Fun Stuff and Pet Merchandise

Just For Fun

From Lori

Doggie Dictionary

LEASH:

A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:

Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL:

Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:

A social custom to use when you greet other dogs.

GARBAGE CAN:

A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES:

Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS:

This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER:

This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET:

This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.

SOFAS:

Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH:

This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN:

Every good dog's response to the command "sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP:

The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP:

A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require..... especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE:

Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

If you have any ideas or want to know something in general, email me privately. The more questions, the more polls....

You know you are a dog person when.......

You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.

Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.

You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies. The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.

You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.

Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.

You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.

Your dog sleeps with you.

You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but she understands.

Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not immediately afterward, of course).

You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.

You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.

You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.

You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.

You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.

You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go to the movies with your sweetie.

You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you.

You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for pick-ups pops out.

You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip-deep in water.

You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).

You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.

Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.

Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.

You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.

You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).

You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.

You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.

You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.

You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs her walk.

You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.

Your parents refer to your pet as their granddog.

Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.

Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).

You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first floor...).

Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.

You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too).

You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all her favorite spots.

You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.

You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.

You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.

And the number one reason you know you're a dog person: Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site!

Submitted by Lori, Penny & Munchkin

(RotnDogs@tempabay.rr.com)

Doggie Picture Puzzle

Submitted by Judy

MinPinSB@aol.com

RufRuf.com - Puppy Resources Put your Min Pin Photo and Bio on this site
All Breed Dog Photo Contest
ANIMALbytes -------- animal wallpaper, cursors,…
ThePoop.com - Say Treats! Dog Photo Contest

Submitted by Nancy (BAM59@aol.com)

Click here: The World-Wide Web Virtual Library: Animal health, well-being and rights

Click here: The World-Wide Web Virtual Library: Veterinary Medicine (Biosciences)

Click here: Woodside Veterinary Hospital: Pet Pictures

Click here: PetStation -- all about pets, dogs, cats, birds, reptiles, amphibians, small mammals, rabbits, ferrets, horses, fi

Click here: PetStation - Funny Bones

Click here: Notes From the Vet: Don't Hesitate Vaccinate

Click here: Songs for Dogs and Songs for Cats

Click here: A dogs Prayer

Things we can Learn From our Dog... Submitted by Tina & Annie MyAnnie2@aol.com * When family members come home, drop what you're doing and run to greet them. * Let others know when they have invaded your territory. * Take naps; stretch before rising. * Run, romp, and play daily. * Eat with gusto and concentration. * Be loyal. * Never pretend to be something you're not. * If what you want lies buried, di until you find it. * When someone is having a bad day - be silent, sit close, and nuzzle him or her gently. * Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. * When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. * No matter how often you're scolded, never pout. Run right back and make friends. * Delight in the simple joys of a long walk. - Unknown -

OK gang do all of us qualify for this awsome duty? Judy and FMcNBs

Are you truly ready for a dog? This is a test that every Potential Puppy Owner (PPO) must pass and, after passing, will be given a license to begin learning about the breed of their choice.

No physical force, yelling, or cursing is allowed during the test. Protective clothing or soil-proof clothes are not allowed. Small wounds and scratches are to be handled in a blase' manner.

Tests will be held in a variety of environments and PPO will enter brush, woods etc with a happy face.

Any PPO seen wiping dog hair or saliva off their clothing will not pass.

The tests:
PPO must control a highly stimulated 10 month old male GSD puppy. PPO must be able to get the dog to do a down in two minutes. Flat buckle collar and nylon lead only.

PPO must stand between a 14 month old Golden Retriever and a field. The handler of the puppy will then throw a ball directly into the path of the Golden. PPO must stand their ground and take their clobbering in good nature.

PPO must serve dinner to 6 rottweiler puppies, not older than 6 months and not younger than 4 months. PPO must not spill the food and the puppies will not be held in any stay position.

PPO must quiet 1 Miniature Pinscher, 4 Shelties, or 6 Pomeranians, when the doorbell rings.

PPO has two minutes and the puppies must have been handled previously by a breeder immune to the noise who lives in the middle of nowhere.

PPO must hold their ground with 10 Jack Russels chasing an animal they perceive as prey. PPO must hold their leashes and not move more than 6 inches. No corrections may be issued, but PPO is welcome to try to distract them.

PPO must walk 2 Great Danes on ice. PPO must not move more than 100 feet.

PPO must play with a Newfoundland after the dog has been swimming in a pond. They must attempt to dry themselves with a dishtowel. At no time will the PPO appear disgusted.

PPO must leave 3 Huskies alone in their home, uncrated, for 3 hours.

PPO is allowed to cry upon return.

PPO must groom an adult male collie blowing coat completely within 25 minutes, ears, nails, teeth and coat. The dog will have been recently bathed to give PPO a fighting chance.

PPO must fit a Basenji into a winter coat within 5 minutes. Basenji cannot have worn a coat before.

PPO must removes thistles from an English Setter by hand with a fine-toothed comb.

PPO must exercise a Viszla that has not been out for 2 days.

PPO must not tire out before the dog.

PPO must sleep in the same room as a bulldog. If the PPO cannot sleep, they must be happy in the morning.

PPO will navigate through 10 small dogs without stepping on one.

PPO must be able to secure a good supply of used plastic bags within 3 days.

PPO must be able to successfully get a dog to throw up in a plastic grocery bag while in the passenger seat of a car.

PPO must not die of shock when they get the vet bill for neutering a Mastiff.

PPO must sit in a closed room with two dogs that were fed broccoli and beans and exhibit no disgusted facial expressions.

PPO must vow to nurture, love, train and care for their dogs for the rest of the dog's life. PPO must accept that each dog is an individual which needs to live in a pack. PPO must vow to educate themselves about the breed of their choice and requirements expected.

PPO must vow to obtain his dog from a reputable shelter/rescue/breeder. Furthermore PPO must conduct themselves in a responsible manner, securing liberties for the rest of the dog-loving community. PPO must remain good- humored and remember that for every insane, tough moment there will be a hundred more good ones.

PPO must try to be the person that their dog thinks they are.

Dogs Bill of Rights

From: MinPinSB@aol.com

1. We have the right to be full members of your family. We thrive on social interaction, praise, and love.

2. We have the right to stimulation. We need new games, new toys, new experiences, and new smells to be happy.

3. We have the right to regular exercise. Without it, we could become hyper, sluggish, or overweight.

4. We have the right to have fun. We enjoy acting like clowns now and then. Don't expect us to be predictable all the time.

5. We have the right to quality health care. Please stay good friends with our vet.

6. We have the right to a good diet. Like some people, we don't know what's best for us. We must depend on you.

7. We have the right not to be rejected because of your expectations that we be great show animals, watch dogs, hunters, or babysitters.

8. We have the right to receive proper training. Otherwise, our good relationship could become marred by confusion and strife and we could become dangerous to ourselves or others.

9. We have the right to guidance and correction based on understanding and compassion rather than on abuse.

10. We have the right to live with dignity and to die with dignity when our time comes.

~Author unknown

Pet Merchandise