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Of course, the funniest joke of all is Jeff Gordon!
How can you tell when Jeff Gordon is going to say something intelligent?
He starts out with "My wife Brooke said..."
Did you hear that Gordon has a new sponsor next year?
Yea, the sponsor will be Puffs PLUS!
Its the Superbowl of Motorsports. I go to my seat that is way up top of the Winston Tower. There is a lone gentleman sitting one seat away with an empty seat between us. I comment to the man in regards to his empty seat: "Imagine missing a race like this, and how much they must have paid for that unused ticket." He explained that the seat was for his wife of 30 years, and she had passed away. I, of course, felt terrible, gave my condolences and asked him why he didn't give it to a friend or family member. He said, "There all at her funeral."
Did you hear that WalMart is being sued?
Seems a lady tried on an Ernie Irvan t-shirt. She hit the wall 3 times before she could get out of the dressing room!
Jeff Gordon was out jogging. He slipped on a icy patch of road, hit his head and fell into an icy river. Three kids saw it happen. They jumped in to save him. When he came to, he said, "Boys, you just saved Jeff Gordon! You each deserve a reward. You name it and I'll give it to you!" The 1st kid said, "I'd like a ticket to Disney World." Gordon replied, "I'll take care of it personally." The 2nd kid said, "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbo's." Gordon replied, "I'll buy them myself and give them to you." The 3rd kid said, "I'd like a wheelchair with a built in stereo." Gordon replied, "No problem...Wait a second, you're not handicapped?" The kid said, "I will be, when my father finds out who I saved from drowning."
Overhead at the Jiffylube 300:
"Can Mark Martin pick up any points on Jeff Gordon today?"
"No, but Jeff sure could pick up a few pointers from Mark!"
What is the difference between Jeff Gordon's car and a porcupine?
On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!
Do you know why most pace cars are Chevys?
Gives them a chance to be up front!
Did you hear Dale Earnhardt and his crew got busted for drugs?
Yea, they found coke, crack and heroine, but they couldn't find any speed!
Do you know why Jeff Gordon never hits the wall?
Because it doesn't have a number on it! |
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