Wake Up!
by Princess
Translated by Veronica Pelot
I woke up at the usual time, five in the morning, and started preparing for my
day. After a big yawn and a satisfying stretch I set to work for my morning bath. First
my chest, then my back, ears, tail, and finally my paws, until every hair was exactly in
the right place, and I looked my usual gorgous self. That done, I now felt the need to go
outside. This required the assistance of one of my humans, of course. I pondered for a
moment who's help I should get this time.
Happily I bounded up the stairs and into Veronica's room. I knew she would be
happy to help me. But of course, she was sleeping (humans are SO lazy), and I had to
wake her up. First, I sat on the floor next her bed and started with my most soft and
pitiful meow. That didn't work, but it was only the first step in my wakeup plan. Next I
jumped on the night table beside her bed. There wasn't much room up there and I
accidently knocked down the lamp. I was scared at first when it crashed on the floor, but
then I was very proud of myself because of the big noise I was able to make. I made a
mental note to do that again in the near future.
Much to my delight I had awaken Veronica. I heard her mumble something, but I
was horrified when a stuffed bear came out of nowhere and hit me square in the face,
knocking me off the table. I had never felt so undignified in all my life! I took some
more time to perfect my now ruffled hair, before I sought revenge on the viscous and
cruel bear. But let me tell you! When I got through with it their wasn't much left, just
some gray stuffings and blue fur scattered around. Damn, I'm a good cat!
My need to go outside was growing stronger now. I had to get Veronica out of her
bed! This time, I jumped directly on to her pillow, and said the loudest, most demanding,
and urgent meow I could think of, right into her ear. There was no immediate response
so I repeated it again and again. At last she stirred, but only enough to knock me off the
bed, and then she was asleep again.
I was getting really mad now. I started scratching the carpet in my frustration, and
was dismayed when one of my dangerous and razor sharp claws got stuck. I pulled and
pulled and cried and pulled until at last I was able to free my snow white dainty paw
from the grip of the evil carpet. I smiled when I saw the big long string I had pulled out,
for it would be fun to play with later. Actually, the more strings I pulled out, the more fun
I could have later, so I dug my claws in and quickly pulled out a few more. I was having
so much fun that I found myself purring. But Veronica STILL wasn't awake.
I had one last plan. I jumped on to the bed, walked up to her pillow, and on to her
face. I walked back and forth across her face, meowing a little tune to myself, and
purring as loud as I could. At last! She was awake. I got out of the way in time so she
couldn't just knock me off. Now it was time for my innocent, pittiful meow again. I
went to the door and repeated it over and over and over. Success! She was getting out of
bed! I knew she wouldn't be able to resist me because I am just so unbelievably cute and
sweet.
She scared my for a moment though, when she tripped over the lamp (remember,
because they are inferior, humans cannot see in the dark) and she said some pretty awful,
mean sounding things, that I think were swears. I knew she didn't mean them, though;
humans are just grumpy in the mornings. Then she turned on the light and I smiled at her
while she looked around, obviously impressed at what I had done to her room. I had
known she would like it.
There was not much time to admire my handiwork though, because I REALLY had
to go outside NOW! With a few more meows, I had Veronica following me down the
stairs and to the door. Finally I was let outside.
I enjoyed myself so much that morning that I repeated the same routine the next
morning, and the next. Right to this day I still follow my routine.The only part I have
had to change, is now I have to open the door to Veronica's bedroom first, but don't
worry, it isn't difficult. Nothing is too difficult for me, Princess, the queen of all
cats!
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