I had started an entry last week regarding the revival of my car and its need for new brakes. I was also going to talk about my weekend trip to San Diego at the end of July and my day spent at Disneyland on August 7th, where the wonder of a child lifted the veil of cynicism from my eyes, if only for a moment.

But this past week has proved to be a bit of a rollercoaster for two very dear friends and my thoughts are filled with them and their families.

I have to write about them.

On Friday I was working at my desk, eager for the day to end, when I got a collect phone call. It was from Risa. I accepted the charges, got the number of where she was, and immediately called her back. Her voice was faint and tired.

"You have a new niece."

"Oh, Risa, that's wonderful!"

We talked for about thirty minutes. When she described the delivery my entire body went numb. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that it was a very difficult delivery. Images of the infamous ER episode flit (flitted?) across my mind. Fortunately, this story had a happy ending, and Risa and little H.G. and Joe are doing fine. But hearing about it after the fact filled me with both terror and numbness. It wasn't until much later that the full impact of Wednesday's events really hit me.

As I was talking to Risa, in different state another very dear friend sat with his mother and siblings and watched as his father passed away. I received the e-mail at 1:30am this morning, after getting home from my parents' place.

I wrote him back immediately, but despite my words, I felt so helpless. I feel so helpless. Two of my closest friends were going through horribly difficult experiences hundreds of miles away and I could do nothing for them. I couldn't be there for them. I couldn't hold them in my arms and stroke their hair and soothe their pain. All I can do is write and speak words of sympathy and support and hope that's enough, while knowing that my words will never be sufficient, will never truly convey the depths of my emotions.

In one instance, there was a very happy ending. In the other, a very sad one. I'm elated by the happy ending and grieved by the sad one. But those words, elated and grieved, barely scrape at my feelings, and remind me that language, one of the most powerful weapons we have at our command, is also one of the weakest.

Luckily, these two people know me very well.