| Being open minded is usually associated with good things - like being fair, unbiased, receptive, amenable, tolerant, etc. All good qualities when used judiciously. Open-mindedness can, however, also be a negative trait. Allow me to present what the politically correct movement doesn't want you to know. Open-mindedness can be synonymous with cowardice and an inability or unwillingness to form an opinion and/or stand up for what you believe. This can be equally as useless and destructive to the fabric of society as being maliciously opinionated. It enables dependence and creates apathy and passivity. Using an extreme example for emphasis sake, while listening to a talk radio program I heard a caller defend a convicted multiple murderer. The murderer had killed an entire family of four in their own home. He didn't know them, they were just in his way. The caller was hypothesizing what childhood trauma may have caused him to commit this heinous act. She explained how society was to blame. She wondered how 'we' could pass judgment on him (even though he confessed to the crime after he was caught). This is open-mindedness to the extreme, and she was oh so politically correct. Throughout her inane ramblings were all the markers of the brainwashed. After she spouted her PC views, she was unable to answer reasonable questions from the host, and became increasingly agitated at his attempt to draw out her core values. That's because her opinions were mere mimickry and not found through her own intellectual processes. Opinions such as this come from acceptance seeking, not conviction. Had she truly thought about it, her real opinion would surely have been different from her politically correct, open-minded. "the killer is a victim" opinion. As John F. Kennedy once said..."Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." That's what the pc crowd hopes for, and she was a good student. She followed all the hypocritical pc rules of non-judgementalism toward the criminal, yet managed to assign blame to society, conservatives, the murderers parents - just about everyone except the murderer himself! Where she failed was in applying her brain to the grim reality of the situation. Had she truly considered how it would be to have her own family killed in her own home by a total stranger, the unstable foundation of her extreme open-mindedness would have eroded. I say 'unstable' foundation because it can be no other way if you build your house of beliefs on someone else's foundation of thoughts. You can start with someone else's thoughts, but unless you think them through to your own conclusion, they are not yours and you will draw little strength, faith and comfort from them, especially in times of need. Being open-minded is still a good quality to strive for, but not at the expense of sacrificing your own brainwork. Criminals must be held accountable. Unfortunately, personal responsibility and accountability have been eroded by soft-hearted, soft-minded movements based in feelings and fantasy instead of reality based thought. This direction will only increase crime and dependence and decay our society further. Open-mindedness must be tempered with judgment, discretion, reason, and a willingness to take positions. The PC movement has convoluted the term 'open-minded' to mean non-judgmental, just as they have prostituted the definition of many words in an attempt to shame people into adopting their political agenda, or at least keeping their mouth shut and staying out of the way. Being open-minded, to them, means you must agree with them. Any movement that doesn't allow for individual thought and dissenting opinion is cultism! Open-mindedness should mean you have the ability and are willing to examine ideas and issues without prejudice in order to form an opinion, or to re-examine your opinion in light of new evidence. It is the doorway that enables us to entertain ideas to form an *enlightened* opinion that we *can* stand up for. It does not mean you must be a garbage can for any swill someone wants to pour into your head. Being as open-minded as the lady caller is mental laziness and spineless approval seeking... and that's my considered opinion. "In order to keep an open mind, I am trying to avoid learning anything." - Ashleigh Brilliant |
| Consider... YOU. In all time before now and in all time to come, there has never been and will never be anyone just like you. You are unique in the entire history and future of the universe. Wow! Stop and think about that. You're better than one in a million, or a billion, or a gadzillion...You are the only one like you in a sea of infinity!!! You're amazing! You're awesome! And by the way, TAG, you're it. As amazing and awesome as you already are, you can be even more so. Beautiful young people are the whimsey of nature, but beautiful old people are true works of art. But you don't become "beautiful" just by virtue of the aging process. Real beauty comes from learning, growing, and loving in the ways of life. That is the Art of Life. You can learn slowly, and sometimes painfully, by just waiting for life to happen to you. Or you can choose to accelerate your growth and intentionally devour life and all it offers. You are the artist that paints your future with the brush of today. Paint a Masterpiece. God gives every bird its food, but He doesn't throw it into its nest. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do, it's truly up to you. |
