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OH SHIT, AROUND THE HEAD, WHO SAID HEAD, I'LL TAKE SOME OF THAT,
WE DON'T LIKE WOMEN WITH GOOD TASTE, WE LIKE WOMEN THAT TASTE GOOD,
OH SHIT
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I used to work in Chicago
We often get kicked out for this one. Soloists volunteer for each verse by raising their beer.
I used to work in Chicago, at the old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman come in for some paper!
Some paper from the store?
Paper she wanted, reamed she got!
Oohh! I don't work there anymore!
I used to work in Chicago, at the old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman come in for some jewelry!
Some jewelry from the store?
Jewelry she wanted, a pearl necklace she got!
Oohh! I don't work there anymore!
And similarly:
Hammer she wanted, nailed she got
Carpet she wanted, shagged she got
Drill she wanted, screwed she got
Fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
Meat she wanted, my sausage she got
Beef she wanted, porked she got
Helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
Camel she wanted, humped she got
Translator she wanted, cunning linguist she got
delivery she wanted, my package she got
smith she wanted, my johnson she got
plumbing she wanted, my pipe she got
ruler, 12 inches
lobster, crabs
elevator, my shaft
bathtub, golden shower
cd, my vd
rooster, my cock
red headed viking, my purple headed warrior
Fuck she wanted, fuck she got
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Monday's a Working Day
This is sung with a leader in call and response.
Monday's a working day!
Monday's a working day!
Is everybody happy?
You bet your ass we are!!
Do-do do-do do-do do-do
Do-do do-do do-do!! (Spin around here with your beer on your head... no I'm serious)
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tounging day!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tounging day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tounging day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Friday's a drinking day! (Don't say anything... drink your beer for chris-sake)
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tounging day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Friday's a drinking day! (Don't say anything... drink your beer for chris-sake)
Saturday's a rugby day!!
Is everybody happy?
Monday's a working day!
Tuesday's a finger day!
Wednesday's a tounging day!
Thursday's a fucking day!
Friday's a drinking day! (Don't say anything... drink your beer for chris-sake)
Saturday's a rugby day!!
Sunday is a day of rest (Look angelic and say...)
Amen.
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Why were you Born so Beautiful
Sung to the tune of some hymn, dunno which one, on those rare occasions a rugger steps out o' line.
Why were you born so beautiful
Why were you born at all
You are of no fucking use to us
you only have on ball..
so drink motherfucker drink motherfucker drink
drink motherfucker drink motherfucker drink
And if he takes to long...
Why are we waiting?
Why are we waiting, we could be masturbating, so why are we waiting... for
YOU... to SING... a SONG!
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Haka
Here are the words and a translation of the haka performed by the New Zealand All Blacks before matches, as well as a short blurb on what its all about.
Ka mate Ka mate
It is death --------It is death
Ka ora Ka ora
It is life ----------It is life
Ka mate Ka mate
It is death --------It is death
Ka ora Ka ora
It is life ----------It is life
Tenei Te Tangata Puhuruhuru
This is the hairy man
Nana i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra
Who caused the sun to shine again for me
Upane Upane
Up the ladder Up the ladder
Upane Kaupane
Up to the top
Whiti te ra
The sun shines!
The haka is a war dance. The words are chanted loudly (shouted) in a menacing way accompanied by arm actions and foot stamping. A haka was traditionally performed before charging into battle.
The Maori pronunciation is basically one vowel per syllable, with the vowels having the European rather than English sound. The `wh' is aspirated almost like an `f' (f is good enough for most people).
As for what it all means, about 140 years ago, a particularly notorious warlike chief named Te Rauparaha of the Ngati Toa tribe (based just North of present day Wellington), was being chased by his enemies. He hid in a kumara pit (the local sweet potato, only much better) and waited in the dark for his pursuers to find him. He heard sounds above and thought he was done for when the top of the pit was opened up and sunshine flooded in. He was blinded and struggled to see those about to slay him, when his sight cleared and he instead saw the hairy legs of the local chief (reputed to have been exceptionally hirsute) who had hid him. Te Rauparaha is said to have jumped from the pit and performed this haka on the spot, so happy was he to have escaped. Undoubtedly, he also had in his mind to do a little pursuing of his own --- Te Rauparaha being that way inclined was he.
