How Does It Feel?

What do I go through during a panic attack - well, every attack is different, but they all share common things. First and foremost, I always think each one is "different" and "worse" than any I've ever had before, even though I know afterwards that they were just the same. And I have different levels of attacks.

Generally speaking, I go through every moment of my life having a "mini panic attack", sometimes I get a "panic attack" and sometimes even more rarely I get a "full blown panic attack". On this scale - the WORST are the "MONSTER attacks." I'll describe what I go through with each one.

Please note, though, that I use Xanax (alprazolam), which is a benzodiazapine, to help me through my panic attacks. I know many of you don't use medicine, but I have found that it is the best thing to eradicate the symptoms quickly.

MINI PANIC ATTACKS
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Like I said - I deal with this my whole waking life. Fortunately panic attacks don't wake me up at night or I'm sure I'd be having these then, too. This is the constant edginess - I'm jumpy, easily startled, my muscles are tensed, I worry about everything from seeing those floaty things in my eyes to why there's so much hair in my hairbrush (is it falling out!!!). If I move to quickly I get nauseous. The television being on too loud makes me even more anxious, and it's hard for me to focus or concentrate on any one thing. I hold my hands tightly clenched. My eyes get wider and I ONLY breathe through my nose right before the attack moves into the next stage - regular panic attack.

PANIC ATTACKS

This is at the level where a xanax makes it go away. The symptoms are not being able to sit still - having to jump out of my chair and ... do what? I don't know - I guess I feel the need to run. If I am laying down I will start shaking my leg. Movement is a big part of this level. I rub my neck, brush my hair out of my face (over and over), and pray to God that the xanax that I just took will kick in in 20 minutes and make it all go away. I can handle this level of panic attacks pretty well. These usually happen no matter if I'm with my husband or not. I cannot have any noise around me or it makes the panic attack progress into a full blown attack. Being hot makes it even worse.

I get this level of panic attacks while shopping alot. This sudden rush of "OH MY GOD!!!!" will wash over me, and from there it's a fifty-fifty chance that I'll be able to calm down.

I'd say about half of this kind of panic attack will progress to the next level.

FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACKS

These are bad. I'll hyperventilate, get dizzy, feel like I'm falling over. Nobody can touch me or say anything to me, it just makes it worse. Xanax sometimes don't help these, breathing exercises don't either. I think what these are is like a continuation of the level below...just out of control. Like if I didn't take a xanax in time. If I'm in a store I'll have to run out. If I am in the car I nearly wreck trying to get to someplace "safe". (I know how close I am to my fathers house, mothers house, mother-in-laws house, sisters work and home at all times.) I'll grip the wheel so tightly that my neck, shoulder and arm muscles will hurt for days afterwards.

If I'm on the phone with somebody I'll stand up, then sit down, then stand up, sometimes feeling like I want to stamp my feet on the floor. The sheer terrorizing panic comes in waves - I'll settle down for a few moments, then it all comes back full force. I can almost feel the adrenaline pumping into my bloodstream, as my entire body seems like it's buzzing, or electrically charged.

What do I go through during a panic attack - well, every attack is different, but they all share common things. First and foremost, I always think each one is "different" and "worse" than any I've ever had before, even though I know afterwards that they were just the same. And I have different levels of attacks.

Generally speaking, I go through every moment of my life having a "mini panic attack", sometimes I get a "panic attack" and sometimes even more rarely I get a "full blown panic attack". On this scale - the WORST are the "MONSTER attacks." I'll describe what I go through with each one.

Please note, though, that I use Xanax (alprazolam), which is a benzodiazapine, to help me through my panic attacks. I know many of you don't use medicine, but I have found that it is the best thing to eradicate the symptoms quickly.

MINI PANIC ATTACKS
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Like I said - I deal with this my whole waking life. Fortunately panic attacks don't wake me up at night or I'm sure I'd be having these then, too. This is the constant edginess - I'm jumpy, easily startled, my muscles are tensed, I worry about everything from seeing those floaty things in my eyes to why there's so much hair in my hairbrush (is it falling out!!!). If I move to quickly I get nauseous. The television being on too loud makes me even more anxious, and it's hard for me to focus or concentrate on any one thing. I hold my hands tightly clenched. My eyes get wider and I ONLY breathe through my nose right before the attack moves into the next stage - regular panic attack.

PANIC ATTACKS

This is at the level where a xanax makes it go away. The symptoms are not being able to sit still - having to jump out of my chair and ... do what? I don't know - I guess I feel the need to run. If I am laying down I will start shaking my leg. Movement is a big part of this level. I rub my neck, brush my hair out of my face (over and over), and pray to God that the xanax that I just took will kick in in 20 minutes and make it all go away. I can handle this level of panic attacks pretty well. These usually happen no matter if I'm with my husband or not. I cannot have any noise around me or it makes the panic attack progress into a full blown attack. Being hot makes it even worse.

I get this level of panic attacks while shopping alot. This sudden rush of "OH MY GOD!!!!" will wash over me, and from there it's a fifty-fifty chance that I'll be able to calm down.

I'd say about half of this kind of panic attack will progress to the next level.

FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACKS

These are bad. I'll hyperventilate, get dizzy, feel like I'm falling over. Nobody can touch me or say anything to me, it just makes it worse. Xanax sometimes don't help these, breathing exercises don't either. I think what these are is like a continuation of the level below...just out of control. Like if I didn't take a xanax in time. If I'm in a store I'll have to run out. If I am in the car I nearly wreck trying to get to someplace "safe". (I know how close I am to my fathers house, mothers house, mother-in-laws house, sisters work and home at all times.) I'll grip the wheel so tightly that my neck, shoulder and arm muscles will hurt for days afterwards.

If I'm on the phone with somebody I'll stand up, then sit down, then stand up, sometimes feeling like I want to stamp my feet on the floor. The sheer terrorizing panic comes in waves - I'll settle down for a few moments, then it all comes back full force. I can almost feel the adrenaline pumping into my bloodstream, as my entire body seems like it's buzzing, or electrically charged.

MONSTER PANIC ATTACKS

These are the ones I BEG someone to take me to the emergency room over. My eyesight fades out - I shake uncontrollably, I feel horrible rushes of heat up my back and over my chest. My lungs burn and I grind my teeth - I have called the doctor during every one of these monster attacks. I talk rapidly, if at all, sometimes making little sense. Sometimes I'll start crying - but that is rare. Two xanax usually do the job in about 90 minutes, but those are the longest ninety minutes of my life. I will call someone to come over if I'm alone. I've only ever had one of these when my husband was with me, and that was the first one ever on the 4th of July in 1990.

I will be exhausted for three days after a panic attack like this. The first day afterwards I need to sleep practically all day - and also take more xanax as the anxiety will still be there.

These are the ones I BEG someone to take me to the emergency room over. My eyesight fades out - I shake uncontrollably, I feel horrible rushes of heat up my back and over my chest. My lungs burn and I grind my teeth - I have called the doctor during every one of these monster attacks. I talk rapidly, if at all, sometimes making little sense. Sometimes I'll start crying - but that is rare. Two xanax usually do the job in about 90 minutes, but those are the longest ninety minutes of my life. I will call someone to come over if I'm alone. I've only ever had one of these when my husband was with me, and that was the first one ever on the 4th of July in 1990.

I will be exhausted for three days after a panic attack like this. The first day afterwards I need to sleep practically all day - and also take more xanax as the anxiety will still be there.