| Some people go through life standing at the excuse counter. People say they'd like to do this or that, but . . . then they offer all the excuses in the world why they can't do whatever 'it' is. No matter what the excuses are, the only thing usually limiting them is their own self-perception. If I've learned anything, I've learned a person - any person - can do just about anything they set their mind to do. The only thing you need is a willingness to work for what you want, patience to learn what you need to know, and just a little bit of belief in yourself. The most important of these is belief in yourself, but you only need a seed. Your faith in yourself will grow with you as you move forward. If your self-perception is that you can't accomplish something because you're not smart enough, then take the time to learn what you need to know and your self-perception will change. If your self-perception is that you can't accomplish something because you never finish anything you start, then go finish something and change your self-perception. If your self-perception is that you're too lazy, too busy, too unworthy, too unfocused, too depressed, too dependent on others, too anything to accomplish great things, then you're right. You are that because you believe that, but you can change that! Life is change, and the past doesn't equal the future. Your reality today is the result of your past beliefs and actions. Change your beliefs and actions and you change your future. If you think you can or you can't, you're right. You are what you think. Think about that the next time you need an excuse. "You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind." - Darwin P. Kingsley |
| I'm not exactly Dear Abby, I don't even look good in dresses, but I do try to answer email from people that are seeking personal advice. There were times in my life when I could have used a "big brother" to lean on. Someone that would ask a question like that of a stranger is obviously in need of advice, but what do you say to a question like that? After a bit of a disclaimer about my qualifications to answer that question, I said this...Being popular, to me, is simply being likeable. I think being likeable means: 1. To like yourself. Not in a vain-glory way, but just liking who you are on the inside. If you don't like yourself, imagine how much harder is it for others to like you. Liking yourself is a matter of doing what you know is right in your heart. 2. To listen. Everyone has a need to talk. Those that really listen will always have someone to talk with- and notice, I said talk "with" not "to". 3. Don't talk too much about yourself. Bragging, constantly talking about yourself, and other forms of egotism are boring. If you don't believe that go look in the mirror and look yourself in the eye and tell you how wonderful you are. You'll get tired of it quickly, so do others. To be interesting to others is simply to be interested in others more than you are in talking about yourself. 4. Smile! Sounds simple, and it is, but people like people who smile at them. It makes them smile and smiling makes you feel happy. If you smile when you first see someone, and each time you first see them, there's a good chance they'll like you just because they make you smile. It makes them feel good about themselves. 5. Be generous of spirit. It doesn't matter how good a person feels about themselves, it's always nice for them to know others appreciate their talent, accomplishments, personality, attitude, uniqueness, etc. There are hundreds of things you can compliment someone about, just be genuine and don't go overboard with it. Insincerity can be sensed. Genuinely complimenting someone costs you nothing, but to the recipient, an unsolicited compliment is something that can't be bought at any price. 6. Be slow to be critical. I probably get one letter critical of my web site or newsletter for every 99 that compliment me. It still thrills me to receive compliments and still bothers me to be criticized. I know you can't please everyone, but I'm human and that's just the way we are. 7. Don't try too hard to be liked. Those that do are often perceived in negative ways - like emotionally needy, overbearing, insincere, or many other things that will put distance between you and others. Not everyone will like you, just as you're not going to like everyone. In those cases, accept that and move on. 8. Don't be a whiner! No one wants to listen to constant complaining, fault-finding and holier-than-thou attitudes. 9. Don't talk negatively about others. Others will realize if you talk badly to them about others behind their back, you'll also speak poorly of them when they're not around. 10. Don't talk too loud. A whisper is listened to more closely than a shout. People that are seeking attention often talk louder than normal in an attempt to force their way to the top of the conversation chain. While the result of that can work in the short term, the long term result is usually that you have less opportunities to mingle with others. Accept your natural place in a conversation. Sometimes that will be taking a lead role, and other times it will be patiently listening and waiting for the right moment to comment. So how'd I do? What are your keys to popularity and friendship? "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." - Epictetus |