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If I were the marrying kind (singer raises drink/hand to sing lead, as usual for rugby songs)
if i were a marrying kind
i thank the lord i'm not sir
the kind of man that i would be
would be a rugby +++++++++
prop sir
prop sir?
'cause i'd support a hooker
and you'd support a hooker
we'd all support a hooker together
we'd be alright, in the middle of the night
supporting hookers together
(the next verses change "prop" with the first line
and "support a hooker" with the second line)
Prop #2
Keep it up
2nd row
sniff butt
scrum half
put it in
halftime orange
get sucked
spectator on a rainy day
come in rubbers
spectator on a sunny day
come again
spectator on a snowy day
never come
goal post
stand erect
goal post #2
get split
grounds keeper #1
trim bush
grounds keeper #2
do lines
grounds keeper #3
lay pipe
grounds keeper #4
keep it wet
boot
come in boxes
cleat
get screwed
ball
get pumped
whistle
get blown
back
drop balls
fullback
kick balls
referee
really suck
rookie
fuck it up
winger
never get it
sfa rugger
get drunk and laid
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S&M Man (guranteed to run some less than dedicated supporters/girls away)
Who can take a cheese grator
strap it to his arm
shove it in and out and make pussy parmesean!
The S&M Man, the S&M Man
Cause it takes alot of loving to make the hurt feel good
the hurt feel good
Who can take a meat hook,
ram it through her tit,
hang her up by it and nibble on the clit..
The S&M Man, the S&M Man
Cause it takes alot of loving to make the hurt feel good
the hurt feel good.
Who can take a Chainsaw,
cut the bitch in two,
fuck the lower half and give the other half to you
*chorus*
Who can take two ice picks,
shove'em in her ears,
use them as handlebars while you fuck her in the rear
*chorus*
Who can take a tricycle,
rip off the seat,
shove his little sister on it and kick her down the street
*chorus*
who can take three little boys,
ages 4,6, and 8
lock'em in a closet and make'em masturbate
*chorus*
who can take a little girl,
make her suck your cock,
shove it deeper and deeper until her jaws lock
*chorus*
who can take a catholic priest,
through him over the pew,
fuck him up the ass till he wish he were a jew
**
who can take (name of friend or someone to pick on)'s grandma,
through her on the lawn,
fuck her in the grass while grandpa cheers you on
**
who can take a tampon,
suck out all the blood,
put it back in then pass it to his bud
**
who can go to an abortion clinic,
sneak around the back,
rummage through the dumpster and grab a tasty snack
**
who can go to an abortion clinic,
fuck sneaking round the back,
go through the front and take one off the rack
**
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YOGI BEAR
(singers volunteer per verse, state first line then others join in, some creative pronunciating is used to keep
the song flowing well)
I know a bear that you all know, Yogi, Yogi
I know a bear that you all know, Yogi Yogi bear
Yogi Yogi Bear, Yogi Yogi bear
I know a bear that you all know
Yogi Yogi bear
Yogi has a little friend, Bobo, Bobo,
Yogi has a little friend, bobo, bobo
Bo buh bobo bear, bo buh bobo bear
Yogi has a little friend, bo buh bobo bear
Yogi has a girlfriend, Cindy, cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend, Cind uh cindy bear
cind uh cindy bear, cind uh cindy bear
Yogi has a girlfriend, cind uh cindy bear
Yogi has an enemy, ranger, ranger
Yogi has an enemy, ranger ranger smith
Ranger ranger smith, ranger ranger smith
Yogi has an enemy ranger ranger smith
Yogi has a 12 inch dick, black bear, black bear
Yogi has a 12 inch dick, black ah black black bear,
Black ah black black bear, black ah black black bear
Yogi has a 12 inch dick Black ah black black bear.
