Yes folks, as you can plainly see from this wonderful picture of me, I am obviously the sexiest and handsomest cool dude you ever laid eyes on. Even though the picture was taken many years ago, when I was still a mere youngster of only fifty years old, age has been kind to me. I haven't deteriorated at all. I've improved with age.
I stand a magnificent 6'1" which is several inches taller than my hair, which allows me to rise above mundane concerns about what my hair looks like. It also saves money on haircuts.
I weigh an impressive 215 pounds, very definitely not anorexic. Those nice folks lurking and snorting dope in back alleys on dark nights immediately recognize my physical superiority and realize that it's to their best advantage to treat me with the great respect I truly deserve.
Now I realize how all of you wonderful ladies must be lusting and drooling over my gorgeous body, but sorry, I'm already happily married to the most beautiful woman in the world, as befits my magnificent self. Not only that, but my very own wife is a certified genius, member of Mensa, and recipient of several awards for intellectual accomplishments, so of course she's smart enough to recognize all my sterling qualities.
Not only that, but my cat is pretty smart, too. He's always raising his hand because he knows all the answers.
