Hospitality means
"the love of strangers." Hospitality doesn't depend on possessions or the
grandeur of the meal. It depends on giving, sharing and treating others
as we want to be treated.
Matthew 7:12 -(Holy bible)
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My parents exemplified
hospitality. Daddy often brought strangers home for supper that he had just met. I can still hear him saying to Mama "Give these people some food. They're hungry." Mama always cooked more than enough. My sisters and I have retained that lesson.
My dear Mother Nan whom I recently lost, taught me and my four sisters
how to entertain and treat our guests. She always sent plates of dinner to a sick neighbor. When there was a death, she always invited the bereaved family to our home within the following two weeks for dinner. While growing up, people loved coming to our house for her dinners, and just to have a "good time". On this page I would like to share some of
these "special ways" of entertaining with you.
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Your guests are special. You thought enough of them to invite them into your home to partake of your personal hospitality. It really doesn't require much. Hospitality is in our warm smile, hug, genuine handshake and hearty laughter. We enjoy catering to our guests. They are special. After they leave we want them to have warm memories of their visit with our family. Remember, the word
hospitality means "love of
strangers."
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The Arrival
1. As soon as the guests are in your home, make them welcome. After seating them, offer them refreshments. Juices, soft drinks, an alcoholic beverage if that is planned, or ice water, is a nice beginning. Notice if anyone needs a refill.
2. Serve the drink with a hostess napkin. That
is special! Paper serviettes are perfectly acceptable. Grocers and Dollar stores are great for buying printed or colored serviettes. (In
eastern Ontario and Quebec, paper napkins are called serviettes. A napkin
refers to cloth.)
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"Oh! We never use those. That's our "good" china".
3. Please do use all of your dinnerware, crystal etc.
We have four sets. All are lovely.
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4. Don't "save" your best. Most material possessions we "own" are only being "used." Someday, as we age and/or downsize, we will either sell it, give it away, or it can be stolen from us, and upon our death someone else will inherit it all. They will never appreciate our possessions the same as we have. If we ever have to leave our possessions, let it all be "USED". "Remember the wife of Lot". |
Showing Consideration 5. Be attentive for signs that someone is either too cool or too hot. It is terrible to be away from home and feel uncomfortable. You certainly don't enjoy your visit as much. If it is a female that is too warm and everyone else seems comfortable, offer her a fan. Many of our female friends are middle aged, as I am. I keep about a dozen paper fans in a drawer in the living room. If it is summer, check the air conditioner thermostat. If it is winter time and a little cool, notice your guests and turn the heat up, and/or offer a wrap. |
5b. In Canada,
the custom
is to remove our street shoes upon
entering the house. (Also done in service, if invited in.) This is a courtesy
out of regard for the householder's carpets and floors. The soles of our
shoes are as soiled as the street outside and the carpets reflect this.
Black marks on hardwood floors are no fun to remove. We bring extra shoes
or slippers. If our guest didn't bring slippers, we keep a few extra ones
in the foyer closet. My American sister got a laugh out of our book study
conductor in sock feet. However, we in Canada don't need to clean our carpets as
often.
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Name Place cards 6. It is very "special" to have a name place
card at each setting. It saves you deciding at the last minute where everyone will sit. The quests enjoy looking for their names. If you want to make it "extra-special,"
buy porcelain name place cards.
Unlike the paper ones, porcelain is reusable. These can be purchased at the
Pottery Barn, Pier I, MacIntosh & Watts, and other fine china stores. Write
names on them with washable ink pen. These pens are in fine china stores
or stationary shops.
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6b. Porcelain name plate sticks are nice for
buffets. You write the name of the food on the square part and stick the
pick part in the food. They're great for unfamiliar dishes and saves the
guests asking the host "what is this?"
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Guest Gifts ![]() 7. Pick up small inexpensive gifts over time
and place one on each plate. We all like gifts. A pack of lovely patterned
Rice paper napkins, a mini pack of chocolates, a real flower with a ribbon
bow, etc. Mini gift bags from the Dollar store makes a nice "box" for the
gift. Let your imagination soar.
Another hint #2: I buy a variety of items, or even check my house for things that are new, but I don't really want. I attach a sticker to each item with a number on it. We were expecting 8 guests, so I had 8 items with stickers. (Once I had a new unwanted cookbook, a new in package weights and measures fridge magnet, software, a 2lb sealed cake in the box, picture frames, a $1.00 or $5.00 bill, etc. You get the picture.) When our guests arrived they were invited to pick a number from a basket. After dinner, with everyone still at the table, I brought my bag of gifts in. As I called the numbers and each guest received their gift, there were many pleasant comments about their gifts.
Hint #3: If you want to make it fun and laughter, you could also buy items of fun such as a can of beans with a disclaimer or note to "eat only in powder room", a package of lemon pie filling with a note of catchy phrases: "You're a real lemon" or "Don't be a tart". I'm sure you will think of all kinds of unique ideas.
