One of the ways we can sabotage our success is to ask the wrong people for advice. We end up misled and discouraged because we got the wrong information.
If you have a misunderstanding with someone, go directly to them and clear it up. Don't talk about the situation behind their back or ask an uninvolved person to decipher the situation.
Ask for professional guidance from someone who's qualified to help you. Make use of libraries and the internet to gain information you need. Call or write people who are professionals and specialists. Some of them are eager to share their information with you. They gain satisfaction in knowing that their knowledge can help someone else. Give yourself and someone else a gift by asking for help. Don't delay your good by following a bunch of "dead leads". Go straight to the source, get what you need and move forward.
I've recently joined the team at LiveAdvice.com. It seems like a good place to get advice on a variety of matters. Please click on the link in this message to let them know I sent you.
One of the reasons for lack of success in goal-setting could be related to values. If your goal is out of line with your values you might have trouble sticking with it long-term. To download a values inventory, go to:the support group. Once you determine your top five values you can use this information to make wiser choices that are in line with who you are, not who you think you should be. Knowledge about your values can also help you learn new ways to motivate yourself.
For example, if freedom is one of your top five values, stop telling yourself about what you "should" do. Should's will make a "freedom" person run and hide or rebel. If financial success is one of your top five values, you can use money as a reward for successful goal achievement. For example, pay yourself money to go to the gym or, keep a tally of your successes and pay yourself for a job well done. Start a success savings account that you can only draw money from if you achieve certain goals.
With a little creativity and insight, you can make even the most mundane tasks fun and exciting to complete. If you have additional ideas about ways to stay motivated and accomplish goals, I'd love to hear them. Send me an e-mail at: sheri@sabotagetosuccess.com.
If you have a goal for the week, accomplish it as soon as possible, especially if your goal is to do something multiple times in the week (i.e., exercise 3 times). The sooner you get started the better you will feel about yourself and the more likely it will be that you accomplish your entire goal.
Every individual on this planet has a list of can and can’t messages they carry around with them. Some of the “cant’s” are accurate, factual and reasonable. Such as “I can’t fly” or, “I can’t lay eggs”. But other “cant’s" are simply lies that we heard a long time ago and thanks to the power of repetition, we’ve chosen to accept them as “fact”.
It’s important to be aware of the “can’t” messages you carry around. If you’re not aware of them, they nevertheless impact your life on a daily basis. Here are some examples: “I can’t meet new people, I can’t buy a new home, I can’t ever get ahead in life, I can’t change jobs, I can’t take risks, etc.” If you believe these statements, guess what? You will prove yourself right and you'll find it difficult, if not impossible to move to a new level of satisfaction in life.
Try an exercise just for fun. Separate a piece of paper into two columns. At the top of one column, write, “I can’t” and list all the things that come to your mind. At the top of the second column write, “who says?” Analyze the origin of your limited thinking and make a commitment to challenge your negative self-talk head on. It’s the first step to unlocking your true potential.
When you find yourself thinking a negative thought such as "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never be able to succeed." Stop for a moment and question the belief. Why won't you succeed? Who said? Is this really the truth? Is this what you want to focus your mental energy upon? Tell yourself, "I have a choice about what thoughts go on in my mind and today I choose to focus on my strengths and successes."
Many times our own negative thoughts about ourselves create a heavy feeling that can lead to behavioral consequences. To enhance your chances for a great day, prepare yourself for success before you go to bed each night. Review your goals for the following day and imagine how good you'll feel if you accomplish each of them. Let your last thoughts before retiring be about success and positive anticipation.
When you get up in the a.m., refuse to listen to any negativity. If you begin to think worrisome, doom and gloom thoughts, "talk back" to the saboteur. Tell the negative voice, "NO! I won't listen to you because when I do, I end up feeling worse. I am in charge of myself and my feelings and I chose to get up on time and feel good". There is a part of you who wants to succeed and do well, let that part win.
