Sup folks... y'all are either here cause you came here on purpose... or you got here by accident... either way your here, and thats all I give a damn about. Before ya read anything here, read the warning...
                                                WARNING!
                                                ACHTUNG!
                                                AVERTISSEMENT!
                                                 ALERTA!
                                                 AVVERTIMENTO!
                                                AVISO!

      1) Pirate Dan is not responsible for any stupid things that you may do
          after visiting this page. Do NOT operate heavy machinery, give
          lectures on the history of corduroy shorts, or perform orthopedic
          surgery for 8 hours after visiting this page.
      2) Pirate Dan does NOT advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, or solvents
          in order to obtain a higher plain of consciousness. He DOES advocate
          achieving that the old fashioned way... idiotic foolish injury and death
          defying accidents and stunts.
      3) If you've made this far, then this is kinda of redundant and a waste of
          my prowess in typing, but who gives a damn, I like reading my own
          words cuz I got an ego the size of a VW Beetle (hey I improved, it used
          to be the size of a VW Van)... DONT take yourself so damn seriously...
          aka rule 62 (inside joke)


                    I got an uncle who has a PhD in Law, (but can't practice law,
                    never passed the Bar exam, dont ask me how that is possible)
                    so I know to cover my bases... so if any of you go get high on
                    a varnish/lysol cocktail and then lose your leg trying to saddle a
                    dog for a nice ride in the country after visiting here,
                                               dont try suing me .

ON WITH THE FRICKING SHOW!
And now...