If you are from the northern states and planning on
visiting or moving to the South,
there are a few things you should know that will help
you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic.
Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with
a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along directly... Don't try to help them,
just stay out of their way.
This is what they live for!!!

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait
in the same store. (Do not buy food at this store.)
If you buy any 'nabs,' check for mites or worms...

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is
plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

You may hear a Southerner say "Oughta" to a dog or child.
This is short for "Y'all oughta not do that"
and is the equivalent of saying "No"

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying.
(They can't understand you either.)

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol,"
as in big'ol truck" or "big'ol boy."
Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced
dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it...

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim
"Hey, y'all, watch this..."
stay out of the way!
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own
their own shotguns and are proficient marksmen.
Or that their mammas taught them how to aim...

In the South,
you might see some houses with hubcaps on the fence...
These are Southern Car Buffs...

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes...
The South has 'mater samiches

The North has coffeehouses...
The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services...
The South has family reunions

The North has switchblade knives...
The South has Lee Press-on Nails...axes

The North has double last names
The South has double first names

The North has Singing...
The South has Alan Jackson

The North has the Mafia
The South has KKK and shotguns...

The North has Indy car races...
The South has Darlington, South Carolina
(Way to go, Cale...)

The North has Cream of Wheat or Oatmeal...
The South has grits and red-eye gravy

The North has green salads...
The South has collard greens and chitlins

The North has lobsters...
The South has crawdads

The North has Distilleries, Breweries, and liquor stores-
The South has stills, shine, and them Ridgerunners...

The North has the rust belt...
The South has the Bible Belt

The North has Christ...
The South has Sweet Jesus

The North has Romance...
The South has Real Love

I did not write all of this...just some...
Don't know who wrote the rest !