CAUTION:
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7B. For those with computers, a lovely gift that people appreciate is print a favorite scripture, poem or "saying" on preprinted paper for each guest. Roll it up and tie a ribbon around it and sit it on each plate. One that I do is Joshua 24:15 on Scroll paper or Psalm 23 on paper showing trees and water is nice to frame. |
Framed Menus
8. You don't need one at each setting unless you have room for them. The menu in a picture frame at each end of the table is nice. It lets your guests know what the meal consists of. Your guests are filled with anticipation. We featured framed 8X10 menus at each end of the buffet table at our daughter's wedding.
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Oh horrors! I've run out
of food!
9. Always, always, prepare more
than enough food for your guests. A mistake
often made by inexperienced ones, is preparing
for six if one is
serving six.
True hospitality allows for "seconds" and
for some people "thirds!"
When I am the guest, I love eating delicious food. However, I hate to desire another helping, when obviously there isn't enough. I feel unsatisfied. Therefore, I always
prepare for the unexpected also. If
we are having six guests, I prepare for 10-12
so that I have
plenty. I usually have enough left over for the next day, which is great.
After I've prepared a large meal I don't like to have to cook a whole meal
the next day.
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Paper Doilies
10. Use lots of paper
doilies. They are inexpensive, yet the appearance
is special. I always use large ones for the serving trays and cake plates.
A cake just looks nicer. If the cake is too moist, such as a syrup cake,
I put the cake on a glass plate first, then use a pedestal cake plate with
a large paper doily on it and the cake plate on top of that.
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11. Paper doilies are most pleasing under
the teacup on the saucer or under the salad plate if served on top of another
plate as they do in fine restaurants. They can be purchased for about $2.00
for 30. A very inexpensive way to serve your guests in this "special"
way.
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12. Serving chocolates or After Eights, etc.
with evening coffee or Brandy is very nice. Believe me, your guests will definitely feel special with this touch.
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Dessert & Coffee Party
13. A Dessert and Coffee Party is just great.
Prepare about 2-4 extra special desserts like Cheesecake, Crème
filled Crepes, Rum cake, Chocolate Torte, English Trifle, etc. I really
love these parties for they are simplified and economical. Perfect for
when I'm stressed and don't feel up to a formal sit-down dinner. Below
is a picture of this type of dessert party. In the pictures below, Rikki
and I prepared nine desserts.
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14. As a cost effective measure, an affordable idea is to buy a couple dozen good doughnuts or even "day old" pastries from the baker is great if lightly heated and served upon a paper doily.
Serve plain and flavored coffee and tea. Cheese and crackers for those
on a diet is a welcome addition, as well as fresh fruit. Don't forget your
paper doily. When I've had economic difficulties, I have entertained this
way. The association of warm friendship is the most important thing.
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KFC
15. For those who feel their cooking skills are not the best, don't fret. Go and buy KFC or Chinese food. I love KFC. Serve your chicken on a platter with a large paper doily and use lots of parsley sprigs tucked in between on the platter. Buy salads or make a nice Toss Salad. Serve with Garlic Bread.
Method: Slice a loaf of French or Italian bread. Cut not quite too the bottom. Spread each slice with butter and sprinkle with garlic powder or grated cheese. Wrap in foil and heat in 350 oven 10-15 minutes. Delicious! Buy Cole Slaw mix and add your own dressing or buy prepared cole slaw from KFC or the supermarket. Serve this KFC meal with warmth, laughter and thanksgiving. Your guests will feel "special."
Don't forget your KFC coupons!
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Accidents
16. Use your nicest tablecloth and underpad. If there is an accident, be gracious. It can be remedied by laundering. Hurt feelings can't be so easily remedied. Show class. Smile and tell them not to worry. Get a dry towel or one wetted with cold water. If we over-react, our guests will feel uncomfortable and the evening tainted. Just as important, treat our family members the same. People are more important than a tablecloth.
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16B. If someone makes a social faux
pas, such as using the wrong utensil, pretend
not to notice. Sometimes the embarrassed mate makes a comment. I only smile
and/or say something to the effect that "it's no big deal." That's because
it isn't!
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Tablecloths and Servingware 17. The most economical tablecloth is one made out of sheets. You get much more for your money due to the extensivewidth. The tablecloth that matches our "Anastasia" China isn't nearly as pretty as the sheets, and it costs $35.00cdn. Instead, I bought a Queen size set of "Anastasia" sheets. I bought "seconds" for $36.00cdn. I use the top sheet for the matching tablecloth. The "Anastasia" pattern has huge pink and black
Oriental poppies on it with touches of green. I sewed 3 inch black lace
around the edges of the sheet. I also made black napkins with 1"black lace
around the edges. It looks classy and no one has a set like it. We sleep
on the fitted one and have two pillowcases to boot. A twin or double size
is fine for smaller tables.
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17B. A beautiful table is much enhanced with lovely silver or silverplated serving utensils. The non-tarnishable is great, thus saving cleaning. Oneida, Service Merchandise and other China Outlet Stores are the best for these purchases. Oneida is great for extra stainless flatware including butter knives for each place setting.
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What happened to our hostess?
