Who is Mindtrap?


So apparently you want to know about me huh? Well I'm a college student end of my freshman year... Female... thats the basics, the real basics. Onto the other stuff i guess...

Well lets start off with some more basics ok? My parents divorced when i was in 3rd grade... I started preschool when i was 2yrs old. also started doing theater at that age also... I can't remember my parents actually being parents, I was always in some daycare or another until i became the babysitter which was like 6th grade... i have a younger sister by 3yrs... i cant remember when or if i was ever happy... and its been too long since the last time when i remember going through a single day without suicide in the back of my head... ive been in and out of therapy since i was 7 or 8...

I OD'd (over dosed) in october of my sophomore year in high school... leaving a whole slew of suicide/goodbye notes... but you can learn more about that elsewhere in this page...

I'm currently resuming therapy after not going for close to two years, because frankly ive gotten much worse over these two years as a whole. I've been more suicidal more often than i've ever been... and frankly I'm alittle sick of it, as much as ive gotten used to being suicidal, as much as one can... it got to a point where it became i live and try therapy again or i die... believe me death seems like the better anwser but i cant... there are people that i cant bear to hurt right now, therefore im back in thereapy... as of right now they are talking about putting me on prozac... dont get me wrong it seems like a good idea and everything lord knows thereapy alone hasnt helped in the past but i still have that unfounded fear of meds... i believe that i may be BPD (borderline personality disorder) along with major or bipolar depression, which is in question because i havnt a clue... anyways ill let you know when i know... for now this is what you know ok?

-MindTrap