Got these in an email from my friend Jennn:
WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG?
polariods
WHAT DO PRISONERS USE TO CALL EACH OTHER?
cell phones
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
a stick
WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
subordinate clauses
WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
quatro sinko
WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
spoiled milk
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
frostbite
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP?
anyone can roast beef
WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
right where you left him
WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
because they have big fingers
WHAT IS A ZEBRA?
an undergarment that's 26 sizes larger that an "A' bra
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A COLLIE WITH A PIT BULL?
a dog that runs for help,,, after it bites your leg off
WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE?
because it scares the hell out of the dog
WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN THE FLAG IS AT HALF-MAST AT THE POST OFFICE?
they're hiring
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER?
the position of the dirt bag
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKY DIVER?
a bad golfer goes, WHACK ! "damn",,, a bad sky diver goes,"damn",WHACK!
HOW IS A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TEXAS DIVORCE THE SAME?
somebody's gonna lose a trailer
HOW DO YOU GET A LAWYER OUT OF A TREE?
cut the rope
HOW MANY HARVARD STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A TIRE?
two: one to hold the drinks and one to call dad