What is it to be truly satisfied, does one over know,
I sit and I wonder if I’d, ever be complete and would it show?
And what would it take to reach such a height, how would I ever see,
What form would it take, my own it might, myself it could be.
I hope so and pray each night, and work every day to try to reach this,
But being unhappy among the fright, takes its toll when I don’t see my wish.
Terrible thoughts enter my mind, as I look at myself,
And capture a view that is not very kind, and is sickened with my health.
Why is it so hard to become what we must, and why does it have to be so easy to fall,
Into temptation and then I lose all trust, that I will ever be satisfied when death makes its call.
I seek motivation at every corner, and look for strength at every sunrise,
but by sunset I feel it no longer, lost with the fall of unfortunate cries.
Im searching far and wide, for the motivator to last,
And believe me I’ve tried, take a look into my past.
But its never been good enough, evidence with a mirror, and a simple glance down,
But my sight would be much clearer, if contentment would simply resound,
In my ear and fill me up inside, and let my mind have some relaxation,
And the real Ben can again reside, that will be my satisfaction.
But I think to myself, will it be real,
Will I come off my shelf, and finally feel,
What has eluded my grasp, and to be complete with oneself and content in demeanor,
Yet deeper than appearances and makes women ask - to see a man much clearer.
Maybe then they will see that which makes me - me, a hidden man that no one deserves,
Nor desire to see, but anticipatory and predicated on my ability….....and they say I have nerve…
Why must it be my talents and my know-how, in order for them to learn,
Why must I always be the teacher now, the one then destined to burn,
Inside and be infuriated, by people who can’t understand and must be given my compass,
In order for them to know that they fabricated, I’m just so tired of all this,
Tired of explaining how their view is off, and my painstaking measures are taken,
Simply to show that their stand is soft, and their attempts to fool me are forsaken.
Must you go the route to mislead, when you know I will see through it all,
And in turn, off you -I feed, from that thirst I then have to watch you and your explanations fall.
I admit when I am wrong, but why must I be the one to direct the epiphany,
It takes so long, and the returns I receive do not equal the zest it takes from me,
I’m through with trying to explain, who I am, and the views I possess,
That are wasted in utter vain, as soon as my thoughts leave my breath.
They fall on deaf ears I’ve come to see, and that people are going to do whatever they are going to do,
Regardless of any information and thoughts provided by me, I’m done with showing the other shoe.
It’s time to be Ben, and focus on myself and stop waiting, to try to be completed by someone who understands when no one tries,
It’s pathetic to rely on those simply relating, and have no idea what it really is - that truly satisfies…