You Might Be A Computer Nerd If...



  • Your web page is more popular than you.
  • Your favorite sport is Tetris.
  • You know what fuzzy logic is.
  • You talk to your computer.
  • When given a choice, you look at Computer Shopper instead of Playboy.
  • You argue with your computer.
  • Your computer has its own phone line.
  • You have dreams involving your computer.
  • You try to pick up women on chat lines.
  • You can talk to a woman about your hardware and not mean anything sexual.
  • You spend Friday nights with your computer.
  • You ask a woman for her email address instead of her phone number.
  • You've never actually met many of your friends.
  • You remember how to use DOS.
  • You think Bill Gates is "a cool guy."
  • Only computer users can understand you.
  • Your home page is longer than your resume.
  • You've ever installed Linux.
  • You've missed the X-Files because you wanted to play on your computer.
  • You always understand Dilbert.
  • You regularly drink Jolt cola.
  • You spend more time on the Internet than you do sleeping.
  • You have multiple email addresses.
  • You've ever setup a LAN in your house.
  • You understood the above statement.
  • You get Jealous when any one uses your computer
  • Your idea of hurrying is typing faster.
  • You keep spare mouse pads.
  • You buy your computer gifts.
  • You've ever been dumped for paying too much attention to your computer.
  • Someone mentions foreign language and you think "Cobol".
  • You regularly use a tape backup on files you have the original disks for.
  • You get a new computer, take it out of the box, and you immediately remove the case.
  • You have ever called home to check on your computer.
  • You do processes in DOS instead of Windows not because it is faster, but because it just confuses people.
  • You've ever considered getting a tattoo of the "Intel Inside" logo.
  • You have a pet name for your computer, but not one for your penis.
  • You know every law about computer piracy by heart, because you've been convicted on all of them.
  • You no longer interact with your family, you send them email instead; in the same house.
  • You check your email before you check your answering machine.
  • You can program the next best thing to Windows, but you still can't get your VCR to stop flashing.
  • You have more insurance on your computer than on your children.
  • You receive more chat requests than phone calls.
  • You stopped paying for call waiting because it kept knocking you off-line.
  • You don't immediately go into gibbering panic when you hear of a new computer virus.
  • You've ever emailed your assignment in to your professor.
  • You've ever tried to see how far you can move the mouse without turning off the screen saver.
  • You have dialed 911 and faxed them your problem.
  • You call in sick to work over your computer.
  • Your first aid kit contains Norton's Anti-Virus.
  • You know what the acronyms HTML, URL, ISP, and HTTP each stand for.
  • You tinker with computers at work all day, and when you finally get off work, you rush home to tinker with your computer.
  • You dedicate your home page to your favorite actress in hopes that she will see it and desire to meet you.
  • You have more than one home page.
  • The closest you ever come to having sex is downloading nude pictures off of the Internet.
  • You have a better computer system at home than at work.
  • You get jealous when other people use your computer.
  • You run back into your burning home to rescue your computer, but you leave the dog.
  • You know exactly how much hard drive space you have free, but you don't know your spouse's birthday.
  • You run Windows 95 and Windows 3.1 just because you can.
  • You have the high score on Jezz Ball.
  • You know what word 31337 stands for.
  • You keep spare computer parts around the house.



    [ Becky's Directory ] [ Nostalgic Place ] [ For a friend ]
    [ Just for girls ... ] [ Jokes Zone ] [ Home ] [ Em@il ]