I see...I see the light..
The light stings.  Is it not life.
  It is.. .humiliation.
Destruction.
Pain…
It is my 'friend'…
Walking.. head high, while I sit and wonder why.
Why the loss, why they would leave me.
I feel the hate, I feel the emptiness….
I wonder if I am alone.
I know that no one can feel this too.
It is hurt.
Like the grasping of the hot iron cast, that now sets upon my bosom.
The…. Loss.
The sadness.
The fall from grace that I once knew.

"Another day, another dollar."  That saying passes my mind.
Nothing does it do for I see not was I see.
I feel not what I feel.
I taste the bread of each day, and it tastes.. like..
The inside of my heart.
Emptiness…. nothing
Death have I pondered… yet.. is that even worth the moment.. the time… the loss of energy that I use to pass each pathetic day?
No, I will stay, simply for the curiosity for another moment of this new discovery of pain.

Finally, reading back upon my life.. the moments I knew so well.. the pain.. the loss..
It was not what I knew.
Now I am alive.
For the first time… ha.. for the next time.
Each moment can be a bottomless pit..
But, we can return.. others my help..
Or.. the help my lie inside…
We are we.  I am I.  Me is me.
I am alive.. I am here.. will we move on, into the fear?  The fear is strong.. I am stronger.. Forever moving.. forever building
Forever..
Holding…
Onto..
  Me.

Torres
9/1/98