Pterodactylman recommends
THIS weird music today...
pterodactylman�s
haiku are like one liners
only there are three
in the knitting room
old folks are sharing needles
never hearing aids
Walt Disney once said
it�s a small world after all
now HE�S in a fridge
I lift up your head
and you respond with sweetness
my pez dispenser
under starry skies
forever�s not hard to see
look at the black bits
went to a drag race
wearing women�s clothes got booked
negligee driving
caf� with duel themes
The Beatles... and bush tucker
sign says�Yabbi Road�
3am again
craving for a piece of cheese
beats just lying there
am I still dreaming
of wanting to be stolen?
somebody..pinch me
formed a self-help group
for people that can't shut up
on an'on anon
in car rear windows
little dogs with nodding heads
fREAk OuT-on speed humps
nearly legless now
men in strange Hawaiian shirts
cook spit-on a pig
giraffe-necked women
preparing for a blind date
with the plate-lipped men
all those dead boring
subtle necrophiliacs
just flirting with death
quick meditation
hurry up and relax
then slow down and fast
the 'tunnel Of love'
leads to 'the funnel of flesh'
then ~ ' oven of bun '
swapping grunts and moans
philosophical lovers
wonder who came first
drivers swear and curse
at not-so-merry-go-rounds
near not-so-free-ways
raiding the chookshed
the cunning little vixen
gets egg on her face
misplaced chocolates
melting into comfy chairs
destined for white clothes
don't procrastinate
stuff a lipstick in your ear
and make-up your mind
insurance sales reps
teaching old dogs new tricks
with rollover funds
Sally Boyden songs
sometimes remind me of you
lucky I'm deaf now
the force of nature
bamboo shoots ask no questions
shh-hear panda-moan-yum
Charlz Schulz when he died
guaranteed no cartoonist
would work for Peanuts
Jerusalem News
just discovered The Dog Shroud
Of Turintintin
oil burner flickers
as mandarin steam rises
the chihuahua snores
shh!- did you hear that?
-sounds like air escaping - SHH!!
there it is again
went to the fish shop
where they serve the battered wives
with chicken assault
liquid warble of
blackbird bursting under-wheel
of semi-trailer
On hot summer nights
insomniacs flip pillows
onto their cool sides
bathing in baked beans
he subs-tit-utes cheese for soap
Raj adultery
(The Who?)
blood-curdling yelps
as the male great dane impales
chihuahuas on heat
everything in
moderation including
the moderation
everything in
moderation including
chihuahuas on heat
blind children eating
spotty broth using fingers
braille alphabet soup
wet tyre sounds outside
on a cold rainy morning
whisper "should...sleep...in..."
cartoon the full moon
especially in late june
�round about midnight
thin thoughts of China
drawn from a fat memory
of blurry visions
drinking cool water
trying not to think
fish fuck in this stuff
internet lounges
use virtual furniture
in web of d`seat
visually challenged
foot fetishists
getting off
on wrong foot again
burnt my bra today
and my only regret is
I was wearing it
the circus vampire
works fast-doesn't clown around
goes for the juggler
mobile phones on trains
getting smaller all the time
I shove them up bums
brave polystyrene
relaxing on a beanbag
takes a lot of balls
hairs are antenni
attracting cosmic thought rays
AND BRAIN ENERGY!
integrate the true
delineate the divine
seperate the front bottom
PTERODACTYLMAN�S K-TIKU:
wooden buddha mask
smiles down from a pale blue wall
kookaburras laugh
in k-ti's guest room
laughter and sunlight merge with
my afternoon dreams
under mermaid's cave
a symphony of water
played on rocks and ferns
A slow shooting star
swallowed quickly by the night
silently I wish
red rose-candle burns
the only sound ~ her breathing
as tall shadows dance
pork bun for breakfast
chip butties in the evening
with love-in between
~written @ K-ti's Guest House
Mt Victoria N.S.W.
in Sept'99
PTERODACTYLMAN'S SPRINGWOODKU:
Norm Lyndsay's backyard
stone tits , bums and bellies
squirt water at ducks
the sound of crickets
gets drowned by the cicadas
in The Sea Of Scickkkkkkkk
vague profanities
heard from a distant gum tree
escaped cockatoo
PTERODACTYLMAN'S SPAMKU:
windchime made of Spam
hanging outside my window
plip� plip-plip� plip�plip
Hamlet's dilemna:
two Spam or not two Spam -
- that is digestion
cut slot in top
suck out meat- fill up with coins
D.I.Y. Spam bank
turned the tinned meat key
suddenly lost interest
short attention spam
PTERODACTYLMAN'S CATKU:
feeling serena
when I give a cat massage
on sunlit back porch
cat gives shiatsu
whilst enjoying a backrub
acupuncture claws
hid cat in full bin
to protect her from cousins
next day-gasping cat
over furniture
he circled the loungeroom
marijuana cat
...and on a considerably less
aesthetically pleasing note...
PTERODACTYLMAN�S FARTKU:
Brittney Spears farts
so close to my eyes they smart
Yet- I- still- - love- - her
spurious fragrance
a repugnant bean perfume
pull my winged-finger
"Better than a thousand useless haiku �
�is a single haiku which brings peace."
-Pterodactylman
-with inspiration from �The Dharmapada�
BIZARRE CULT COMIC BOOK CHARACTER
PTERODACTYLMAN'S
LONG AWAITED
MOTION PICTURE SCRIPT!!!
Of
PTERODACTYLMAN
SCENE # 2 / SHOT #6 DAYTIME /EXTERIOR (Mt Fuji,Japan)
(Go on ...YES... YOU! INSERT YOUR alternative ending NOW!)
simply EMAIL PTERODACTYLMAN...
"All ideas will be shown BELOW!"