Missile Tech

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I think Mr. Tootill (Missile Tech to Mess Cook) fills the request below.

 

I'm looking for a bubble-headed, dolphin wearing, bug-juice drinking, bird-cage checking, tritium monitoring, TFR writing, techno-trained missile monkey.

One who is an expert on ignition invertor installation, and knowledgeable about these things: OBA, EAB, 4MC, JCP, AN/PDR 27 & 56, HY80, NTPI, NWAI, DASO, MHC, MCC, COB, COW, OOD, WSRT, 1SQ, 2SQ, 4SQ, A-3, C-3, TRMPS, TMPS, KMA, & SMUT.

While referring to the newly installed, guidance system storage containers, the guy I'm looking for said, "Don't paint them black cuz they won't work!"

I'm looking for a guy that knows LOS doesn't stand for "legislate oral sex" and that IMP is more than just a mischievous spirit.

I'm looking for a guy that chuckles to himself whenever he still hears the words HOT WHEELS and JEEP.

I'm looking for a guy that thinks of extraordinary times from years past whenever the digital clock reads 6:54 AM or 6:54 PM. It's the only place in the world where laundry queen and a smut king can reign together but are never as well-known as the clown that blows a shitter inboard.

I'm looking for a guy that knows that HML-56 went by the wayside when "shocks-to-launch" and inner-missile tubes became out dated, but HML-16 continued to hold its own, not to mention all that hydraulic pressure to boot.

I'm looking for a guy that thinks "pain-in-the-ass" when he hears the words close out or weapon's officer.

I'm looking for a guy that not only knows what a lock-wire pliers is, but could actually still use it even though he hasn't seen one in over 20 years.

I'm looking for a guy who hasn't heard the terms Interlocks I and Interlocks II in years but it actually brings back a memory. Someone that understands umbilicals are not just for babies.

I'm looking for a guy that can still remember the days when antelope meant more than a hollow-horned ruminant. And that a closure and a diaphragm might serve the same purpose but they were very different in appearance and weight, and never used on sex night.

I'm looking for a guy that might still know by rote the Two-Man Rule, where to vent the hovering system, and that "the tit falls out in the third real." (If it never falls out, it's a dogshitter!)

I'm looking for some one who can make a six-cup bug-juice run without spilling a drop. Someone not afraid to accept the challenge of a thought provoking oolee. Someone that can fondly recall midrats of horsecock & green jell-o or a fine meal of shit-on-a-shingle. Or a night of gluttony and sinful indulgence called Surf and Turf.

I want to talk to someone about Alert One, Station the Maneuvering Watch, and Rig Ship for Reduced Electrical. I want to discuss the workings of a trip valve, breather valve, and a pneumatically operated proportioning valve.

I want to talk about the under-the-hatch valve and the ballast control valve. I want to talk again to someone that knows the number of security locks on a missile tube and interlock rod when Condition 4SQ is set. Someone who can adjust pressure switches, fix leaks, trouble-shoot using one-line diagrams, and follow ones and zeros through and, or, nand, & nor gates making use of Boolean Algebra.

As a short-timer, did you deface the inside of a couple of missile tubes with graffiti that included peace symbols, the ever popular FTN, insightful tidbits such as Vacuum cleaners suck but the navy blows," "I'm so short that I have to carry a ladder wherever I go," "If I had as much time left as you do, I'd kill myself!" or "I'm so short even Chief Kovack has to bend down to look me in the eye!" and did you even have the cujunas to include your name?

Dale Dickhausen ex MT1(SS) GCM RULES!