30 MARCH, 2003 - "You're the lone corn dog in a world of plain weiners"

I am on the 27th day of non-shopping for unnecessary items and it isn't actually as horrible as I thought it would be. I have to win this bet - sorry Parsons. It's a matter of my pride, my ego and two tubs of ice-cream. My mommy says I'd better win this bet, otherwise the boys will think I'm too expensive to go out with. I told her to talk to the boy who takes taxis to Yorkville.

Ivana Santilli is AWESOME! That's all there is to it - quadrasonic was amazing, even though the whole quadrasonic thing didn't happen. ahhh, false advertising at its best. muchos gracias to Marianne who got me out of the house when I was moaning about being tired! Other choices: Morcheeba, Common and Lisa Stansfield, Little Louis Vega (thanks Dharshan!!!). I love it how my memory is so fleeting that I can have 8 life goals each day and not remember the previous one, nor that my life has been completed 7 times already in the past 24 hours.

So my shower thoughts today - guys, and not to be discriminatory in any way... girls too, should have blinking subtitles above their heads which flash what they are really thinking. It would really make life a whole lot easier. No longer would us girls wait by the phone to figure out if the boy who we aren't really interested in but think is mondo hot (eg. not UNSEXY at all) is interested in us, and there would be no confusion in the world. There could be bright flashing "I'm a jerk", "Commitmentphobe", "I'm a cheap date" signs! And girls could have "No, I'm NOT interested in you and if you let that ruin our friendship by thinking that I am, I will shoot you now... get off your damn highhorse". Life would be peachy. A crowd of three people would start to look like a Las Vegas showtune. There could even be musical accompaniment!! And then I realized, if I had a bright flashing light above my head, I'd be so concerned with trying to think something that would be misguiding to the other person, as not to unveil my true feelings, that I would forget to read the other signs. Thus, marked the end of my almost definite revolutionary idea which would take the world by storm, had I let it.

Here are my favorite things of the day:
- my denim jacket with the fur
- Jad's chocolate biscuit thingies
- urban outfitter jeans
- being able to wear sunglasses outside for the sunshine as opposed to for protection from snow.
- Presidents' Choice chicken nuggets
- online crosswords

ON PARSONS...
So the whole reason I'm doing this website updaty thingy for the first time in about 2 years is that Parsons sent me a link to his website: http://www.angelfire.com/ny5/shockwhite/ and I thought, If HE can procrastinate, then I can too! So my stupid geography paper has to write itself and I have created this UNSEXY page. Anyways, he mentioned that someone had searched google for his name and so I went and did it too. and this was one of the funnier unrelated items that I found: http://www.polak.fsnet.co.uk/chris.html"
anyways. Then I got to Parsons' old page on which he had written a rant about girls which I will include here for those unfamiliar with the boy's eloquent words, to which I HAD to write a response:

"The Girl's Residence
Living with girls is cool. I spent a week in the girls' residence...and it's nice in there. I swore that I wouldn't leave. But seriously, everything there is cool. I mean, their room are clean, their carpets don't smell like puke, every night someone is baking cookies and they read magazines with pictures of HOT girls all over. Why the hell do I need to buy Maxim when I can just go over to a girl's place and check out Rachael Leigh Cook in a hot tank top? But whatever... I think the best thing about living with girls is that they smell nice. It's nice to wake up to something that isn't your buddy puking in the toilet or hallway soccer. Not that hallway soccer (or frisbee) is a bad thing... it's sweet, but it's just that hanging out with girls has some sweet benefits. I can sacrifice a little hallway frisbee for that. Oh yeah, and another thing about living with girls - their washrooms are nice!!! I mean, did you know that they actually have floors that aren't drenched with urine because some guy couldn't aim? And they have hooks for you to hang your towel on when you shower! And they have shower curtains!!! Damn ... I seriously don't know why I left. Oh yeah, they kicked me out. Something about eating all their porridge, sitting in their chairs and sleeping in their beds."

