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Patrick Ewings Prized Secrets on how to Beat a Speeding Ticket with your Masculinity...and other methods... Hi Mom!

      Have you ever been caught doing a 90 on a 25 mph residential area? It sure can ruin your afternoon. Usually, during these unfortunate incidents of being pulled over for speeding, your best bet is common courtesy. The most common question one would ask the State Patrol Offficer when he is at your car window is, "Is there a problem officer?" And this is where they went wrong! Read my lips. You don't have to pay for your ticket. If you follow these proper procedures, you CAN beat the system. You CAN beat the system. I like monkeys.

And now, what the government considers as illegal practices in Zimbabwe...... Kazowee!!!
Not in any particular order.

This is what I personally consider
The Seal Treatment.
-Simply bark like a Seal everytime the officer speaks.
The results are surprising.

Another one of Patrick Ewing's favored methods by many is the
Mimic Method.
-Repeat the officer's every word. See how far that takes you.

Michael Flatley "Lord of the Dance" taught me this secret when he was in a drunken stupor. We call it
Gettin' Jiggy wit it. Na na na....... (Sorry, couldn't help it.)
-Casually do an Irish jig on the officer's hood and don't stop 'til you win his approval.

Offer a Doughnut.
-They like doughnuts.

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