Between two evils, I always choose the one I never tried before. - - Mae West
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. - - Eva Gabor
Deep down, I'm pretty superficial. - - Ava Gardner
God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants. - -
Jonathan Winters
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man
I keep his house. - - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly
shocking. - - Jean Cocteau
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound
the sand. I beat people up. - - Muhammad Ali
I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it
was, you know, important. Like a league game or something. - - Dick
Butkus
I'm just an old maid with an attraction to men. - - Janet
Reno
There's something about me that makes a lot of people
want to throw up. - - Pat Boone
Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of
character. - - Oscar Levant
I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed. - - Robert Frost
I may not be a great actress but I’ve become the greatest
at screen orgasms. Ten seconds of heavy breathing, roll your head from
side to side, simulate a slight asthma attack and die a little. -
- -Candice Bergen, 1984
I'm the Connie Francis of rock 'n' roll. - - Elton John
Filipinos want beauty. I have to look beautiful so that
the poor Filipinos will have a star to look at from their slums. - - Imelda
Marcos
I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I
am the world's best dancer, that's for sure. - - Michael Flatley
I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.
- - David Lee Roth
I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man;
I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man.
- - Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then
I'd be a teacher. - - Linda Evangelista, 1997
People think modeling's mindless, that you just stand
there and pose, but it doesn't have to be that way. I like to have a lot
of input, I know how to wear a dress, whether it should be shot with me
standing up or sitting down. And I'm not scared to say what I think.
- - Linda Evangelista
I've been through it all, baby. I'm Mother Courage.
- - Elizabeth Taylor
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
- - Marshall McLuhan
I never know how much of what I say is true. -
- Bette Midler
I have nothing intelligent to say. -
- Meg Tilly, when approached by a TV repporter asking questions on her way
into the 1997 Oscar ceremonies.
I am not denying anything I did not say. -
- -Brian Mulrooney
I really didn't say everything I said. -
- Yogi Berra
I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart
people and you've got dumb people.
- - Keanu Reeves
I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity,
the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress.
- - -Jane Austen
My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes,
because nobody can leave.
- - -Burt Reynolds
I’m no actor, and I have sixty-four pictures to prove
it. - - -Victor Mature
There are two reasons why I’m in show business, and I’m
standing on both of them. - - -Betty Grable
Of all the things I've ever lost I miss my mind the most. - - Steven Tyler
I am not a crook. - - Richard Nixon
I'm not smart enough to lie. - -
Ronald Reagan
I am not a lesbian and I am not a slut, and somehow I
am going to make people believe me.
- - Vanessa Williams
I am not in the closet. I am not coming out of the closet.
I am not gay. - - Oprah Winfrey
I believe I'm a better authority than anybody else in
America on my own wife. I have never known a person with a stronger sense
of right and wrong in my life- ever. - - Bill Clinton
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply
with the law. - - David Dinkins
I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
- - Jack Kerouac
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't
true. - - Katherine Hepburn
I’m the type of guy who’d sell you a rat’s asshole for
a wedding ring. - - -Tom Waits
I’ve made an ass of myself so many times I often wonder
if I am one. - - -Norman Mailer
Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of
character. - - -Oscar Levant
Success didn’t spoil me; I’ve always been insufferable.
- - -Fran Lebowitz
I don't meet competition. I crush it. -
- Charles Revson
I’m not the type to get ulcers. I give them. -
- -Ed Koch
I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's
not good for an actor. - - Jack Nicholson, 1993
I always figured the American public wanted a solemn
ass for president, so I went along with them. - -
-Calvin Coolidge
I don't read books, I write them. -
- Henry Kissinger
I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them. -
- Ed Koch
When I sing, people shut up. - -
-Barbra Streisand
If people screw me, I screw back in spades. -
- Donald Trump
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that’s a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth. -
- -John Lennon
I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional
position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or
lockjaw. - - -Tallulah Bankhead (1972)
I have to be physically attracted to someone. But I can't
just be with someone just because it's great sex. Because orgasms don't
last long enough. - - Courteney Cox
Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
- - Billy Crystal.
