Pre-marital Sex
Pre-marital sex: sex before marriage
"That person sure looks good! Hey, it's not so bad! I am just admiring God's creation. Besides, it is okay to think about sex, as long as you don't actually do it, right? I'm not hurting anyone, am I?"
First of all, where is your focus? Is it on God, or are you fixed on finding "the one"? Don't focus on finding your mate whereas that is before God. Focus on God! (Hebrews 12:2; Colossians 3:1-2) If you put God first and do what he wants you to then before you know it "the one" will be right in front of you! Put God first, and he will bring "the one" into your life (Matthew 6:33; Psalm 37:4).
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Second of all, what good are your thoughts doing? Are they helping you? Philippians 4:8 says to focus on good things. If you think of doing perverted things with others then your whole perspective on that person will change. You will not be looking on that person as a brother or sister in Christ or as God's creation, but as an object to fill your sinful craving. This desire will lead to emptiness. If this desire is left unaddressed then it will lead to death (James 1:13-15). Bad thoughts of other people will hurt your relationship with the person who you are lusting after, and your relationship with God will be damaged. Also, Jesus said that if you look at someone lustfully then you have already committed adultery with that person in your heart. (See Matthew 5:27-30) You are being unfaithful to your wife (or future wife) when you lust. That is how serious perverted thoughts can be! Don't dwell on thoughts like, "That person is hot!" They are senseless. They do no good. Instead, don't think about things of the such, and you will cut off the temptation to think lustful thoughts of that person. If you decide to not feed a temptation then you won't be led to sin. If you stop the temptation then you will have no desire to sin. I have learned this: Don't give into the temptation of being tempted.
Job was described as a truly good person who respected God and refused to do evil. In Job 31:1-4 it says, "I promised myself never to stare with desire at a young woman. God All-Powerful punishes men who do that. In fact, God sends disaster on all who sin, and he keeps a close watch on everything I do." Will you look at others lustfully, or will you say, "No!"?. Job said, "No!". As it says in this verse, "God All-Powerful punishes men who do that" and he "sends disaster on all who sin". Could one of these disasters be AIDS??? Yes, I do think so. Romans 1:26-27 is: "God let them follow their own evil desires. Women no longer wanted to have sex in a natural way, and they did things with each other that were not natural. Men behaved in the same way. they stopped wanting to have sex with women and had strong desires for sex with other men. They did shameful things with each other, and what has happened to them is punishment for their foolish deeds." I think AIDS is but one of the punishments that God has allowed because of this world's immorality. To have sex before marriage is wrong. To have sex with someone of the same sex is wrong... Also in that verse it says that God watches what we do. He knows what we are thinking. Every single thought of ours is weighed, or judged, by God. Do you really want God to see that you are lusting after his own creation, which was created for helping you and not to be an object in which you use to indulge in sin?
What does the Bible have to say about sex? What does God think about sex?
Colossians 3:5 says "Don't be controlled by your body. Kill every desire for the wrong kind of sex. Don't be immoral or indecent or have evil thoughts..." "God wants you to be holy, so don't be immoral in matters of sex (1 Thessalonians 4:3). Pre-marital sex is unholy and immoral. God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God (1 Corinthians 6:20). Sexual intercourse is to be reserved for the commitment of marriage.
Proverbs 5:18-19 clearly shows that God intended sex to be a good thing. But within the commitment of a marriage relationship. God wants you to delight in sex, but knows that if you do it outside of marriage then you will have much pain and emptiness (not to mention diseases). He warns you to save sex for marriage, because he cares for you. He doesn’t want you to feel those bad feelings that are attached to immoral behavior.
In Hebrews 13:4 it says to "Have respect for marriage. Always be faithful to your partner, because God will punish anyone who is immoral or unfaithful in marriage." Proverbs 5 talks about sex.
God doesn't want you to "be like a stream from which just any woman (or man) may take a drink" [emphasis added] (Proverbs 5:16). Don't have sex with just anyone. God wants you to live a pure life, and not to give yourself over to just anyone. God wants you to save yourself for the "one" that he has planned for you.
For instance, say that you fill a bathtub up with water. Then someone comes along, who is quite muddy, and asks if it would be okay if he/she could take a bath in your bathtub. You agree, and the person leaves without draining the water. Some time later another person, who is filthy, comes along and asks the same question. You agree to let this person use your bathtub. This person leaves after using your bathtub without draining the water, also. In no time at all your bathtub is so grungy that you think that it is just "the way life goes" and that there is no other alternative. Your bathtub is left a mess.
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Now, I think you probably understand what I am talking about. Your body is like the bathtub. Whenever you have sex with someone, you are making it dirtier. Your body will then be polluted with sexual immorality. There is only one way to make your body clean again. Jesus is the only One that can do it. You must ask Jesus to flip the drain switch to drain your dirty water out of your life. After that you can then refill your life with that clean water, that only God can provide for you.
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What our desires should be is to stay pure until we are married with that perfect someone that God has planned for us to marry. See, when you have sex with the “one” your God has planned for you (in marriage), then there is no pollution. Your mate is pure, and without filth, and so your water is clean.
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God has this exciting, beautiful, awesome, lovely, perfect girl prepared for me. She will be exactly what I want, what I need. Until me and this girl, whoever she is, are married, I will abstain from sex. I made that commitment to God when I was younger. I won't have sex with other girls, because I know she would not want me to do that to her. I know that the sex that is before marriage is by far not as enjoyable as sex in marriage. In marriage you are committed totally to this person, and you don't have to worry about "other partners" or diseases. You and your partner will be totally each other’s, and no one else’s. See, God has someone planned for you too! All of the above can be your hope too! It is God's hope for you.
" Save yourself for your wife (or husband) and don't have sex with other women (or men). [emphasis added] (Proverbs 5:17). God not only wants you to save yourself until marriage, but he commands it.
How do you live a pure life? Psalm 119:9 says that young people can live a clean life by obeying God's word. When you find out what God wants you to do and not do, by reading God's Word, then you will find out the answers on how to do other things instead of doing bad things.
Ok, I believe all of this is true, but what if it's too late, and I have already had sex before marriage!? Can I truly start over?
1 John 1:9 says that "if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away." No matter what sin you have done, God can forgive you and will if you confess your sin and honestly turn from it.
If you are struggling with lust and fighting the temptation of doing something immoral then go to:
"Flesh"
This page talks about overcoming temptation to sin and temptation.
Remember what it says in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much, and he will show you how to escape from your temptations."
1 Thessalonians 4:7-8|
God didn't choose you to be filthy, but to be pure. So if you don't obey these rules, you are not really disobeying us. You are disobeying God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.