Put index cards with positive affirmations on them next to your alarm clock. When you get up, read the affirmations. Let the positive thoughts be the first ones you have upon awakening, before the saboteur even has a chance to get in there and mess things up.
Do this consistently and you might be surprised how well it can work. When you begin sentences with "I can't, I don't or I should" you create a mental block and feelings of depression. Begin telling yourself what you CAN do. You can reach your goals more easily when you do your part to ensure your chances of success.
There's a lot of talk about newness at this time of the year. Many times, the new replaces the old. What new things would you like to do this year? What old things would you like to get rid of? Why not mentally "clean out" some of the old ideas and attitudes that no longer suit you and replace them with new ideas and attitudes that work?
Are you living your life based on values and ideas that you learned 20, 40 or 50 years ago? That's a little like insisting on using a manual typewriter or a rotary phone. They both work but they make life much more difficult than it needs to be. This New Year, why not let go of some of the things that no longer work for you and replace them with what does. This will free up your energy so you can be more of who you want to be. Happy New Year and Happy New You!
For many of us, the coming of the New Year is a mixed bag. On one hand we might be hopeful and excited about things to come. On the other hand, we are reminded that another year has passed and we still have unfulifilled wishes and goals.
Being realistic and honest is a necessary part of fine-tuning your goals and re-directing your actions. However, beating yourself up mentally will not bring you closer to your desired objectives.
Many times, when we are stuck in the negative, worrisome mode, we tend to focus on all the worst case scenarios. Each time you catch yourself doing this, try something new. Try worrying in reverse. This means, each time you think of a situation, spend your mental energy focusing on best case scenarios. Get extravagant and dramatic. Let your mind run wild with the possibilities.
Most of us have had a variety of experiences in life that include situations that turned out "better than we could have imagined" and others that failed to meet our expectations. Focusing solely on failures or unrealized dreams is only focusing on a portion of reality. Dare to open your mind to the totality of possibilities and enjoy each day to its fullest. Let go of the burdens of the past an embrace this day, this week and this year as the beginning of a new adventure.
The Holiday Season is rich with traditions and rituals. Many of us have a particular food, memory, person, song or tradition that tends to symbolize or embody the spirit of the season. This can be soothing and comforting in most cases. However, we must also learn to be open and receptive to the uniqueness of each year. When we cling to traditions as the sole source of meaning and happiness, we can easily be let down. Make each day special by choosing to be totally present in the moment. Don't miss out on the greatness today because you're too busy looking to recreate the past. Let go of expectations of the past and enjoy the here and now. Enjoy the present.
This is a time of year when many people celebrate a holiday using lights and candles and sharing gifts. As you look at the light that surrounds you, let it be a reminder of your own, inner light. The light of love, forgiveness, joy and peace. Share your light with a smile, a helping hand or a kind, anonymous gesture.
Regardless of the material gifts you do or do not exchange, be sure to share your inner gifts and talents on a daily basis. One of the ways we sabotage our own success is by keeping our gifts locked tightly away or by claiming our gifts are not "good enough." Stop comparing your gifts with those of others and share what you have. You are a valuable asset to this universe and you have much to share. Have a wonderful season and a happy new year.
No Tip of the Week. Sheri O. Zampelli was in Hawaii doing the Honolulu Marathon.
Week of December 2, 2001:
Now is the time to reflect on accomplishments and successes from this past year and to plan your goals for next year. Start a list of successes for the year 2001. List everything you're grateful for. Outline all the steps you've taken this year that will help you move closer to your long-term goals. On another list, write your goals for 2002. After you've outlined all your yearly goals, ask yourself what you need to do on a monthly, weekly and daily basis to make it possible for those goals to happen. I highly recommend the Master Mind Goal Achiever's Journal as a structured, positive way to set and achieve goals. To order, call Master Mind Publishing at 800-256-1984 or visit The Church of Today web site Cost is $26.95 plus shipping and tax.
To receive the Tip of the Week automatically
via e-mail each week, enter your e-mail address below.
Go Home 