I should never have married, but I didn't want to live
without a man. Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in
marriage. I'm afraid it did. - - Bette Davis
Personally I know nothing about sex because I've always
been married. - - Zsa Zsa Gabor
If I were asked for a one line answer to the question
"What makes a woman good in bed?" I would say, "A man who is good in bed."
- - Bob Guccione (1978)
There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A
peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. -
- -Billy Joel
Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you've got and 50 per
cent what people think you've got.
- - Sophia Loren
Everyone probably thinks that I’m a raving nymphomaniac,
that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I’d rather
read a book. - - -Madonna (1991)
There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.
- - -Norman Mailer (1992)
Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It’s part of the sizzle. - - Camille Paglia
Cocaine habit forming? Of course not, I ought to know.
I've been using it for years.
- - Tallulah Bankhead
I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady
I don't move for months.
- - W. C Fields
The only thing I thought might ever kill me off was clean
living. I thought, "How am I going to listen to that horrible noise I make
without a gram of coke and a couple of double Jack Daniels?"
- - Iggy Pop
I like children. If they're properly cooked. -
- W. C. Fields
I like dogs better [than people]. They give you unconditional
love. They either lick your face or bite you, but you always know where
they're coming from. With people, you never know which ones will bite.
The difference between dogs and men is that you know where dogs sleep at
night. - - Greg Louganis
I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my
pocket. - - Lyndon B. Johnson
I love New York City; I've got a gun. -
- Charles Barkley
Feminism is just a way for ugly women to get into the
mainstream of America. - - Rush Limbaugh
The movie business divides women into ice queens and
sluts, and there have been times I wanted to be a slut more than anything.
- - Sigourney Weaver
My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able
to change her, like a bank note, for two 20s. - -
Warren Beatty, 1997
I don’t think I was constructed to be monogamous. I don’t
think it’s the nature of any man to be monogamous. . . . Men are propelled
by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute
their seed into as many females as possible. - - -Marlon
Brando (1994)
God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood
to run one at a time. - - Robin Williams
I dress for women, and undress for men. -
- Angie Dickinson
I like men to behave like men - strong and childish.
- - Françoise Sagan
I love the way men smell. I love the way they taste,
their texture, the way they're built.
- - Marilu Henner
I love the male body, it’s better designed than the male
mind. - - -Andrea Newman
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported.
- - Mae West
Effeminate men intrigue me more than anything in the
world. I see them as my alter egos. I feel very drawn to them. I think
like a guy, but I’m feminine. So I relate to feminine men.
- - -Madonna, 1991
I require three things in a man: He must be handsome,
ruthless, and stupid. - - Dorothy Parker
I owe everything - my success and happiness - to men.
- - Dinah Shore
If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put
in his food so I can live inside him.
- - Drew Barrymore (1998)
When I walk into a bookstore, I want to see my picture
on the cover of every magazine, like Leonardo DiCaprio. -
- Brandy
I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing
that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this
planet. - - George Foreman
I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too
much to ask of a millionaire?
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I want real loyalty. I want someone who will kiss my
ass in Macy's window, and say it smells like roses. -
- Lyndon Johnson
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing
it over your head. - - Carole Burnett
With all due respect to the world's great drummers -
it ain't brain surgery. - - Mickey Dolenz, 1996
Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls,
which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that
created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on. -
- Ru Paul
If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen.
- - Dolly Parton
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my
own? - - -Zsa Zsa Gabor
You have to remember, Frank Sinatra is 82 years old, which
is 240 in your years. He's lived three lifetimes! He has good and bad days.
He can't run ... around as fast as he used to.
- - -Tom Dreesen
"I always knew I'd look back
at the tears and laugh, but I never thought that I'd look back at the laughs
and cry."
"How lucky I am to have known
someone who was so hard to say goodbye to."
"To dislike yourself is to insult
your friends."
"Only a mediocre person is always
at his best."
"Have the courage to live. Anyone
can die."
"Advice is what people ask for
when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
"It's hard to fight an enemy
who has outposts in your head."
"Egotism is the anesthetic that
dulls the pain of stupidity."
"Love thy neighbor as thyself,
but choose your neighborhood."
"Never forget what a man says
to you when he is angry."
"If nothing ever changed, there'd
be no butterflies."
