wrong and I looked over his shoulder and saw my dog. I knew it wasn’t her and I started thinking that the cat had died. Whatever it was, in those few seconds I knew it was very bad and I knew it had to do with death. Then he started saying it was Lee, that he had a heart attack on the beach and that he didn’t make it. I remember saying something about a mistake being made, that Lee was probably in the hospital. I kept asking him if he was sure a mistake hadn’t been made. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to believe it. I know I was crying, but I wasn’t hysterical. I kept thinking how impossible this was. Lee is 6’2" and only 165 pounds - he was tall and lean, not overweight at all. I remember thinking how young he was, how young I was. I started thinking about our brother Rick who was only three years older than Lee and I, how God couldn’t do this to us again. He couldn’t take two of my brothers in such a short time, especially Lee, not my twin brother. What was I going to do without him, it must be a mistake, it had to be a mistake. I went upstairs where my son Sean was, but he was very quiet and you could see he didn't want to talk about it. I went to my room and changed my clothes and actually started to rationalize that a mistake had been made, that I needed to get downstairs and call the Windjammer people and find out what was going on, what hospital he was in. I went downstairs, but my husband was on the phone. At that moment two of Sean’s friends came into the house asking where he was and joking around. All of a sudden I blurted out that Lee was dead. They thought I was kidding until I started becoming hysterical saying Lee’s dead, he’s dead, he died on the beach. I was really hysterical now and one of the boys put his arms around me and I was just sobbing at that point. It was really hitting me now. I knew nobody would be that cruel to call and lie about something like this.
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