Have you ever felt like you just can't seem to have faith in your religion any longer? I have, that's why I decided to do this page, to sorta express my feelings. I was born a Catholic and for 16 years I believed that is the only true religion, it is "the way". But in the last year I started questioning it. A while back in my World Religions class we were supposed to make up a religion of our own. My group chose something silly, but it got me thinking. What if I could really make up my own religion, with things I really believed in.
I mean, I get preached to all the time, mainly from Christians, Catholics to be exact. But what I find so ironic is that all these Catholics are telling me to obey all the 10 Commandments, to be a good little Catholic girl and be kind to everybody, treat everybody w/ respect b/c God loves us all equally, people AND animals, etc., yet ironically, none of these people follow their preachings, they just talk out of their ass. I'm sorry, I know I sound bitter, but it's just really frustrating. I watch these people in their daily lives, claiming to be the children of God, yet putting down the less fortunate, playing favorites, treating the earth, which God created, like crap, along w/ the animals. They claim they don't care about money b/c love is more important, yet in the same breath ask how much they will be making at their new job, whether they'll have enough money to buy that big house and new car they've been wanting. I'm not making this up, I've seen it happen a number of times, in fact, I see it all the time. That's what made me rethink my faith, b/c I cannot have faith in something that sounds so fake, so superficial. I'm not saying everyone is like that, but most Christians, if not all, I've come across are like that. I believe in leading by example, but I, like many others, have a long way to go. So what do I believe in you ask? I believe that there is someone more powerful than us, more divine, a supreme being, whether it's a he or she, I do not know, maybe there is a Mother and a Father. I don't believe in heaven, can you imagine how HUGE it would have to be to hold all those people that ever died? I think life is cycle, we die, we turn to dust, we return to the soil, plants and trees take their nutrition from this soil, animals eat these plants, they die, and return back to the soil, where the cycle starts again. Note that we do not eat the animals since I included humans w/ the animals, but of course, technically speaking, we eat the animals and than we die and return to the soil. So where did WE come from? I think "God" (in my ideal religion this would be changed to a different name, kinda like "El", maybe something meaning "the one or ones") created the earth, but only created tiny microscopic prokaryotes that eventually, maybe even w/ God's help, began to develop into eukaryotes, that eventually into multi-cellular organism. These cells evolved b/c of changes on the earth and the earth's atmosphere, but what brought about these changes? God. That's my creation story, combining scientific w/ the religious. Like I said before, I would take something from each religion, something that I truly believe in, and combine it into one great religion. Like vegetarianism for example. If God loves everyone equally and we should treat everyone w/ respect, doesn't that include ALL animals, all of God's creatures? Would you eat your brother or sister, or make clothes out of his/her skin, and other things w/ other parts of his/her body. No way, especially not for your enjoyment! Pets are a no-no, especially birds, fish, bunnies, other animals that have a big chance as a species of surviving in the wild. Now dogs, cats, farm animals, they've been domesticated for so many years they must rely on humans for survival, so it would be really hard to turn them wild again, it would take hundreds of years, or even generations. But at least treat them w/ respect. A big part of the religion would be helping each other and our earth, using as little materials as possible, eating only organic foods, using no chemicals, especially harmful ones, reducing, reusing and recycling:)
Is this some crazy dream of mine? I don't know, it's definetly a dream. But how do I go about following it, would anyone even listen? Where do these beliefs come from? A lot of questions still remain unanswered for me, but than again, not one religion really has all the answers, right?
© 1997 sweetz32@hotmail.com
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