"Love is a fire. But whether
it is going to warm your hearth, or burn down your house, you can never
tell."
"Sometimes I wish I were a kid
again - skinned knees are easier to fix than broken dreams."
"I'm not confused, I'm just
well-mixed." --
Robert Frost
"It takes 17 muscles to smile,
and 47 muscles to frown. Conserve energy."
"Even if you're on the right
track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
"It doesn't hurt to be optimistic.
You can always cry later." --
Lucimar Santos de Lima
"People change and forget to
tell each other." -- Lillian Hellman
Miller's Law: You cannot tell
how deep a puddle is until you step in it.
"Freedom is the right to be wrong,
not the right to do wrong." --
John G. Riefenbaker
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't
that where the fruit is?" --
Frank Scully
When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened. -- Winston Churchill
The great pleasure in life is
doing what people say you cannot do. --
Walter Babehot
Drag your thoughts away from
your troubles...by the ears, by the heels or any other way you can manage
it. It's the healthiest thing a body can do. --
Mark Twain
If there is anything we wish
to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could be better changed in ourselves.
-- Carl Jung
Crying only a little bit is no
use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and
laugh... -- Galway
Kinnell
Worry never robs tomorrow of
its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength.
-- A. J. Cronin
Real friends are those who,
when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent
job. -- Erwin
T. Randall
We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, Why did this happen to me? unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. -- Philip S. Bernstein
Happiness is not a place to travel
to. It's a way of getting there. --
Anonymous
When you do something you are
proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it.
-- Mildred Newman
A tip-off to an abusive family
system is a situation in which nobody ever apologizes.
-- Karen Shaud
When you reach for the stars,
you may not get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
There is a time to let things
happen, and a time to make things happen.
If you don't learn from your
mistakes, there's no sense making them.
After all is said and done,
there is usually more said than done.
If you're not sure where you're
going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
Even a mosquito doesn't get
a pat on the back until he's well into his work.
Remember when you see a man
at the top of a mountain, he didn't fall there.
Failure is only the opportunity
to begin again, only this time more wisely.
The toughest part of getting
to the top of the ladder , is getting through the crowd at the bottom.
Many people have the right aim
in life, but never get around to pulling the trigger .
Stopping at third base
adds no more runs than striking out .
When you're average, you're
just as close to the bottom as you are the top.
The best place to find a helping
hand is at the end of your own arm .
Some make it happen, some watch
it happen, and some say, "what happened?"
Elizabeth Taylor
Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick
blanket.- - - Mr. Blackwell
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.- - - Joan
Rivers
Every minute this broad spends outside of bed is a waste of time.-
- - Michael Todd (about Elizabeth Taylorr)
Madonna
Armed with a wiggle and a Minnie Mouse squawk, she is coarse and charmless.
- - - Sheila Johnson (about Madonna, 19887)
I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal
with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say
about Schmadonna. - - - Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)
Not in this lifetime. Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done
it to. - - - Sharon Stone (when told Madonna has said she wants to
kiss her)
She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else. - - - Morrissey
(about Madonna, 1986)
She is so hairy, when she lifted up her arm, I thought it was Tina
Turner in her armpit. - - - Joan Rivers (about Madonna)
She looked like a huge ball of fur on two well-developed legs.
- - - Nancy Mitford (about Princess Marggaret, 1959)
No woman of our time has gone further with less mental equipment.
- - - Clifton Fadiman (about Clare Boothh Luce)
She is a lady short on looks, absolutely deprived of any dress sense,
has a figure like a Jurassic monster . . . very greedy when it comes to
loot, no tact and wants to upstage everyone else. - - - Sir Nicholas Fairbairn
(about Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York)
She looks like something that would eat its young. - - - Dorothy
Parker (about Dame Edith Evans)
She must use Novocain lipstick. - - - Jack Paar (about Dorothy Kilgallen)
She was a master at making nothing happen very slowly. - - -
Clifton Fadiman (about Gertrude Stein)
She was divinely, hysterically, insanely malevolent. - - - Bette Davis
(about Theda Bara)
She's about as feminine as a sidewalk drill. - - - Maryon Allen (about
Phyllis Schlafly)
Timid? As timid as a buzzsaw. - - - George Ells (about Hedda Hopper)