I'm a very bad girl.

To be more specific, I'm a very bad vegan.

The last couple of months I've been hearing the siren song of dairy, calling to me, begging me to consume it. I try to resist it, and most of the time I do, but increasingly I've been succumbing to its tempting music.

Nothing outrageous. It's not like I'm scarfing half a gallon of ice cream in one sitting or eating whole packages of Kraft American Singles, but I have been having some ice cream here and there, or eating mashed potatoes in restaurants, or having zuccini walnut muffins from Starbucks.

I suppose to some people (make that, most people) it doesn't seem like such a big deal. And if I had originally turned vegan (hmmm, that hardly sounds appealing) for health reasons, it wouldn't be a big deal to me either.

But the truth is I consider myself an ethical vegan. I gave up all animal products because I didn't want to support an industry where the majority of animals are horribly mistreated. It just seemed easier to cut out all questionable products rather than to take the time to research which products came from farms that treat their animals humanely.

So for me to pick up a pint of Ben and Jerry's for the week, or to stop off at Baskin Robbins for a hot fudge sundae, well, it's very, very wrong and I feel horrible afterwards that I was unable to keep my resolve.

I used to say I was 98% vegan, mainly because, no matter how hard I tried, I'm sure there were instances in restaurants where there might be some dairy or eggs in something I consumed. Now that percentage is slipping to 92% and getting lower as time goes by.

I really need to find a way to shore up my resolve again. I just can't abide what I'm allowing myself to do.

I think I need to be in a relationship with another ethical vegan. Or maybe I just need some calcium pills.