Ah, the Dancing Baby Ate My Balls -- the contest

Submit a story (not way too long) telling me how your balls were
eaten by the Dancing Baby. It must be semi-clean (as in no incredibly
perverted jokes) and good, don't send me crap. The winner will
have their story posted on next month's site and will recieve a complimentary
pair of balls from the Dancing Baby. So get to writing, and the funniest
and most creative wins.

It all started about a weekand a day after my girlfriend dumped me, my best
friend talked me into looking for some hot girls at a new bar in town he knew
of. We walked in and I immediatly headed towards the bartender. I asked for a
screwdriver and something for a cute lady three stools down.
    "Going right to work?" asked my best friend.
    "Oh you know it!" I shot back with a smile and cocked eye brow.
    I noticed the girl getting a glass of vodka mixed with milk and then flashing
a white toothed smile. She motioned for me to join her so I did. She said her
name was Tammi. We must have talked for about two hours. It was getting a
litle late and we were both tired.
    I drove Tammi home and she asked if I wanted to come up for some coffee. Now
I'm in my right mind so of course, why not? She lived on the top floor. She
served me a mug of coffee and said she wanted to get changed into something
more "comfortable". I knew where this was going. I finished the coffee just as
she came out in black lingerie with a small cord hanging from the mid-chest.
    She told me she liked kinky and cuffed me to the bed, arms and legs. Now i
lay there wereing nothing but those somewhat painful handcuffs. She stood up
and pulled the cord and defalted down to be three feet tall. Just than lights
started flashing from above and a bright beam hit me pulling me up to an
aircraft of some sort. Inside were five babies and the "Ooga Chaka" tune
playing. Beside me were my best friend and another man whom I did not know.
    The five babies hovered over our testicles and produced some metal tools.
They appeared to be sharp and that frightenend me as would anyone else (I mean
your testes are at stake here!). With the blink of an eye the flew down and
unbearable pain devoured me into my unconciousness.
    When I woke in my own apartment, it all seemed to be unclear and I assume it
was a dream. Suddenly, a throbbing itch developed in my groin. I reached down
to scratch and realized, my two buddies were missing and stiching replaced
them. Not only were Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum missing but the babies showed
no fear to move up a few inches and take my life long partner with them.

--==The Contest==--