I’m not sure exactly when I contracted CFS. I tend to say the end of June 1997 because that’s when I realized something was truly wrong. Before that I thought I was just run down from stress and an illness during April.

In March 1997 I had just changed jobs for the third time in one year. (I was working as a computer support engineer and it is a very competitive field. People often move around to get training and higher pay and I was no exception.) I was also in the process of finalizing my divorce, selling my house and helping my employer move to a new location.

One month after I started my new job everyone got sick with the flu. I developed an upper respiratory infection that didn’t want to go away. My doctor gave me various medications but my symptoms only changed. I was already exhausted not sleeping well, constantly congested with a sore throat, low grade fever, and swollen glands. Then I started getting aches in my joints, feeling lightheaded, having problems thinking and developed pins and needles in both arms. Still thinking everything was stress I took a two week vacation to Colorado and New Mexico and returned even more exhausted.

I finally went back to the doctor on July 7,1997. My doctor ran several tests that showed I still had a sinus infection and Epstein Barr so I began I series of trips to several specialists. I went to ENT’s, Infectious Disease specialists, an allergist, an orthopedist, and a physical therapist over the next year.

I ended up on various antibiotics for over nine weeks, tried several inhalers, antihistamines, anti-inflammatories(which I can no longer take due to stomach problems) antivirals and nothing helped. In fact, about one month into all the medications, I lost my voice. I ended up having laryngitis for over a year and continue to get it two to three times a week.

I was forced to cutback all my activities. I stopped going out after work and on the weekends. My fiancee began doing almost all the household chores, I didn’t have enough energy to do anything other than work, and eventually that began to suffer to. I had already exceeded my sick days for the year and was forced to leave early or come in late because I was so tired. My job required me to diagnose and fix software and hardware problems on laptop and desktop computers. I began making a lot of mistakes and would leave the room for something and forget what I was doing, or think I had already done things I hadn’t. (If I had to stop for a phone call or go to the bathroom I couldn’t remember what I was doing beforehand.) This was happening several times a day.

I finally decided to take a leave of absence from work in September figuring If it was EBV or some other virus a few weeks of bed rest would cure everything. A month later I still wasn’t feeling better and one of my doctors suggested viral syndrome. I began to do some research determined to beat it. I found a doctor who specialized in CFS, Lyme disease and allergies. She ran more tests and confirmed I had CFS. In total I tested positive for EBV, HHV6, ANA antibodies (antiphospholipid syndrome -- a clotting disorder), Fibromyalgia and had an abnormal spec scan (meaning I have low blood flow in my brain) I am allergic to cockroaches, mushrooms, shrimp, mold and tree pollen. I also have a compressed disk in my lower back and one in my neck that may be causing Carpal tunnel syndrome in both my arms.

I currently take several herbs in addition to Kutrapressin and vitamin b12 injections, Darvocet, Skelaxin, Allegra, Ambien, Klonopin and Zantac. The only thing that helps is rest. My biggest problem is I always try to do to much. I still have days where I feel like if I just try hard enough I can do everything I want, and then I end up in bed or on the couch for the next few days. My whole life has changed. I am still unable to work and can’t even drive on some days. I have had to learn to let things go. I used to clean the whole house in an afternoon, now I dust one day, clean the toilet another, do one load of laundry or vacuum. I have to lay down and rest 2-3 times a day.

I have been forced to apply for SSD,which is a completely demeaning process. They even sent me for a psyche exam, as though It is all in my head. They ask what a typical day is like and they don’t understand I don’t have a typical day anymore. I wake up each day and never know what it’s going to be like. They seem to think that just because I can vacuum one day, I could clean houses for a living. There are days I can make it up and down the stairs with no problem but end up to tired to get out of bed the next day.

I used to love to work on computers, garden, cook, visiting with friends, going to the movies and reading science fiction/fantasy books. Now I can only sit at the computer for an hour or so before it becomes incredibly painful. My brain can no longer process the complex stories in my favorite books and I find myself rereading the same page over and over. I miss going to the movies, and seeing friends and family. Gardening has been scaled down to a few low maintenance potted plants and I can no longer decorate cakes, or do needlepoint. I took a vacation in February and spent most of the time in the hotel because I was to tired to go out.

In the meantime I try to keep a positive attitude. My fiancee and I are busy planning our wedding in September of 2000 and are buying a lot and having a mother/daughter house built. My family has been very supportive and I found a few friends who have stuck by me as well. I am trying very hard to take life one day at a time and be grateful for the small things. Each day they learn more about this illness and hopefully one day I will be able to live the life I did before.