| Years ago, one of the girls in a group I used to pal around with met a boy. He was new in town and seemed quite pleasant, had a pixie-like smile and was fun to be around. We welcomed him into our circle. Donna and Kevin (not their real names) became an item. Before long, Donna noticed a few things missing, but she was a woman in love and excused them away without telling anyone. In the meantime, her new love rented a room from another member of our crowd who happened to be a local deputy sheriff. Not too long after renting Kevin a room the deputy noticed something missing too, but he didn't excuse it. He confronted Kevin about some missing money. Kevin admitted he took it but said he thought he could put it back before it was missed, he was desperate and no one was there to ask. He said he knows it was wrong and he felt terrible about it, and said if he would forgive him he'd put the right foot forward. The deputy forgave him. A few weeks later, Donna caught Kevin on a date with another woman. She was really hurt, but Kevin said he just wanted one last date to be sure he was in love because he wanted to ask her to marry him. He said if she'd marry him he'd be the happiest man in the world and he'd put the right foot forward from now on. Donna bought into that line too. A few days later Kevin disappeared, along with over $2000 of Donna's money and the deputy's checkbook. He was caught 2 weeks later writing stolen checks. Donna's money was gone. When he came to trial Kevin told the judge how sorry he was, and that he was anxious to make restitution. He said he wanted to put the right foot forward and turn his life around. The judge bought into that too. Kevin was given the lightest sentence he could be given, which was time served, probation, community service, and ordered to make restitution and undergo counseling. A few months later Kevin attempted to rob a bank. There was a high speed chase and he lost control of his car. He survived a crash into a stone wall guarding a cemetery. Kevin was fond of saying he wanted to put the right foot forward when he was in trouble, he'd been saying it all his life. Kevin lost his left leg in that car crash. Now, the right foot is all he has to put forward. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Freak coincidence? Consider this...Jeremy has a speech habit too, he doesn't even realize he says it most of the time. Whenever anything goes amiss, he says "well that just makes me sick." He's said it so often that it has developed into an unconscious, repetitive expression. Jeremy also spends a *lot* of time at the doctors office, sick in bed, or in the hospital with a variety of maladies. I see these as connected realities. He continually internalizes the phrase that something just makes him sick, and the consequence is that he often is. In short, pay attention to the way you talk, to yourself and to others. Because you might just get what you confess. That's not to say that everytime you use a phrase it becomes reality, but the power of your self-talk is a real force in your life. Anything repeated often enough becomes internalized and has a greater chance of becoming true for you. |
| With several major conventions in town, there was not a room to be rented anywhere. When an elderly couple walked in out of the cold rain, the desk clerk knew they would never find lodging. In an act of kindness, he offered them the only bed in town, his own bed. The couple at first refused, but through reason and kindness, he persuaded the couple to accept his offer. When they checked out the next morning, the elderly gentleman said to the desk clerk, "you are the kind of person who should be managing the best hotel in the United States. Maybe someday I'll build one." They chuckled about that and the elderly couple left. The incident and the elderly couple were forgotten by the desk clerk until two years later when he received a letter from the old man requesting he come up to New York and see him. There was a round-trip airline ticket with the letter.The desk clerk thought "why not?" and took the flight to New York. The old man met him at the airport and immediately took him to a construction site to show him an enormous castle-like structure being built there. " That," proclaimed the old man, "is the hotel I'm building for you to manage!" The old man was William Waldorf Astor, and the hotel he was building would soon be known as the Waldorf-Astoria. The former desk clerk, George C. Boldt, became the first manager of one of the finest hotels in the world. "Giving never moves in a straight line - it always travels in circles." - Dr. Robert Schuller "One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness, for it is usually returned." - Mark Ortman |
