Y'all must think I've abandoned you, left you to fend for yourselves in the harsh cruel elements without my words of humor and wisdom.

You'd be right. Not that I meant to do that. Last week was just quite busy and I barely had time to even sneeze in the general direction of the computer, let alone update.

Again, I apologize. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I suck.

Forgive me?

Basically I spent the first weekend in April cleaning, cleaning and even more cleaning. My place was rapidly devolving into disaster and I had tons of laundry. I do mean tons. Since I had people coming over to my place on Wednesday night for a Reiki attunement (more on that later) I had to get everything whipped into shape.

I became the Laundry Queen. With four huge containers of sheets, blankets, towels and assorted other pieces of fabric that were not worn or used often, I could hardly stop by the folks and commandeer their machines. So off to the laundrymat I went. Took three hours a shot (Saturday and Sunday) and a fortune in quarters (though less than I originally thought), but by the end of the weekend the only dirty laundry in the house was the set of sheets that I took off the bed Sunday night.

Even more amazing, all of the laundry was put away. I'm terrible about leaving clean clothes in the hamper for days on end, before getting off my lazy ass and putting them away. Not this time, baby.

I knew very little about Reiki before last Wednesday, and though I'm fascinated by alternative medicine, I'm also heartily skeptical, but J., my friend that set up the class, swore by Reiki. So I thought, "What the hell."

The class was led by a woman G.,who's been a Reiki healer for many years. She went through some of the history, then led her four students, all women (me, J., P., whom I've met more than a few times, and R., who was a new acquaintance), through a guided meditation.

I hadn't meditated in a very long time, let alone had a guided one, and it was quite wonderful. Imagining the meadows and rivers always calms me, and makes me wonder why I don't meditate more often.

After the meditation ended and we shared our experiences, G. prepared the living room and had the four of us sit on chairs lined up in a row. Then she, well, attuned us. Very interesting and very difficult to explain. It wasn't a healing or relaxation technique. The attunement allows us to perform Reiki on others.

G. finished the attunement, we once again shared our experience (it can be very emotional, and was for P.) and G. set up her massage table so that we could practice "scanning". I hopped up on the table first and the other ladies proceeded to scan me.

First of all, all of their hands very warm. Very warm. There was no touching involved, as the hands are kept a minimum of two inches above the body, but I could feel incredible heat radiating from their hands. R. stopped by my left hip and concentrated in that area for a bit, then proclaimed, "I feel a lot of heat right here." (Hot spots on the body usually indicate some sort of problem in that area.) Everyone else walked over and checked out my hip, murmurring in agreement. Pretty amazing, since I've been having problems with my left hip for over six months and I've told almost no one about it. (Except all of you guys.)

After a while I switched places with someone else and tried my hand (get it? ha?) at scanning. Eventually we all got the chance to be scanned. I felt a few warm spots, but it was hard to tell, and I have a feeling that I'm not very good at it. Maybe I just need to practice more. But the other gals absolutely nailed problem areas on each other. Very fascinating.

Eventually the evening wound down and everyone left. I'm a bit more convinced about the validity of Reiki, and would be willing to work on it more, maybe even go for a Reiki healing. Couldn't hurt. Besides, since last week my hands, which are normally cold and the tiniest bit clammy (poor circulation) have been warm and dry. Not just warm, but warm in an odd way. I'll admit that it's possible that the power of mind over body may play a part in that, but I wouldn't entirely discount G.'s influence.

Paging has pretty much wound down for the season. Both 3rd Rock and 70s Show are done for this season. I paged for Arista's 25th Anniversary special on Monday and got home after midnight (the bosses let me go early, the taping didn't end until 1:30 am). It was great to see Sarah McLachlan, Annie Lennox and Santana play live (Annie and Carlos absolutely rocked), and some of the other acts were good too.

I hate to admit it, but I actually got into...should I really tell you this?...Barry Manilow. He opened the show, sang a medley of his hits, and suddenly I was a musically naive 12 year old again. And when he got to Weekend in New England I was lost. I don't care how old and cynical I get, that song will always turn me into blubbering, overly romantic pre-teen.

(As opposed to a blubbering, overly romantic adult?)

I need to put my Tryin' To Get the Feeling Again 45 record on my turntable. Why, oh why don't I have Weekend in New England on vinyl?

It's been busy on the birthday front, too. I totally glossed over bro Bob's birthday on March 14th. He's 33 (we're the same age until [ahem] April 25th). Then bro Randy turned 36 on April 3rd, and sis Lisa hit 32 on April 6th. A friend of mine had his baby that day, too. That is to say, his wife had the baby. No Billy Crystal thing going on there.

And as I alluded to before, my birthday is April 25th. That's right, in 13 days I'll be *gulp* 34 years old. WooHoo! I still stop short when I remember that I'm in my 30's, let alone about to hit my mid-30's, but recently a fellow page told me, in no uncertain terms, that there was no way in hell I was in my 30's. It took a gander at my driver's license to convince her.

Since my birthday is rapidly approaching, I thought I should inform you that all well-wishes, cards, presents and money will be gracefully accepted. I wouldn't want to insult anyone.

I've also been helping bro Bob out with his business, organizing and data entry and the like. Perfect timing, since I'll be losing income from paging, and he needs the help.

He even wants me to help him put together a newsletter, which I've never done before. Hey, one more thing on my resume!

Remember when I mentioned last time that I was going to start exercising regularly? Remember how you laughed at that statement?

(You can admit it, I know you laughed. You probably thought it was the funniest thing you'd ever read in a journal. Maybe even on the web. Maybe the funniest thing ever. That's ok, I can take it.)

Well, I've actually started exercising.

(Hello? Are you still there? Oh dear, where did I put my smelling salts?)

It started on Friday, when I went home for lunch and just felt like exercising. A little aerobic work, a little stretching. I liked it. It was fun.

Then Saturday I went for a 45 minue walk. It was a beautiful day, sunny, warm, but not too warm, with just a hint of a breeze. Sunday saw me walking for 45 minutes again, in the same gorgeous weather. Monday morning I woke early enough to pop in a Tony Little tape. Yes, the man is annoying, but the entire body work-out, with his little barbell people marking the time, is perfect for a beginner like me. Tuesday I had to recuperate, because my ankles were killing me due to insufficient stretching over the weekend and wearing 3" heels on Monday, but this morning I went for a lovely 35 minute walk.

So I think I'll alternate walking and aerobics. And now that I've told anyone who stumbles upon my journal that I'm an exercising fool, I'm more inclined to keep up with it.

Now why are you laughing?

Monday night Larry Linville passed away from complications from pneumonia.

My sympathies to his family and friends.

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, Larry. You gave many of us the gift of laughter. Thank you.

It's now time for...

Rob's not a Martha Stewart fan. Who'd-a thunk?