18. Spend time with your guests after the meal,
not in the kitchen. People really appreciate the presence of the
host and hostess. The dishes can wait until later or tomorrow if necessary.
To offers of help with the meal, if that is undesired, tactfully say with
a smile, "Thank you so much but I really work
better alone."
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You Weren't Invited!
19. If unexpected guests arrive, at least offer
them something to drink and/or a light refreshment. If you're having a buffet, you might want to graciously extend the invitation for them to join your guests. (Hospitality doesn't require you to invite "gate crashers", especially to a sit down meal.) Having said that, remember, the word hospitality does
mean, "love of strangers" and particularly when it is simply a matter of 'bad' timing.
A couple of years ago we invited seven guests for a formal turkey dinner. Included in this guest list was two young ladies who were roommates. When they arrived with a third roommate whom I was acquainted with. I was surprised. (I didn't show it, thank goodness.) I didn't know the third young lady had moved in and the other two girls automatically assumed she was included in the invitation. She graciously presented me a hostess gift.
With a smile and a warm welcome, I discreetly made a table adjustment, hurried to the bedroom to add another 'gift' to the gift bag.
Ever since that evening the third young lady always gives me a warm hug whenever she sees me.
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Your family is "Special?"
20. By all means treat your immediate family to a special dinner sometime, complete with candlelight, wine and your very best table settings. Who is more "special" and important in our lives than our husband, children or parents? They deserve to be treated 'special' too.
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Hey, down there, I can't
see you!
21. If you like a vase of flowers on the dinner table, except you can't "see" your guests for the flowers, here is a solution. Go to The Bombay Company and buy a 30-inch tall vase. It is most elegant and quite inexpensive at around $30.00cdn. That way you can have your flowers and not strain your neck to "see" everyone as you converse.
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Restaurant Time
22. Sometimes for different reasons we just can't accommodate friends in our home. However, we can still show hospitality by taking them to a restaurant if that is affordable. The Buffet restaurants are fantastic. You could never buy and prepare that much food for the same cost. Treating friends to dessert and coffee at special restaurants such as The Shallows at The Southway Inn on Bank St. in Ottawa, the Weston Hotel is lovely and won't break your wallet. Marchelino's Movenpick at the Rideau Centre has such European ambiance and freshly cooked home made desserts! The Shallows has a wonderful British-style Tea with all the trimmings for just under $8.00. Treating friends to casual inexpensive fast-foods at Tim Horton's, The Great Canadian Bagel Company, or MacDonald's for a snack and drink is appreciated. I like to treat someone in our car group every Saturday at "coffee break" while in service. The main thing is, we don't have to have a fancy affair or spend a lot to "give."
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The Picnic
23. I've had three children and often entertained
whole families. Now that I am older, having friends with small children
over is a challenge. To overcome that issue, we treat the whole family
to dinner at a picnic. We provide the meal and the children can run, play
and have a great time, and we can have a nice visit with the parents.
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The Children
24. For years, once a year we had a children's party in our family room. We invite the little ones (and parents) from about three to ten or older. I go to the Dollar Store (Those stores are fantastic!) and buy about 4-6 gifts per child including some candies. I also buy gift bags and write each child's name on it in clear view. Noisemakers and hats are nice if one can stand the noise and can afford it. We play games, eat, and they get their bag ONLY when it's time to go home. Put the bags in view. The kids are delightful when they see their name. Believe me you have no problem when the party is over! They want go with their bag. (It's amusing to watch their eyes during the party. They will often focus on their bag.) A funny game to play is to put different articles of clothing from all family members in a pillowcase. Include at least 1 wig, hats, long underwear, gloves, nightgowns, etc. Play music as each one passes the bag. Stop the music at irregular intervals and whoever is holding the pillowcase has to reach in and put the article on. At the end of the game take a picture or video the whole game. It is lots of fun. We have many pictures of different ones years ago when they were children at our house. An old-fashioned Sing-Song is great, especially if someone can play guitar or keyboard, etc. Below are a few websites where you can copy the lyrics of most of the old standard songs.
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Care for the Sick
25. Providing an evening meal for someone just
home from hospital, or when they are just too ill to cook is always a welcome
gesture of hospitality. I appreciate it and others have appreciated it
from me.
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Have someone for supper at
THEIR
house
26. If it is inconvenient for a friend or family
to come to our house, I have prepared food and taken it to their home,
or in some cases I have prepared it at their house.
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Circuit Overseer for breakfast???
27. That's right. If the Circuit Overseer is
booked up for lunches and dinner, and you really want to have him and his
wife, ask if they can come for breakfast. Many years ago, a dear Brother
Jackson and his wife came for a nice big southern breakfast. We then went
out in service.
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James 1:27 The form of worship...
I was a spiritual orphan at 13 years old. I
was widowed at the age of 32, with two fatherless children. Over those
many years I had very little money but always lots of food. I regularly
enjoyed having the friends in our home. (I benefited more than they did.)
So, let us not forget our widows and orphans, as well as those with unbelieving
mates in our congregations. They need our
hospitality also.
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