| A have a friend (I really do!) ...a friend that started an online business in August of '98. And though she had a little real world business experience, she had no online experience and had never ran her own business. She partnered with another person who had also never ran a business before. As start-ups always go when you have no capital to speak of, it started very slowly. There were many discouraging nights and thoughts of giving up. But they hung in there. Partly out of desperation and partly because the options were very limited in the small town she lived in. Finally, they attracted their first client. Their first client was very demanding of their time, requiring an inordinate amount of support and attention. But they went above and beyond the call of duty and earned the client's respect, and a referral. Word got around a bit and a few more clients signed on. They weren't making a lot of money yet, and what little they were making had to be split two ways after the bills were paid, but at least there were signs of hope now. Then disaster struck. Her computer, which was old and requiring a lot of nickel and dime repairs to keep working, finally gave up. Without her computer and without the means to replace it, it looked like the end of their business. Then an angel came a calling. Not a celestial angel with wings and halo, but an angel just the same. One of their past clients who was so pleased with the service they'd given him had a brand new state-of-the-art computer delivered to her doorstep! It was a gift from him to her for a job well done. I could end this here and have a nice story about how good things happen to good people. It could end with a few thoughts about how hard work and a desire to succeed pay off. It could be about the spirit of giving - how it always comes back to you...It is about all that, and more. She fought through all this while battling life-threatening cancer. She did it with a fear of dying, with people telling her she couldn't do it, and with very little complaining and feeling sorry for herself. This story is really about courage and the will to live and hold life to account. I can't tell you how much I admire the grit and resolve she has shown, but I can tell you this...Where there is a will to achieve and succeed, where there is a desire to make the best of the hand you're dealt; indeed, where there is life itself, there is always hope. My friend didn't let tremendous adversity stop her, though that would have been the easiest thing to do. Had she given in, this story would have had another, sadder outcome. But she didn't, and I'm proud and inspired to know her. So to you, my cyberspace friends, I finish this with one thought. When the world seems against you and your days are colored black, light your own candle of hope and fight right back. "There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle." - Robert Alden |
| Let me tell you about Jeff. I met him while back in Iowa for a funeral. Jeff has a deep, deep voice, and I admit, he's a little scary looking as well. He doesn't laugh or even smile much, and has a thick, wide scar that starts at his right eye and disappears beneath his reddish blonde hair. Jeff has intense, piercing eyes that seem to burn right through you. A lot of the folks back there are afraid of him, afraid of what they fear he might do to them in some imaginary situation. Many others think he's retarded because he doesn't respond very quickly and speaks very slowly when he does. Most avoid him like he's a disease or the worst kind of criminal. If only they knew Jeff. Jeff was in a car accident and was almost killed from the head injuries. He's had to learn to talk again, to walk again, and has trouble recalling things. His brain doesn't work fast, so he's very slow and deliberate. Jeff wouldn't hurt them, he'd be more likely to come to their aid. The car accident is the cause of everyone's fear and mockery, but that's only part of the story. Jeff's wife of 20 years left him after the accident. She couldn't handle the "new" Jeff. She also left their seven children for him to care for, despite his own tribulations. The oldest boy, about 17 years old, is a paraplegic, and two other children are deaf mutes. He's in a lot of pain from his injuries, but manages to care for his family, which, with the eldest being wheelchair bound, is quite a lot of physical work. His back hurts all the time from it. Even that's not all. Jeff fell in love with an old friend of ours, that's how we met him. She has six children, one of which is also a deaf mute. Her husband left her for a younger woman years ago. As if Jeff didn't have it hard enough, he helps take care of her and her children as well. That's 13 children, four with specialized needs. I've always tried not to judge people by their looks, the reason should be obvious by now. Hidden behind Jeff's scary looks and intimidating presence beats the heart of a gentle and caring man. I learned a lot in our few hours together. He is a walking example of a man who has sacrificed much, and still greets each day with sense of duty and honors his duty to the last minute of the day. He's not handsome, he's not smart, he's not anything most people would strive to be...but maybe they should. Jeff is a man with a tremendous sense of responsibility, with a huge desire to do his best for others, with a seemingly endless amount of compassion and the courage to carry on in the face of overwhelming odds. We could all use a little of what Jeff's got. I salute the Jeffs of the world. Anyone can lead others down a trampled path, but it takes real courage and heart to carve your way through a deep and strange personal wilderness. He may never have much in the way of material goods in this life, but he is surely building up a heavenly treasure trove. I only hope when he's old and worn out, that his children take half as good care of him as he has them - he'll be fine then. "From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life." "It matters if you just don't give up." "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." |
I got these "Pearls of Wisdon" from Boogie Jack's. Please be sure and visit His site. It has been an inspiration to me, as I hope it may be for you too. |