Bobo's only 3 feet tall, perfect, perfect
Bobo's only 3 feet tall, perfect perfect bear
Perfect perfect bear, perfect perfect bear
Bobo's only 3 feet tall, perfect perfect bear
Cindy doesn't put out, Baylor, baylor
Cindy doesn't put out, baylor baylor bear
Baylor baylor bear, baylor baylor bear
Cindy doesn't put out, baylor baylor bear
Cindy doesn't shave her pubes, grizzly, grizzly
cindy doesn't shave her pubes, grizzly grizzly bear
grizzly grizzly bear, grizzly grizzly bear
cindy doesn't shave her pubes, grizzly grizzly bear
**and so forth**
Cindy likes it upside down, Koala....
Cindy likes it on the freezer, Polar....
cindy likes it up the ass, Brown ....
cindy likes it in lingerie, teddy...
cindy likes it on the rag, red...
*careful, the next two are for professionals only*
Cindy likes it long and green, cucum, cucum
Cu cu cumbear, cucumbear cucumbear
Cindy likes it long and green, cu cucumbear
Cindy weighs 500 pounds, more than, more than
Cindy weighs 500 pounds, more than i can bear
more than i can bear, more than i can bear
cindy weighs 500 pounds more than i can bear
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We Are Warriorers (one lead singer for whole song, sings line and group repeats)
We are warriors
Mighty mighty warriors
we go hunting
we got rifles
itty bitty bullets
come to a river
can't go around it
can't go over it
can't go under it
GOTTA GO THROUGH IT
*repeat, replacing river with other objects and such*
forest
moutain
canyon
lake
village
fire
building
ocean
soccer player
football player
woman (*then next line* Oh, big ol woman)
football player
then to finish
We are warriors
Mighty mighty warriors
we go hunting
we got rifles
itty bitty bullets
come to a RUGBY PLAYER
can't go around him
can't go under him
can't go over him
...guess we'll go home(or something else to convey that it's hopeless)
this is a song sang with the utmost enthusiasm, loud and fun. Each
line should be accompanied by charrade/mimic of the line.
We are warriors (usually motions to others)
Mighty mighty warriors (pounding on chest)
we go hunting (walking through woods stealthly)
we got rifles (pretending to hold/aim long rifle)
itty bitty bullets (high squeaky voice, fingers pinched in front of you
reflecting how small they are)
come to a ****** (motion of obstacle, wave palm across horizon for a
river, two hand together high spreading wider to bottom for mountain,
and so forth)
can't go around it (motion going around with hand and arm)
can't go over it (motion going over with hand and arm)
can't go under it (motion going under it)
GOTTA GO THROUGH IT (march forcefully swinging arms, lots of strength)
also, if so desired, singers can put shirts over heads (kinda like beavis of bevis and butthead)
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I Met a Whore in the Park
Sung to the tune When Jonny Comes Marching Home. (one lead singer)
I met a whore in the park one day
yo ho, yo ho
I met a whore in the park one day
yo ho, yo ho
I met a whore in the park one day
She said hey rugger, you wanna lay
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her toe
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
she said hey rugger you're way to low.
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her knee
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee,
she said hey rugger you're kiddin' me
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her thigh
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her thigh
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her thigh,
she said hey rugger you're way to shy
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her tit
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her tit
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her tit
she said, "hey rugger, now you're getting it"
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her twat
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat
yo ho, yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat,
she said hey rugger now that's the spot
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my dick into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my dick into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my dick into her mouth,
She said mmm, mhmh, mhmhm...
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
We put her in a wooden box
yo ho, yo ho
We put her in a wooden box
yo ho, yo ho
We put her in a wooden box,
she died from havin' too many rugger's cocks
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
We dig her up every now and then
yo ho, yo ho
We dig her up every now and then
yo ho, yo ho
We dig her up every now and then,
she fucked us once she'll fuck us again
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho
Now these few ruggers they went to hell
yo ho, yo ho
Now these few ruggers they went to hell
yo ho, yo ho
Now these few ruggers they went to hell,
they fucked the devil and his wives as well!!
Get in, Get out, quit fuckin' about
yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.
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