Once Upon A Time....

A long, long time ago, there lived this king guy. And this king guy had a wife who was very pretty, and they both lived in a large castle place high above the Enchanted Forest. They also had this daughter person who was incredibly beautiful and also very smart. Certainly a lot smarter than some of the prince guys who always used to hang around the castle hoping to take Cinderella (for that was her name) on a date through the Enchanted Forest. As you might expect, Cinderella wanted nothing to do with these guys, who all had the manners of pigs and the personalities of trolls. Well, all that certainly wouldn't make much of a story other than the fact that the princes kept calling Cinderella, and she just kept saying she wasn't interested. Well, as was so often the case in those times, Cinderella's mother died from eating too many of those little hot dogs with the toothpicks that were served at one of the castle balls that they always used to have. This made the king very sad, so he decided to get himself a new wife. He put an ad in the paper, and in no time at all he was married once again. The only problem was that his new wife was uglier than a wart hog and had the temper of a wounded gorilla. She also had a bunch of daughters (from a previous marriage) who looked as though their faces had been run over by a herd of elephants; they, too, had the personalities of slugs. Well, in no time at all, Cinderella was banished to the kitchen, where she had to scrub the floors twice a day, peel bags and bags of potatoes, and clean out the cat's litter box by hand. That's just about where our story begins, so let's listen in.

CINDERELLA: (disgusted) You know, I've just about had it!
NARRATOR: (aside) You probably know that in a lot of these stories the main chacacters talk to themselves. That's just the way it is. It certainly doesn't mean they're crazy or have been sitting out in the sun too long or anything like that. It just means that they talk to themselves. That's it. Anyway...

CINDERELLA: (still disgusted) As I was saying, I've just about had it. Who does this wicked stepmother think she is? I mean, she's certainly not the heroine of this story...she's just some stupid old hag who has nothing better to do with her time than put me to work in the kitchen while she spends her day gazing into some enchanted mirror that tells her she's the most beautiful creature in the entire kingdom. If she believes that, I have some beachfront property in Arizona to sell her.
INCREDIBLY HANDSOME PRINCE: (smoothly) Say, Cindy, I was just cruising through the castle and wondering if you'd like to go with me to the castle dance Friday night. After all, I'm so incredibly handsome and such an incredibly good dancer, and I've got such an incredibly swell stagecoach with some incredibly stunning stallions...
CINDERELLA: (irritated) Look, buster, why don't you and your incredibly oversized ego beat it. The last thing I need in my life is some stupid prince with incredibly bad breath taking me to some incredibly boring dance at some incredibly smelly castle.
INCREDIBLY HANDSOME PRINCE: (very indignantly) Well, humph!
INCREDIBLY UGLY STEPSITER #1: (angrily) Hey, Cindy. What do you think you're doing talking to some incredibly handsome prince? You're supposed to be down on your hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor with an old dishrag and cheap detergent.
CINDERELLA:(equally angry) Look, wart face, I don't need you telling me what to do with my life. It wasn't my choice that my father went out and married the first woman he saw and that that woman just happened to have two of the ugliest and stupidest daughters this kingdom (or any kingdom, for that matter) has ever seen. No wonder every mirror in this place is broken; one look by you and mirrors for miles around shatter into millions of pieces. The best thing you could do is put a paper bag over your head and go live with the three bears in the middle of the forest.
INCREDIBLY UGLY STEPSISTER #1: (very indignant) Well, I never....
CINDERELLA: (snappily) Hey, just take a hike and leave me alone.
INCREDIBLY UGLY STEPSISTER #2: What seems to be the problem here? And why aren't you pushing that mop around the floor and peeling that enormous pile of potatoes in the corner?
CINDERELLA: (sarcastically) Oh, great! Just what I need--some other rhinoceros-faced stepsister who thinks she can just stand around and tell me how to live my life. Just look at her; she walks into a beauty parlor and they have to fumigate it for awhole week after she leaves. And talk about your smelly feet! WHEW!!!
INCREDIBLY UGLY STEPSISTER #2: Hey look, sister. You know the story line as well as we do. All you're supposed to do is clean out this castle while my ugly sister, equally ugly mother, and I get dressed to go to the dance down at the castle gymnasium. That's it! No lip! No talking back! No nothing! Just follow the script and do your job and the story will turn out just like it's been written.
CINDERELLA: (irritatedly) Well, I'm sick and tired of how the story always turns out!
REALLY INCREDIBLY UGLY STEPMOTHER: Hey, let's cut the chatter here. You girls should be getting ready for the dance and you, Miss Cinderella, should be scrubbing and cleaning and peeling and all that other stuff. Nobody gave you the right to tell us what you should be doing. And if you think you can just get your animal friends or some stupid fairy godmother to help you out, you have another thing coming. Now quit lollygagging and get to work! Let's go, incredibly ugly daughters.
NARRATOR: (soothingly) As you've probably guessed by now, Cinderella really has a bad attitude. She's tired, she's grumpy, and she's had it with everyone telling her what she should do and what she shouldn't do. And she hasn't even had time to put on her makeup.

So, at this point in the story you probably expect that something magical will happen. The so-called fairy godmother will appear out of nowhere to create an incredibly smashing gown and an equally smashing carriage for Cinderella to ride in to the castle dance. In fact, that's the way most people remember the story. But that's not the true story... it's the story you've heard all these years...but not the true story. But maybe I'd better let Cindy tell your herself.
CINDERELLA: (definitely) Well, thanks a lot, buddy! (to audience) Anyway, I really got fed up with all the jerks I had to deal with, and I certainly didn't want to go to any dance and have a bunch of clods step all over my feet all night long...and who needs those stupid princes anyway? So after my incredibly ugly stepsisters and my incredibly ugly stepmother left for the dance, I decided to have some pizza delivered to the castle and sit around in my pajamas and read a bunch of romance novels. Really, that's all I did all night long. Now the writers who put together the story wanted a little more action, so they made up all that stuff about the stupid prince and me losing my stupid shoe and the stupid prince going around the stupid city the next day to try the shoe on all the stupid women in town to see if one of them would marry him. Now if you really want to believe that, go ahead. But the truth is that all I did that night was read some trashy novels and eat a whole pepperoni pizza. Really!
NARRATOR: And so there you have it folks...the really, really, really true story of Cinderella. Honest!

For more details and information, please visit:

The Cinderella Project
For other interesting versions, please visit:

Other Versions of the Story

And so Cinderella and the Incredibily Handsome Prince get married and live happily ever after....
but alas, they don't? That's what the story book wants you to believe. But they really didn't have the happy ending that everyone thought.

For My own psychological interpretation

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