The Boys' Residence

Living with boys is cool. My sessions are not as acute as Parsons' week with the girls, but rather they are more of the static, yet chronic observations over the period of a nearly two years. I like the boys' residence. There are posters, and pretty pictures, and blood stains on the walls after spring deports. Sometimes they are smelly and orange, with lava lamps that don't quite work unless you leave them on for 4 hours to warm up, but that just makes the room all warm and toasty - and they always supply you with a pair of comfy pajama pants to lounge around in. These pajama pants are just about the most underrated item in the whole of the residence, they come in many different colors and patterns, but no matter what they look like, they allow much space for your ass to spread and be freed from the hip-hugging jeans that you have to wear to get any attention around campus. Although sometimes "ass" attention isn't the best thing where my old roommate Melly is concerned. You gotta watch out for her - she has a practiced buttsqueeze and twist action that puts any guy in a nightclub to shame for their inexperienced technique. But that's not the point here. Boys residence. Hanging with boys is sweet. They're hot, you get to rearrange their wardrobes and feel like you've accomplished something that will further add to your karma, and they are always up for getting food. They walk you home at night even when they're more trashed than you are, and their beds seem to be a bit more springy. They don't take 5 hours to get ready to go out at night and they don't sit and whine about boys all day long. Why don't I just move in? Oh yes, I would miss my double bed and my building's elevator. I don't care what anyone says - 4 flights of stairs is enough to constitute a skyscraper.

Alrighty, so here is what I have been thinking about lately. War is stupid. So stupid in fact, that I got off of my ass and wrote a letter to Jean Chretien as well as participated in anti-war rallies. This is ME, who is so unbiased on all issues. Here is a copy of my letter:

25 March, 2003

Prime Minister Chrétien,

It is somewhat naïve to believe that this will reach you, however I will try nonetheless. I am a citizen of Canada and Australia, born in Toronto where I currently reside. I am a proud to be Canadian because of your decisions concerning the war in Iraq. I participated in the recent anti-war rallies in downtown Toronto as I feel that this war was not declared for the right reasons. It comes down to the fact that there is prosperity and natural resources in Iraq and that it is in America’s economic interest to interfere in the political situation of that region. Why Iraq and why not 12 years ago? There will always be corrupt leaders, and it becomes a question of when it becomes a foreigner’s business.

Attempting to save a people by implementing a democratic governing system is useless: who will be left when the killing is done to participate in this democracy? How can this democracy work when President Bush won’t even listen to his citizens who are speaking out against war? Is this a war of reforming a “backward” society, as pro-war activists claim, or is it a war of pride? America, not once, paused to reflect on why a horrendous attack such as 9/11 occurred. How can a people hate another people – so much that they would wish to inflict such pain to civilians? It was not just a casual idea thought up during Saturday afternoon tea, that’s for sure. Such hatred has a source and reason, and whether justified or not, reformation of any society should begin at home.

America has bombed and left numerous countries war-torn and desolate. I lived in Asia for several years and during trips to Vietnam, Laos and Myanmar, I saw the destruction of wonderful lands, and met people whose normal lives had been rendered useless because of the war. I’ve worked with adults and children who are handicapped both mentally and physically because of the bombs and Agent Orange, to name two of many atrocities of both sides; and they are the lucky ones who survived. I’ve seen malformed embryos in bottles, booby traps that would tear off limbs and it makes me shudder to think that there could be that much hate in this world.

I read on the CBC website that the Canadian government has been attacked by Stephen Harper of the Canadian Alliance as well as the American Ambassador to Canada and I trust that the government will do what is morally right. This is America’s fight and it is not a matter of which country is a friend to which country, because that is how a dispute escalates into a world war – simply a lot of promises that must be followed through with. Canada is indeed a separate country and the war I believe our country is fighting is against terrorism and not against a leader who has a lot of money.

My stance is that if President Bush feels that this cause of overthrowing Saddam Hussein is so important that he would send his countrymen out to their deaths – then it must be a cause that he himself would die for. And if that is the case, then why isn’t he with his men in the trenches? His belief in this cause comes from a pretty white house surrounded by guards, administration and paper work. What gives any man the right to send another out to possible death? I urge you and your government to stand strongly by the stance that you have taken. American law stands by the motto “Innocent until proven guilty”. Why does it only work internally? If the attack had come from the middle of the United States as with the Oklahoma bombings, they would find the perpetrators and they would give out a fitting punishment. They would not, under any circumstances, blow Texas apart to find the culprit.

Asking for peace from billions of people around the world is youthful and impossible when there are so many human inconsistencies, however, what does violence accomplish? When peace rallies turned violent, people were arrested. Bombing and violence of any kind will only drive us farther from unity. Will they only be tired of fighting once they have blown the world up and there is no one left to fight? Evolution must have failed us at some point to cause us to come to this. Strength and peace to you, sir, in this time when we all need a little hope. Thank you for your time.

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