Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
PS 13:1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
PS 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
PS 13:3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
PS 13:4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
PS 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
PS 13:6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
I decided to share a testimony on how God spoke to me in a very fantastic way. This Psalm I feel was a sort of prophecy of what has happened to me. I think the best way I could share this with you is to share it with you piece by piece.
Psalm 13 was "For the director of music. A psalm of David." I find that funny, because my name is David. And just like this Psalm was a Psalm of King David, I do believe it is mine also.
PS 13:1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
Not too long ago in my life I was asking this same question, "How long, O LORD?" How long must I suffer? How long must I be depressed, inneffective, discontent, and unassured? How long must I wait? There were many times when I was wondering if God had forgotten me or hidden from me. I felt alone.
PS 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
PS 13:4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
Oh, did I wrestle with my thoughts! Each and every day I had sorrow in my heart. Deep sorrow. It was hard to pray. Times at night when I would lay in my bed, desiring to just cry, but for some reason, couldn't. Anguish was only there. And during these times at night when I pleaded for God's help spiritual warfare was so evident. I could feel it. I experienced it, and it seemed so hard to bare. Horrible thoughts could knock on my door, thoughts of suicide to end it all. But suicide I could never choose. NEVER. God had his hand upon me during these times. I am not out of his reach. His arm steadied me. I could not end my life for I had to endure so that I could obtain the life I sought in Christ. Abundant life I sought. It seemed like everyone was winning but me. As in verse two it says "my enemy" I do believe that my enemies were sin, satan and his fallen angels (spiritual warfare), and my problems. It seemed like all of these things trying to beat my door down.
PS 13:3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
I pleaded for the Lord to answer my questions. I wanted to know why this was happening. I felt away from the Lord. I wanted it all to be over. I wanted the Lord to help me to see why it was all the way it was. And as King David said, so I agree, that if I could not see the reason then I would not live. The death I mean would be living in the physical way, but spiritually dead by sorrow. But when God would rescue me then I would have abundant life, that I so desired. During that time in my life I realized that I am nothing without God. I realized that I could not do one single thing without Him. Throughout all this I kept trusting that God would never leave me. I trusted He would pull me from this pit when the time came.
PS 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
On the night of the 26 of the month of June I was on a mission trip to Houston, Texas. My spirit was low. That night while my youth group sang praise and worship music I stayed seated... praying. I realized that a lot of my trouble was that I was having doubts of if I would really go to heaven. Satan was shooting those darts of doubt at me like he has always done. So I turned it over to God and said, "Lord, I trust in You to get me to heaven, because I know that I cannot do it. I put my soul in your hands and trust that you will do what you promise and bring me to heaven." And I felt better. Whenever doubt has come into my mind, I tell myself, "You're in God's hands." My heart rejoices.
PS 13:6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
Now I sing to the Lord, for yes He has been good to me! He gave me this trial to build me up and make me stronger. It was a purifying process that I had to go through. And though it was hard I am thankful for it. For when I am weak then I am strong! (2 Corinthians 12:10)